OK, I'll play. Here are a few of my own confessions that show you just what a geek I am:

My name goes in one of the blanks in Murray's next-to-last item.

I have an "Underdog" T-shirt because I could always relate to him and my muscles are about as big as his. And I wear it in public.

My self-righteousness gets me into trouble a lot. It is part of the reason I got fired from a job. I have no regrets about it.

I drive a Mazda Miata -- 1997 M Edition, green with a tan top -- and it doesn't bother me that guys in big pickups think I'm a sissy. I drive it because it's fun.

My proudest moment as a father came when my oldest son -- now 15, but 6 at the time -- told me, "I don't want to be cool, dad. I want to be like you."

I'm surprised at the attractiveness of the women I have been able to date since my divorce 5 years ago.

I work in communications because I truly, deeply feel that it's the solution to most business problems. I know that's a naive and idealized viewpoint, but I don't care.

I allow my anger at people who have hurt me in the past to fuel my passion for causes I believe in today. That's not healthy, but I figure I might as well put all that anger to good use.

One of my greatest professional fears is that someone will be able to prove I don't know what I'm talking about. I believe I do know what I'm talking about, but I'm afraid someone will be able to prove that I don't. That will really suck.

That's way more than enough confession for one blog comment.

Robert, I love you. And I love the Miata (which we once drove around the impossible streets of D.C. for seven or eight hours, as you'll recall).

I relate so much to your item about using built-up anger to fuel today's passion.

If you think of it that way, anger is like coal: BURN IT!

(Sometimes, especially at times when I've recently quit smoking, I use the Anger Coal quite directly: "I think, I know I'm only angry because I'm not smoking. I'm going to spend that anger on somebody who deserves it." And I do.)

Sure, why not? I'll publicly announce the things that make me a big goof:

-I collect quotes and have hundreds of them. While I don't cite them in general conversation, I do choose one everyday to pin up on the wall of my cubicle to set the tone for the day. Yesterday's quote? "If you want a guarantee...buy a toaster"

-I am substantially more sarcastic than my outward daily behaviour demonstrates. I miss my university days when I was a newly-political-first-time-away-from-home-no-holds-barred kid who unapologetically jumped all over anyone who disagreed with her.

-I am convinced that I am hilariously funny (oddly, I find some people do not get my sense of humour - I put that down to their lack of understanding)

-I often care way too much about things, all kinds of things, whether I can immediately do anything about them or not. The stories about harmed animals or children that I do not even know immediately bring tears. The ignorance of George Bush, the religious right, intentionally ignorant peopel (which also includes George Bush), the lack of caring we seem to have for the pain of our fellow humans - all this infuriates me.

-I am naive enough to believe that it remains possible to change the above items (well except for Bush - that's a lost cause) if we can learn to stretch ourselves just a little more than we do now. I also believe that communication can assist in these issues, which is why I continue to be proud to call myself a communications person and love what I do.

Kristen Ridley: Too funny and too serious both.

-I voted for George Bush (twice) and would do it again--if nothing else, it shows about half the country that the other half don't agree with THEM either.
-I believe that God exists, and he wants us to spend eternity with him. It's our personal decision whether to accept that, and be humble enough to take ourselves off of the throne (no, not the toilet).
-I have not one, but TWO great American novels in the beginning stages. I need to write less blog comments and more of that honest truth about me and my life that Twain mentioned.
-People tell me secrets because I CAN keep them. But I hate the burden of knowing things that I can't tell others. That was one of the things that I hated about newspaper reporting--fighting with potential sources about going "on the record."
-I used to drink (etc.) a lot, but don't today. Probably won't tomorrow or later this month in New Orleans. I'm still fun to be around, however, so don't shun me at the IABC Conference receptions or the Canadian party.

Re. Bush: This is one secret I wish you'd kept. (No I don't.)

Tom, I'll drink for us both in N.O., but I hope you'll pay for your share.

I forgot two:

• I'm the strong and silent type--except I can't stand for anyone not to know it.

• I have a Walter Mitty complex--actually, a Walter Hagen complex--that causes me, while walking down Michigan Avenue, to give furtive little waves of acknowledgement for the crowds that are applauding my victory at the Master's.

Murr -- you stole my dream, man. Except I'm not walking down Michigan Ave.

David, none of this will be made public, right?

--I voted like Tom. I'm a conservative by reasoning and vote Republican, usually, but one candidate at a time, not en masse. If Joe Lieberman ran for president, I'd work my ass off for him for free.

--I get more emotional about the abuse of animals than the abuse of small children....

--...but I'm leery of emotional stuff in general. Appeal to my emotions and you'll just make me suspicious. Grab my mind and I'm yours, baby.

--I probably don't have a novel in me. Or a screenplay. Shit and double shit.

--But, like David, I adore my own writing. Sometimes, when I read it, I shake my head and say to myself, "How the hell did she DO that?"

When I was in graduate school a professor tried to get inside everyone's head by asking us to write some personal shit in class, and then turn it in (I think she was just unprepared. So I began what I call "Paradoxes in My Life," which is half truth half bullshit, and you can figure out which is which:

- I've been to the finest ski resorts in the Swiss Alps and the Colorado Rockies, but I've never been stupid enough to put on a pair of skis.

- I would rather shoo a fly out the window than needlessly bring about its demise at the end of a flyswat, but I've also been known to let my '57 DeSoto swerve off the side of the road in order to squash an utterly useless cat.

- I enjoy watching refined young ballerinas dance Swan Lake, and I enjoy watching voluptuous young sluts dancing half naked in a topless bar.

OK, that's enough...

Will

Will, I believe numbers one and three. Right?

Jane, Republican I get, conservative I get, but ... Bush? My 84-year-old Dad's presidential voting history:

Dewey
Ike
Ike
Nixon
Goldwater
Nixon
Nixon
Ford
Reagan
Reagan
Bush, Sr.
Bush, Sr.
Dole
W.
John Kerry

I mean, I'm a CUBS fan and I'm not THAT loyal!

DISCLAIMER: I was young and crazy when I owned that piece-o-shit DeSoto.

I would never do that today, but the truth is I missed that damn cat and almost flipped the car.

Will

David,
I still pay for my share of rounds. I'll prove it to you in New Orleans and on the golf course in September.

Jane, I love you. And you Tom. Don't know if I'd vote for him again but did twice. And I do think the other side is convinced that theirs is and always has been the only and obvious way to think about things. My dream ticket is Lieberman-McCain or McCain-Lieberman because both men say what they believe whether their party agrees or not.

I also have a novel half-finished started a decade ago before kids and before the professional workload went from crazy to stupid crazy and the house went from townhouse to single family house. It's been a New Year's Resolution to finish every year since 1998.

I shot a totally harmless house wren with a bb gun when I was younger under the pretense that it was nesting in the cinder block near the window outside my bedroom and waking me up every morning, but really it was just to prove to my buddies what a man I am. Still haunts me that I killed her and sentenced the chicks to death for no real reason. Won't stop me from going elk hunting in Idaho in October though.

I am a writer who doesn't write. I'm too lazy. I'm a hell of an editor, though. Much easier.

I talk too much.

I drink too much, but that won't stop me from joining David and Tom at the bar in New Orleans, if they'll have me and won't mind that I talk too much!

Michael--

If you're with me and Keefe, you won't talk too much.

David

Also, Michael--in N.O., remind me to tell you about the time I shot a sick Canada goose to put it out of its misery ... but couldn't look, so I missed its small head and hit its big ass and emptied my rifle into the dirt as it jerked squawked about hideously.

Michael,

Looking forward to sitting with you, David and anyone else who wants to try to get a word in edge-wise.

Speaking about killing defenseless animals, I still go after ground squirrels who make the mistake of digging large holes in my Scotts-fertilizer-perfect lawn. We also have a ton of rabbits eating every piece of vegetation within their reach, but they're too cute to mess with (my dog disagrees, but I keep him on a leash).

Michael - just for the record, I believe that everyone is entitled to not only have, but to voice their opinion whether I agree or not - that's what makes your country and mine fortunate (and relatively rare) places to live. How will we make progress if we don't at least hear each other's perspectives?

Also, I agree with you that a McCain/Lieberman ticket would have some real opportunity to do some good for exactly the reason you state.

Hey, I believe that too, Kristen. Hope you're joining us in New Orleans--you can buy the first round, and we'll toast a McCain/Lieberman ticket. (Followed by toasts of every other possible combination of political tickets.)

Lieberman and McCain both voted FOR cloture of the immigration reform bill today. Now I have no one!

Tom - unfortunately for me I work for a "highly revenue-efficient" organization which is currently undergoing "cost reduction restructuring" and can't pay for me to go.

Since I'm not in a position to self-fund the trip and the conference, I'm afraid you'll have to toast without me! Enjoy though!

Jane--

Read Barack Obama's book--or any of his writing--and see if you don't conclude that he (despite his slightly annoying manner in these recent debates) ought not be the Writer's Candidate.

He's the best writer since Lincoln to run for president. If you've lost your love for Lieberman and McCain and you don't know who to vote for, vote for Obama, the Write Winger.

David

Kristen,

God bless you and many more like you and I. As you won't be in New Orleans, Tom and I will raise a toast in your honor!

And, for the record, I recognize there are plenty on the conservative side who display that egocentricity. How many times have you heard (here in the States, anyway) politicians, candidate and otherwise, say "The American people want for us to win this war" or "The American people believe we have to do something about global warming". As if there's not a single American who wants us out of the war or who doesn't believe global warming is anything more than the natural climatory cycle of a planet. So my comment above comes with a caveat.

And Bush stole the election through the Supreme Court, except that Gore's team actually brought it to the courts and had they won would have considered it a brilliant political maneuver. And the Republicans are crying over the Democrats not allowing them into committee and debate on key issues so they can ramrod Democratic bills through, forgetting they did the same thing after they won with the Contract with America. And on it goes ever thus...

I would sit with you and debate over drinks any day, Kristen! I have no doubt I'd learn a thing or two! Perhaps another conference!

Kristen: I won't be there either because I too, "work for a 'highly revenue-efficient' organization which is currently undergoing 'cost reduction restructuring' and can't pay for me to go" (i.e., I'm self-employed).

David: I'll read Obama, only on your recommendation--but are you sure he really wrote it? Do any of these guys write their own books?

Hey, I just experienced the downside of transparent communication: it can sting like the devil! When I tried to send my most recent comment, here's what the Ragan computer sent me:

"Too many comments have been submitted from you in a short period of time. Please try again in a short while."

Ouch! And yet, thrillingly clear.

Yes, Obama wrote it, Jane. He is a fine writer.