So this week my niece—the one I've referred to here, who I once talked out of majoring in PR and studying English instead and she went on to become a bigwig Hollywood studio marketing kingpin—wrote me an e-mail the other night.
She called in a chit—she's read the screenplays of several of my friends—and she asked me to point her to "funny and useful 'fluff'" for her company's new employee newsletter. The "coordinator" of the newsletter—I bet he majored in PR—hasn't been good at finding the fluff.
"Why are you trying to find this crap?" I replied. "Do you seriously think employees of your motion picture company are waiting around to read amusing stuff in the employee newsletter? They read it for news about the organization. Not Leno’s bad headlines or Letterman’s Top 10 list!"
I went on for about 500 more words before telling her, "If you can demonstrate a need for giving employees this kind of crap, I’ll give you the info you need .... But not until!"
She came back:
"Point taken. Fuck it. I will tell the C.O.O. that I consulted an expert on the subject. We are working overtime right now to raise company morale, so this came from a good place. But you’re right, this is not the way. The newsletter itself is enough."
Now let us pray ...
Comments (9)
I wish every one of us had an Uncle David for those times when we need to be hit upside the head with a green two-by.
Posted by Jane Greer | October 12, 2007 2:37 PM
Posted on October 12, 2007 14:37
A curmudgeonly, cranky, crazy Uncle David...
Posted by Robert J Holland, ABC | October 12, 2007 4:22 PM
Posted on October 12, 2007 16:22
Hey, a little fluff now and then ain't such a bad thing. A good employee publication should have hard news as well as lighter fare. In a recent employee readership survey of a publication I helped launch -- and in focus groups to supplement the survey -- employees said they liked the newsletter a lot, but when asked how it could be improved, they told us they would like maybe a puzzle or a crossword, or something lighthearted and fun, in each issue. For the small amount of space this kind of thing takes up, I think it's worthwhile.
Posted by Ron Shewchuk | October 12, 2007 4:49 PM
Posted on October 12, 2007 16:49
What Jane said. Amen.
Posted by Amy | October 12, 2007 9:05 PM
Posted on October 12, 2007 21:05
I just realized how fucking boring my last post was. No readers of this blog deserve such grandfatherly schmaltz. I wish I were trying to quit smoking so I could have that David Murray edge! I promise I'll try to be more of an asshole in the future.
Posted by Ron Shewchuk | October 13, 2007 12:48 AM
Posted on October 13, 2007 00:48
Aw, Ron, we all inadvertently slip over to the dark side now and then. We know you're a Murray-league asshole at heart, so we didn't take offense at your grandfatherly post. :-)
Love, Jane
Posted by Jane Greer | October 13, 2007 8:02 AM
Posted on October 13, 2007 08:02
So...Uncle David...can you email MY boss (and his boss) and tell them that employees don't believe smaltzy BS, platitudes, and "synergies" in newsletters and intranets, when colleagues are being "re-structured" every 15 minutes and those "lucky" suckers left behind are getting the "exiting employees" work on top of their own??? Oh, and while you're at it, could you ask them to give me a raise?? Not that I'm bitter, or anything.
Thanks Uncle David! See you at the next family re-union!
Posted by Kristen | October 13, 2007 5:29 PM
Posted on October 13, 2007 17:29
I come back from a weekend in Iowa with the in-laws to this hilarious conversation. You people are wonderful freaks.
Posted by David Murray | October 15, 2007 6:17 AM
Posted on October 15, 2007 06:17
Hey, maybe this kind of stuff would win employee attention for your pub!
"The truth is, all of us in executive management are interested only in making our numbers so we can collect our bonuses. Of course, we pay you middle managers and rank and file types market rate for your work, so you should be happy. And it's not OUR fault if the market for our jobs is hotter than for yours! So, just suck it up and do your work -- we'll do ours -- and we promise to dispense with "employee engagement surveys" and other nonsense that insults your intelligence and spins the truth of our motivations."
Whaddya think?
Posted by Sean Williams | October 18, 2007 12:31 PM
Posted on October 18, 2007 12:31