Got an e-mail yesterday, subject line, "An Open Letter from the CEO."
I had to open it to make sure it wasn't from Mark Ragan. It wasn't. It was from Leslie Dickson, the CEO of some outfit called VoicePro®.
I started to read it:
"As I reflect back on 2007, I am continuously awed by the challenges our clients face on a daily basis. For example, being constantly expected to do more and more and more with less and less and less."
Is Christmas coming, or the Apocalypse?
"Never-ending cuts to staffing, fewer financial resources, and more importantly less time to get it all done. The stress levels are at an all-time high and the confidence levels seem to be at an all-time low. But still, everyone carries on with the business of the day."
In other words, the band plays on. What kind of cheerful holiday message is this?
"We at VoicePro® are grateful to have been able to work with you this year to help build your strengths and maximize your efforts, while giving you options to minimize any weaknesses. We are dedicated to all of you and will continue to help you succeed and prosper."
Succeed and prosper? Weren't we just talking about dwindling resources and plummeting confidence?
"And, I want to personally take this opportunity to thank you for helping support my busines. It is through clients that we at VoicePro® grow and learn."
(CEOs are forever talking about "taking this opportunity to" thank people, aren't they? Just hurry up and thank them!)
"I am excited about 2008, and look forward to some new and significant offerings for you, our clients and friends, to try out. We will be launching some initiatives that will provide additional help for you to deal with the 'lack of time' issue that just will not go away soon. We will also be giving you additional tools to be successful in your work lives, as well as in your daily lives. We want to help you show the world that you have important things to say."
I'm still wondering what this company does, and for whom, and why I got this letter. They're certainly not maximizing my efforts and minimizing my weaknesses, though come to think of it they might be secretly doing the opposite.
"So, here's to strength, confidence, authenticity and fun for the coming year!"
Oh boy: You know when CEOs are writing about it in their annual holiday letter, the short-lived "authenticity movement" has come to a premature and unhappy end.
You heard it here first.
Comments (3)
David,
About halfway through your post, I had an epiphany. If VoicePro is one of those firms that sells voice mail technology, Dickson's customers' "Never-ending cuts to staffing, fewer financial resources, and more importantly less time to get it all done" is a huge opportunity for VoicePro to sell more voice mail crap. In other words, what he paints as a negative is a potential boon for him. But if I figured that out halfway through it, how transparent does that make Dickson's message?
- For David, press 1
- For Mark, press 2
- For Steve, shut up and sit in the corner.
- All others, press zero.
Will
Posted by Will Daniel | December 19, 2007 9:29 AM
Posted on December 19, 2007 09:29
Will, you might be onto something. From their Web site .... these guys put the phony in telephony.
The VOICEPRO Advantage
Our philosophy of developing innovative and reliable telephony solutions that adds real value to businesses today and in the future;
Our experience and knowledge of Converged Communications and the integration of IP networks with legacy systems;
Our expertise with the design and deployment of sophisticated applications such as conferencing and collaboration, contact center, messaging, speech and fax;
Our established reputation for quality products, services and support;
Our professional and experienced manufacturer certified employees who value our customers.
We partner closely with you to help your company design, integrate and manage a telecommunications system that will improve your business efficiency, drive employee productivity and improve overall performance
Posted by David Murray | December 19, 2007 10:02 AM
Posted on December 19, 2007 10:02
You're not aware of being a VoicePro customer, but I asked myself what I would feel like receiving this email if I KNEW I were a customer.
The answer? "Irritated."
WHO CARES whether a faceless exec providing an invisible service is grateful? If you're going to litter my inbox, at least include a gift.
And, "It is through clients that we at VoicePro grow and learn"? Methinks I smell a copywriter on fruitcake. Companies are in business to make money--that's the "grow" part. "Learning" is just a means to that end. No company is in business to learn. Give me a big fat Yuletide break.
Posted by Jane Greer | December 19, 2007 10:29 AM
Posted on December 19, 2007 10:29