An entrpreneur friend of mine shook his head the other day as we discussed the admittedly-not-man-bites-dog case of a Cook County government worker doing a half-assed job.
"It takes just as much effort to get out of doing work as it does to just do the work," said my pal. "So why not just do the work and get some satisfaction too?"
Government workers aren't the only people who ought to be forced to answer that question, if only for themselves. This time of year, especially, we see the emergence of the Corporate Clock & Calendar Watcher, deeply engaged in everything but the work itself.
Signs of the CC&CW:
• He starts telling you in e-mails to have a "happy holiday" or a "great holiday vacation" weeks before the holiday. (Just as he has been telling you all year, starting on Wednesday, to have a "fantastic weekend.")
• With predictible regularity and all possible haste, she moves every work conversation from work stuff to personal stuff—kids, sports, what you did last weekend—which serves the dual purpose of getting you to stop talking about boring work stuff, and reminding you (especially if you're the boss) what's really important.
• He's been organizing the office betting pools for March Madness since before it was called "March Madness."
• She never misses a meeting, even those she's told are optional. She also bitches about how many meetings there are, but if she were ever excused from one, would then bitch about being out of the loop.
I'm going to come up far short of suggesting that these dead-wooders be cut loose. I happen to believe every organization needs a certain percentage of semi-engaged workers just like every human body needs some fat, every brick wall needs some grout.
I chortle at the notion of the poor CEO who thinks he wants all his employees champing at the bit, but who would commit suicide if he had to deal with all those go-getters going off in all those different directions. I also agree with Ragan's late founder Larry Ragan, who once declared that to be "dedicated" to some jobs—that was the term for "engaged" 30 years ago—was to be certifiably insane.
I don't envision a society where every last laborer is whistling while he or she works. Hell, I don't pretend to always whistle while I work. At this very moment I'm having a fierce internal debate about whether to pitch a horribly ambitious (and horribly timely) magazine story, or: "Honey, I bet they have egg nog at the store by now. Let's get a gallon ...."
So it's a complicated subject. Still, I do delight in identifying the chronic CC&CWers among my business correspondents, especially this time of year when all of us are having that feeling a bearlike urge to shut things down and hibernate for the winter.
What are your favorite Signs of the CC&CW, in others (or in you)?
Comments (9)
Spending inordinate amounts of time decorating for holidays is a big clue. Actually, normal decoration in an office or cube is a dead giveaway, too. I'm not saying things have to look institutional. I'm just saying that there seems to be inverse relationship between the number of Beanie Babies on the credenza and the amount of meaningful work being done.
Posted by Jane Greer | December 3, 2007 10:23 AM
Posted on December 3, 2007 10:23
When your location has 2,500 PCs and the IT folks left the Microsoft games out of their custom installations, and yet a handful of clever users are playing solitaire, you know those folks are CC&CW. They are the ones who know they can simply bring the file sol.exe from their home computer and play it on their work system. The IT department should hire them!
Will
Posted by Will Daniel | December 3, 2007 10:50 AM
Posted on December 3, 2007 10:50
How about the folks who are always bringing in food so the whole office will come over and chat all day.
Posted by David Murray | December 3, 2007 11:36 AM
Posted on December 3, 2007 11:36
I'm guessing a cardboard cut-out of yourself is a dead giveaway. On to plan B...
Posted by Eileen | December 3, 2007 11:53 AM
Posted on December 3, 2007 11:53
She's been working at the office 15 years and doesn't know the alarm code—or that there's even an alarm.
Posted by david Murray | December 3, 2007 12:31 PM
Posted on December 3, 2007 12:31
The organizer of the "holiday group lunch" or the "holiday potluck"...every Friday.
There is also the one who talks on her cell phone all day while attending her University of Phoenix online classes.
Posted by Susan Cellura | December 3, 2007 1:28 PM
Posted on December 3, 2007 13:28
The one who's asking you Dec. 3 if you have all your shopping done.
Posted by David Murray | December 3, 2007 5:26 PM
Posted on December 3, 2007 17:26
How about that woman who starts wearing those obnoxious "festive sweaters" (you know reindeers, santas and Christmas trees) and earrings that are teeny-tiny Christmas ornaments (and sometimes even light up) around about November 25th ("Its a month today till Christmas you know!")
Gag me!
Posted by Kristen | December 3, 2007 6:43 PM
Posted on December 3, 2007 18:43
A CC&CW has an immaculate desk. The rest of us don't have time to carefully file everything constantly, and have too many things landing on our desks (usually with a smirky "wumpf") to keep them immaculate. Think Lucy and Ethel and the chocolate factory.
Posted by Diane | December 6, 2007 9:43 AM
Posted on December 6, 2007 09:43