David, the problem is you're just a big wuss.

And, by the way, who knows the origin of "wuss" as used in modern vernacular? (Trivia du jour)

Will

I'll look that up, Will. As soon as I stop crying.

Hey, that's no fair! Anybody can look it up. So I just did, and the definitions are all over the place, but not the origins. I think I know the answer. (Hint) Anyone from New York should know this.

Will

David, not to monopolize the posting here today, but if you really are as you say, don't even think about watching the film, "We Are ... Marshall." I'm a Marshall grad, my daughter went to school there, and my wife lived across the street from one of the players who was killed in the plane crash, etc., etc. -- it's a true story that is very close to my whole family. My daughter started crying in the opening scene and never stopped. Very poignant -- very moving. And this was a shameless plug for the movie, which is currently leading the voting for ESPN's best football movie of all time. I confess -- there was one scene in the film that almost turned me into a wuss like you.

Will

David -- it gets worse. When you're in your 50s, it's about four times a day.

David -- it gets worse. When you're in your 50s, it's about four times a day.

Why do you think this is? I have noticed an up-tick since Scout arrived four years ago, but don't quite make the correlation ....

And of course the other question: What does crying represent? Does crying MEAN feeling? Or does it just mean LEAKING?

I sent a nasty e-mail to a neighbor who richly deserved it and she wrote back saying my words "had made me cry at my desk this morning."

And I thought: How is that my problem?

And yet we make a big huge deal out of crying: "Oh my God, I couldn't stop crying." "He didn't even cry at his own father's funeral." "Such-and-such always makes me cry."

Clearly I need help on this subject. In fact, I'm crying out for it.

Although I don't have my own kids, I have nieces, upon whom the sun rises and sets for me, and after they arrived I found myself crying for all kinds of idiotic reasons like: the first time I held my first niece at the ripe old age of 4 weeks old, she looked up at me and did a big long string of those "baby mumbles" sounds as I told her how much Auntie loved her. My sister said: "Wow, those are the first real noises she's made for anyone!" and of course I immediately started to bawl like I was the baby!

Then of course there is the annual phone call on my birthday when the girls sing Happy Birthday to Auntie, (at the top of their voices and badly off-key) and I'm still sniffling about two hours afterwards.

I think that once there are people in your world who are more important to you than you, the way you look at the world, and therefore the list of touching and tear-duct inducing things becomes much more lengthy. We can be tough about our own junk, but put a little person you love into the equations and we're toast!

OK, David, now I have to pile on. PISSING is leaking. Crying is what girls do. [grin]

Of course, you know I'm just baiting you -- we all have emotions and we macho guys have been conditioned to store them someplace where they won't leak. Or is it really conditioning? Is it nature or nurture?

This is way too deep for a hump day. Haiku anyone?

Will

I'm 42 and yep, I cry more than did before. And it's really a nice cleansing thing sometimes. For some reason, animals make me cry more than anything. Well, that and reading the news, but that's a different kind of crying.

David, I think you'll also find there's a direct correlation with your ability to cry more often and your love of country music. It's all about developing a deep appreciation for what really matters in life, and an acknowledgment that love ain't perfect and all good things come to an end.

As Hank sang,

Hear the lonesome whiperwill
He sounds too blue to fly
The midnight train is whining low
Im so lonesome I could cry

Ive never seen a night so long
When time goes crawling by
The moon just went behind a cloud
To hide its face and cry

Did you ever see a robin weep
When leaves begin to die
That means hes lost the will to live
Im so lonesome I could cry

The silence of a falling star
Lights up a purple sky
And as I wonder where you are
Im so lonesome I could cry

Ron - please tell me you googled those lyrics and not that you were able to whip them off verbatim like that from memory?!

If you did that from memory - THAT would make ME cry!

Thanks, Ron -- that beats haiku any day!

Will

No, Kristen, I googled them, although I know and love the song. I love the internet.

Well, the horrific misspelling of whippoorwill kind of gives the source away.

Do I cry more? I have more to cry about. But I think I don't cry as much because adult professionals aren't supposed to cry, even when their heart is breaking.

And of course it was you, Ron Shewchuk, who once bathed me in wine in my own house and then played this Charlie Rich song on my stereo:

Feel Like Going Home
(Charlie Rich)

Lord I feel like going home
I tried and I failed and I'm tired and weary
Everything I ever done was wrong
And I feel like going home

Lord I tried to see it through
But it was too much for me
And now I'm coming home to you
And I feel like going home

Cloudy skies are rolling in
And not a friend around to help me
From all the places I have been
And I feel like going home

Lord I feel like going home
I tried and I failed and I'm tired and weary
Everything I ever done was wrong
And I feel like going home

***

Diane, I don't need to worry about being a professional. Here at Murray's Freelance Writing, it is OK to cry.

One of the all-time great hurtin' songs, but the Silver Fox hisself. They can play that one at my funeral. After they all dance a few jigs.

Okay, while we're on this topic, what are the saddest songs ever? In addition to the above, I suggest the following:

The Band Played Waltzing Matilda - Eric Bogle

Where've You Been - Kathy Mattea

Right there, you see! I misted up, teared up, puddled up and choked up at the very sight of the words (and their sound in my head), "The Band Played Waltzing Matilda."

"I never knew there was worse things than dyin' ...."

I am a big bowl of mush to an ever-increasing degree. Case in point: I wrote a song called "The Love That Never Ends" about my parents on the occasion of their 40th anniversary. That was 16 years ago. I had no trouble singing it then, but as the years go by I find it more and more difficult to get through it without choking up.

I think that as we get older, we
a. have more to care about and
b. we appreciate those people/things more than we might have at a younger age and
c. we sense our own mortality (and that of those we love) to an ever-greater degree and
d. we are more aware of the woes of the world, which seem always to be getting worse.

Or, as Diane said much more succinctly, we have more to cry about.

Saddest songs ever? Man, that's a tough one, but I recall drivin' and cryin' while listening to Bonnie Raitt sing "I Can't Make You Love Me." That one gets me every time.

Well put, Greg. But how about those anniversary lyrics? I'm sure we could all use a good cry.

Meanwhile, has this Willie Nelson jobber ever made your roof leak?

The postman delivered
A "past due" bill notice
The alarm clock rang two hours late
The garbage man left all the trash
On the sidewalk
And the hinges fell off of the gate
And this morning at breakfast
I spilled all the coffee
And I opened the door on my knee
But the last thing I needed
The first thing this morning
Was to have you walk out on me
Last night you came home late
And I knew you'd been drinking
By that old mellow look on your face
I thought, "It don't matter
'Cause it's the holiday season"
And you fill such a big empty space
But then I laid down beside you
And I wanted your lovin'
Because your love makes my life complete
But the last thing I needed
The first thing this morning
Was to have you walk out on me
So excuse me for lookin'
Like my world just ended
And excuse me for lookin'
Like I just lost my best friend
And excuse me for livin'
And being forgiving
So just go on if you want to be free
But the last thing I needed
The first thing this morning
Was to have you walk out on me

Then there's this one, which I wrote in an effort to capture how I imagined my brother felt as his first marriage was falling apart. Happy to say his second marriage is working out just fine!

WHEN LOVE FADES AWAY

The child sits alone once again tonight;
His old broken toys give him no delight.
His daddy left home just before he turned one;
Now mom sleeps around and comes home with the sun.
He's only three, and he can't understand
Why mommy treats him this way,
So he sits in the corner, wiping tears with his hand --
Lord, it's so sad when love fades away.

The wind cuts like a sickle through the old lady's coat.
She clutches it tighter around her throat;
The temperature's dropping, but she won't go inside --
The shelter's not safe, and she still has her pride.
She once had a home and comforts to spare,
But now that's a far distant day.
Now she just has her memories, and her family don't care --
Lord it's so sad when love fades away.

Your beautiful face bears a smile divine.
I once was yours, you once were mine,
But all I've got left now is this picture frame
And a gun in my hand, and it's a damn dirty shame.
We had the brightest of futures, you and I,
But there's only darkness today.
And my finger's on the trigger of the final goodbye --
Lord, it's so sad when love fades away.

Ooof. Thanks for sharing that, Greg.

For you, David, OK. But I'll have to have some tissues handy, as I can't seem to muster any degree of professional detachment any more where this one's concerned.

THE LOVE THAT NEVER ENDS

Forty years ago, my mother and my father wed.
The love they share has strengthened as away the years have sped,
And now this love we celebrate as family and friends;
We've all been touched in some way by the love that never ends.

They brought my brother Doug into this world in '55;
Then came Greg and Chris, with Ken the last one to arrive.
With four young hellions on the loose, their home was filled with noise;
It seems the love that never ends produces only boys.

Mom and Dad, I love you; mere words cannot convey
All the happiness that's in my heart on your anniversary day.

My mother's always cheerful; I don't know how she found relief
From the countless times and endless ways her boys would cause her grief,
But through every tribulation, somehow she did endure.
For every ill, the love that never ends provides a cure.

My father's not the kind of man who stands out in a crowd,
And it's only when he's singing in the choir that he gets loud,
But I love his sense of humor and his calm and gentle way,
And the love that never ends he and my mother share today.

Mom and Dad, I love you; mere words cannot convey
All the happiness that's in my heart on your anniversary day.

When we were growing up, my parents always did provide
All the love and care we needed, when we laughed and when we cried.
Now I'm not naive enough to think they'd never disagree,
But the love that never ends is all that's in my memory.

I'm 34 years old now, with a wife and family,
And I try to share with them the love my parents gave to me.
Success is measured not by wealth or following of trends;
I've made it to the top -- I've known the love that never ends.

Mom and Dad, I love you; mere words cannot convey
All the happiness that's in my heart on your anniversary day.
Mom and Dad, we love you much more than words can say;
Let there be happiness within your hearts on your anniversary day.

Whew! Man, it's a good thing everybody else in the office has left already.

Here's my vote for saddest song (although I like the Bonnie Raitt tune too) -- Madame George by Van Morrison

Down on cyprus avenue
With a childlike vision leaping into view
Clicking, clacking of the high heeled shoe
Ford & fitzroy, madame george
Marching with the soldier boy behind
Hes much older with hat on drinking wine
And that smell of sweet perfume comes drifting through
The cool night air like shalimar
And outside theyre making all the stops
The kids out in the street collecting bottle-tops
Gone for cigarettes and matches in the shops
Happy taken madame george
Thats when you fall
Whoa, thats when you fall
Yeah, thats when you fall
When you fall into a trance
A sitting on a sofa playing games of chance
With your folded arms and history books you glance
Into the eyes of madame george
And you think you found the bag
Youre getting weaker and your knees begin to sag
In the corner playing dominoes in drag
The one and only madame george
And then from outside the frosty window raps
She jumps up and says lord have mercy I think its the cops
And immediately drops everything she gots
Down into the street below
And you know you gotta go
On that train from dublin up to sandy row
Throwing pennies at the bridges down below
And the rain, hail, sleet, and snow
Say goodbye to madame george
Dry your eye for madame george
Wonder why for madame george
And as you leave, the room is filled with music, laughing, music,
Dancing, music all around the room
And all the little boys come around, walking away from it all
So cold
And as youre about to leave
She jumps up and says hey love, you forgot your gloves
And the gloves to love to love the gloves...
To say goodbye to madame george
Dry your eye for madame george
Wonder why for madame george
Dry your eyes for madame george
Say goodbye in the wind and the rain on the back street
In the backstreet, in the back street
Say goodbye to madame george
In the backstreet, in the back street, in the back street
Down home, down home in the back street
Gotta go
Say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Dry your eye your eye your eye your eye your eye...
Say goodbye to madame george
And the loves to love to love the love
Say goodbye
Oooooo
Mmmmmmm
Say goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye to madame george
Dry your eye for madame george
Wonder why for madame george
The loves to love the loves to love the loves to love...
Say goodbye, goodbye
Get on the train
Get on the train, the train, the train...
This is the train, this is the train...
Whoa, say goodbye, goodbye....
Get on the train, get on the train...

Jim Steinman lyrics sung by Meat Loaf. Love and the inevitable loss. Hand me the Kleenex (R).

OBJECTS IN THE REAR VIEW MIRROR MAY APPEAR CLOSER THAN THEY ARE

"There was a beauty living on the edge of town
She always put the top up and the hammer down
And she taught me everything I'll ever know
About the mystery and the muscle of love

"The stars would glimmer and the moon would glow
I'm in the back seat with my Julie like a Romeo
And the signs along the highway all said, "Caution! Kids At Play!"

"Those were the rites of spring and we did everything
There was salvation every night
We got our dreams reborn and our upholstery torn
But everything we tried was right

"She used her body just like a bandage
She used my body just like a wound
I'll probably never know where she disappeared
But I can see her rising up out of the back seat now
Just like an angel rising up on a tomb

"And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are...."

Well, I just cried for the umpteenth time in the last year, and it had nothing to do with anything here. So there.

It's all right with us.

It's all right with us.

Here are the "I Can't Make You Love Me" lyrics for those who haven't cried enough yet. I think these are all losing a little something without the music, but here goes:

Turn down the lights;
Turn down the bed.
Turn down these voices
Inside my head.

Lay down with me;
Tell me no lies.
Just hold me close;
Don't patronize.

Don't patronize me.

[Chorus:]
'Cuz I can't make you love me
If you don't.
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't.
Here in the dark
In these final hours,
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power;
But you won't.
No, you won't.
'Cuz I can't make you love me
If you don't.

I'll close my eyes,
Then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're holding me.

Morning will come,
And I'll do what's right;
Just give me till then
To give up this fight.

And I will give up this fight.

[Chorus]

Okay, I'll jump on this lyrics bandwagon.

Oh Bridgit O’Malley, you left my heart shaken
With a hopeless desolation, I’d have you to know
It’s the wonders of admiration your quiet face has taken
And your beauty will haunt me wherever I go.

The white moon above the pale sands, the pale stars above the thorn tree
Are cold beside my darling, but no purer than she
I gaze upon the cold moon till the stars drown in the warm sea
And the bright eyes of my darling are never on me.

My Sunday it is weary, my Sunday it is grey now
My heart is a cold thing, my heart is a stone
All joy is dead within me, my life has gone away now
For another has taken my love for his own.

The day it is approaching when we were to be married
And it’s rather I would die than live only to grieve
Oh meet me, my Darling, e’er the sun sets o’er the barley
And I’ll meet you there on the road to Drumslieve.

Oh Bridgit O’Malley, you’ve left my heart shaken
With a hopeless desolation, I’d have you to know
It’s the wonders of admiration your quiet face has taken
And your beauty will haunt me wherever I go.

Not sure if it's just the lyrics...or the combination of that with the melody, but the one that gets me of late is Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah." I've actually been listening to it over and over quite obsessively in the last few weeks:

Well baby I've been here before
I know this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Well maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who'd outdrew ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

So many things to respond to here. Where to start? Here goes: 1) David, if you want to see outright sobbing (yours or mine) stay up late and watch one of those Christian Children's Fund infomercials. Nothing like a full half-our or so of watching starving children to break your heart and make you cry so hard you wake up your own children. 2) Country music makes me cry, too. Because I can't stand it. Sorry. I just can't. Go ahead and get mad at me, but I bet I'll have fellow opera fan Bill Sweetland on my side (and you don't want to piss him off, do you)? 3) Now you may call me trite and tasteless, but I cry every time I read Fern Hill by Dylan Thomas or watch ET with my kids. Please pass the tissues...

OMG Amy! Did you HAVE to bring up ET?! Good Lord!!! I sob like an IDIOT EVERY SINGLE TIME I watch that movie (which is a lot because I own the anniversary DVD) - especially at the end when ET says to Eliot: "Come" and Eliot responds (with tears rolling down his cute chubby face): "Stay"

Okay, I'm bawling just WRITING about that scene. Thanks A LOT Amy!!!! Now I need to go blow my nose.

Sheesh!!!

P.S. David - can we PLEASE move on to something a little more upbeat now that we're all ready to curl up in the friggin' fetal position??

I do love the Shades of Gray crew.