Who to insult: Wal-Mart, or Canada?
May I suggest: Canada

In my post yesterday, I took a swipe at Wal-Mart and Canada both.

It's safer to insult Canada than it is to insult Wal-Mart.

In fact, insulting Canada is one of the safest things anyone can do.

Insulting Wal-Mart, on the other hand, might get you a voice mail like this one, received by Austin American-Statesman columnist John Kelso, who criticized the PR/advertising blitz the retailer recently launched to defend itself from Yankee newspaper columnists and Chicago-based speechwriting bloggers.

Apparently Kelso is, in fact, a Yankee. And he reports that he got this gem of a voice mail from a reader:

"Kelso, you're pitiful as a broke-(%^&*) dog sitting out in the middle of the street howlin'. Are you going to be a pro-left Yankee hemorrhoid? Are you ever gonna settle in? You know, a pro-left Yankee hemorrhoid. Those of us that was born here and raised in Texas, heh heh, that's what we think of you. You come down, but you'll never go back to (New) Hampshire on your own. Aw, that column about Wal-Mart. Yep, are you gonna be a South Austin Bubba, or are you gonna be one of those elitist snobs that lives in Hyde Park or Travis Heights?

"You sound like you're worshipping at the throne of 'Putz' Sulzberger in this damn thing here. What about if you were some poor single mother with three or four kids living in a trailer house? They don't shop at Williams-Sonoma and Saks, Bubba. You pitiful (%#&*$). You'd be funny if you weren't kinda dangerous. I hope those bikers out at Beverly's drag you out back and . . . throw you in the Dumpster."

You don't suppose those bikers out at Beverly's are into reading blogs, do you?