Do you coach other writers? Here's how not to do it

A freelance speechwriter pal forwarded to me an e-mail he got from an editor of a big-city guidebook to which he was going to contribute.

The editor was giving my man the guidance she gives all her contributors:

• Your text should inspire the reader and give useful information. Pin down the facts and present them clearly. All entries should be clear descriptions of what the places are, the atmosphere, the menu, the architecture, the type of clientele etc. The reader should not have to work hard to know what to expect.

• Keep to a concise style. Sentences should be fairly short and punchy without becoming staccato. Avoid overly complicated sentence structures, including the over-use of qualifying clauses at the start of sentences.

• The voice should also be knowledgeable and opinionated--though not heavy-handed--and text style clear and upbeat. …

• Don't get carried away with complicated metaphors at the expense of saying something useful to the readers. When in doubt, keep it simple, and vet text for vagueness, obtuseness and obscurity. Avoid descriptions/information and empty adjectives (eg fantastic, wonderful, infamous) that raise questions rather than answer the basics of what is it and what's it like? …

You mean, empty adjectives like "punchy" and "staccato" and "concise" and "fairly short" and "clear and upbeat" and "knowledgeable and opinionated--though not heavy-handed"?

My friend rewarded this editor for her rhetorical hypocrisy by gently pointing out in a return e-mail that "your guidelines suggest that you have a strong idea of what you don't want to do, but not what you do want to do."

He ran from this project without looking over his shoulder.

His pet peeve, and mine: Editors who use adjectives to tell us that they
want us to show, not tell.

Writers: What kinds of editors do you loathe?