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Spelling bees for grown-ups

CEO speech-preparation: As pointless as the National Spelling Bee?

Every year, the U.S. media goes nuts covering the highlights of the National Spelling Bee, and every year, Chicago Sun-Times columnist Neil Steinberg calls the event "child abuse." From this year's screed on the subject:

"Forcing children to memorize freakish words that no actual writer would use under any circumstances imaginable is a terrible travesty—why not encourage them to memorize the digits of pi instead and spew them back on demand? The process would hardly change. Yes, some children are gulled, and have a moment of pride and victory because of the bee. But a childhood is a terrible thing to waste …."

I agree with Steinberg, and the documentary Spellbound, about several kids preparing for the National Spelling Bee only reinforced my view.

You know what the whole farce reminds me of? Speechwriters pleading with their executives take time out of their schedule to rehearse a speech that the speechwriter didn't want to write, that the executive doesn't want to give, that the audience does not really want to hear, but that must come off smoothly, else everyone will be embarrassed.

Speechwriting and corporate rhetoric would be so much better if it was done only when people had something to say to people with something they needed to hear.

Alas, most speeches wind up as little more than spelling bees for grown-ups.

Comments (7)

rueben:

Speeches only given "when people had something to say to people with something they needed to hear" -- what a fascinating idea. It's hard to picture such a magical world, but I imagine it would also be a place where the speakers actually had the courage to say something with conviction and decisiveness. Sometimes maybe they would even say things that were unexepcted and bold, and instead of talking about "vision" they might even say something that was actually visionary...sigh...dare to dream, David, dare to dream...

David Murray:

It doesn't have to be "visionary." I'd settle for speakers occasionally talking about "what's actually on my mind" rather than "what will make me sound like some sort of thought leader."

rueben:

I totally agree -- too many speakers feel the need to talk about airy fairy concepts like "vision" rather than issues and topics of real substance and relevance.
But if they insist, as so many business and political leaders do, on talking about warm fuzzies like "vision" then I'd like to hear more of them demonstrate what that means. I'm tired of being told, as a member of the audience, that I (or the collective "we") need to have vision. Hello - you're the big cheese, how about you say something visionary so I'm more intrigued by your speech than by trying to find some cream on the table for my coffee.
Of course, most smart speakers will tell you that their inability to communicate their grand visions is largely the fault of their speechwriters, so I really can't win on this one.

Jennifer:

I am a two-time National Spelling Bee contestant...who grew up to be a speechwriter. Go figure.
I don't feel at all abused by my Bee years. I did it voluntarily (though I know a lot of kids are pushed very hard by their parents, I wasn't), and I enjoyed it. I grant you that many of the words I learned are not all that useful in the real world--but spelling was great for figuring out how words work, for learning prefixes and suffixes, for learning the mechanics of language. The writing equivalent of taking cars apart and putting them back together, and seeing if they run. I still use the knowledge I gained in that process.
I completely agree on "vision speeches" without detail--because a vision that doesn't include detail (or at least take it into account) is pointless, and a complete waste of time. You can't transform reality without understanding it, already!

David Murray:

But do you feel abused by your SPEECHWRITER years?

Thanks for your comment, Jennifer; I wasn't aware that the studying process helped contenstants understand the language systematically. That is, indeed, an important skill, especially if you're going to go to work in our business ...

Jennifer:

Hee. No, not abused, not most days.

Here's a question for speechwriters who go to speeches with The Boss: you arrive, and the people from the hosting organization are eager to meet you. Do you tell them what you do, and if not, what's your alibi? I was in this situation yesterday and was a little flummoxed by it. They are subject matter experts in whatever he's going to talk about (which you decidedly aren't); they assume that since you arrived with him, you must be important somehow or other; you want to be polite, but you're not the subject matter person they want to meet, and you know it; how do you explain yourself? It's one thing to introduce oneself as a speechwriter in a general situation (and I normally would)--but it seems QUITE another to introduce oneself as a speechwriter for The Boss, while you're with him, not five minutes before he speaks.

Any ideas?

David Murray:

Lots of speechwriters soften it to, "Oh, I help him with his speeches," or "I help him with his presentations."

But that's pretty transparent ....

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