Whenever a Louisiana-born friend of mine is feeling particularly overworked, he says he feels like “an octopus with the mange.”

Reading some of the on-line job descriptions for communicators these days, I wonder how many people in our profession feel the same way. Especially those who are trying to write.

For example, a Fortune 500 company, which shall be nameless here, recently advertised for a “Communications Specialist II.” The job description reads as follows:

“Provide strategic insight and creative input into internal and external communications strategies that respond to emerging issues, raise awareness of company initiatives and further company goals and objectives. Develop and implement communications strategies that support media spokespersons throughout the utility company; serving [sic] as company spokesperson for local issues with print and broadcast media. Develop and maintain relationships with key media contacts throughout the major media markets in the state. Monitor news media for emerging coverage and issues. Create and coordinate the design, writing and production of complex publication materials, employee communications and customer communications. Draft talking points, employee questions and answers, white papers, newsletter articles, speeches, scripts and news releases. Manage logistics for press conferences and other local events. Responsibilities include being available for off-hours events such as unplanned power outages, major storms, and major public relations events.”

The successful candidate is expected to have “significant experience as a writer with news media, public relations firm or corporation.” Further, the candidate “Must demonstrate strong oral and written communications skills, including the ability to develop speeches, marketing materials, news letters and business plans. Must have demonstrated the ability to work constructively with others toward common goals, a proactive approach to identifying communications opportunities and issues, solid time management skills, and the ability to manage crisis situations and think creatively.”

By the way, the salary for this job is between $45,200 and $67,800.

Obviously, this company needs someone with “strong written communications skills.” Note the grammatical howler in the first paragraph. But what is it likely to settle for?

Being a PR flack – which includes being a spokesperson, developing relations with the media, and managing press conferences and other events and otherwise dealing directly with corporate constituencies and the general public -- is a job in itself, requiring its own special skills. Being a writer is also a job in itself, requiring its own special skills. Because flacks tend to be extroverts and writers to be introverts, it is very rare for a single individual to be able to perform both these functions successfully – and certainly not for the salary that this company is offering for this job.

Reading this job description from a writer’s perspective, I wonder when the person who gets this position will have time to think – let alone to do the research, writing and careful editing that are essential for turning out high-quality written communications.

What will the company do? Very likely, it will hire one person who can perform the greatest number of these job functions with at least minimal competence. It will settle for mediocrity, and that is exactly what it will get.

But in the end, cutting corners may prove more expensive than hiring enough qualified specialists to perform all these communications functions properly.

A survey by Burson-Marsteller a few years ago revealed that nearly half a company’s reputation depends on the reputation of its CEO. If the company won’t pay for a full-time speechwriter, it should at least make sure that the CEO’s speeches and other messages are written by someone who is a full-time writer. Otherwise, his speeches are going to sound as if they were written by an octopus with the mange.