My last post on Henry VIII and popular culture reminded me of a hit tune from the early 1960s, sung by a British rock group called, for no particular reason, Herman’s Hermits. It is said to have been the fastest-selling song in history, although it is hard to see why. It was actually an updated version of a 1910 British music hall song.

The lyrics were imbecilic:

I'm Hen-er-y the eighth I am
Hen-er-y the eighth I am, I am.
I got married to the widow next door,
She's been married seven times before.
And every one was an Hen-er-y (Hen-er-y!),
She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam).
I'm her eighth old man, I'm Hen-er-y
Hen-er-y the eighth I am!

But the tune was one of those infectious little ditties such as advertisers love. Once you heard it, you could never quite manage to drive it out of your head. If you saw the 1990 movie, Ghost, you may remember the scene where a spectral Patrick Swayze pummels Whoppi Goldberg into submission just by singing the silly jingle over and over again.

Somewhere around 1965, Peter Noone, the leader of Herman’s Hermits, appeared on Danny Kaye’s TV variety show. I well remember how the manic Mr. Kaye welcomed his guest in costume as the original Henry VIII –- the costume having been stuffed with enough padding to make Macy’s Santa look anorexic by comparison.

Kaye then sang his own version of the popular hit which, if memory serves, went something like this:

I’m Hen-er-y the Eighth, I am,
Hen-er-y the Eighth I am, I am.
There were Hen-er-ys One through Eight,
Every one of them was overweight.
And every one was an Hen-er-y (Hen-er-y!),
There never was a Willie or a Sam (no Sam).
I’m the eighth fat king I’m Hen-er-y,
Hen-er-y the Eighth I am!

If it wasn’t historically accurate, Kaye’s parody was at least funnier than the original.