RSS
STORE
Forget Dante . . . there are really only two levels of hell
When you teach employee communication seminars for a living, as I do, you come to realize that there are two levels of Hell at most corporations.
There is the first level—which is what people are willing to talk about in the actual seminar, in front of their peers. Level One has to do with overblown approval processes, asinine middle managers, goose-stepping lawyers who thwart communications at every turn, designers who never read the text, and IT people who treat the intranet as their own personal playground.
And then there’s the second level of hell. This is the stuff people don’t talk about at the seminar, because they’re too embarrassed to bring it up, or they’re afraid nobody will believe them, or they have been too emotionally damaged by what happened to them to relive it in front of 60 other people.
I know about the existence of this second level of hell because I drink. And, after a seminar is over, I almost always try to round up a group of attendees to have drinks in the hotel bar.
And after that first martini or glass of wine, tongues start to loosen. The real stories start to come out. The Level Two stories . . . the ones I would have a hard time believing if the communicator wasn’t sitting right in front of me telling the story.
I recently finished the Washington DC and New York seminars . . . and heard some good Level Two stories from both. Check this space in the next couple of days, and I’ll share some of them with you. Here’s the first.
A large company was preparing to celebrate its 100th anniversary (I would tell you the name of the company, but I promised the communicator who told me this story after many drinks that I would keep it anonymous. But trust me: you’ve heard of this company).
The CEO of this organization decided to throw a massive party at corporate headquarters to celebrate the corporate centennial.
But . . . first he wanted to make sure employees would like that sort of thing. So he had the communications person send a company wide e-mail suggesting the idea of having a big celebration to gauge employee interest.
Well, the idea was a big hit. “The employees were really into the idea,” the communicator told me. “We got tons of e-mails back about what a great idea this was.”
The only problem? The CEO changed his mind. He decided he didn’t want to spend that much money on a party.
So he called the communicator in and told her . . . “never mind.”
The communicator, of course, was stuck. She told the CEO, “But all these employees were so enthusiastic about it, and now they’re all worked up. What am I supposed to tell them?”
“Tell them we canceled the event due to a lack of employee interest,” was the CEO’s response.
Welcome to Communication Hell, Level Two: Where the communication assignment is to tell thousands of employees who are enthusiastic about an event that the event has been canceled due to a lack of enthusiasm.
More Level Two stories to come . . . .
Subscribe to this blog's feed
Feels like Total Recall. Er, Philip K Dick?
Actually, with Steve's example it's a bit scary --- standing at the urinal...
Comments (5)
DATE: 10/29/2004 32:85:5P PM
I'm fortunate enough that at my office, a subsidiary of an East Coast "mother ship", the production of our local communication vehicles flies mostly under the radar, so I've never had to deal with the Hell to which you refer <knock on wood>.
I DID have something happen to me today, however, that made me thing of you, Steve, and all of the times that you've intoned us to never, repeat *NEVER* solicit employee anecdotes for publication in the company newsletter. I'm ashamed to admit...I do it anyway. I guess I wanted to believe that our employees were above going into some of the C.R.A.P. (and you'll see how apropos that acronym is here in a minute) you so often describe.
In response to the question "Describe the last - or best - funny occurrence or mishap you experienced while on vacation" (we're a travel company), I received the following response (from a member of the Human Resources team, no less! Ha!)
"Last Thanksgiving, we were flying back from California. [baby] was only 8 months old. She is a really good traveler, but she decided to do # 2 shortly after take-off. I could tell this was a big dirty diaper. I had no choice but to change diaper during the flight. We were on Southwest airlines and their bathroom does not have a changing table. I had to change her on the bathroom floor where the flight attendant laid some clean trash bags (I also used [baby's] changing pad). Since I was changing [baby] on the floor, the bathroom door was open. As I changed [baby's] diaper, I could hear someone, probably the flight attendant, spraying air freshener or perfume. As I was walked back to our seat, I can see passengers waiving their hand in front of their face. I quietly told my husband, "phewthat was a big one." I heard at least one "uh-huh" from the crowd."
Although another communicator with whom I shared this (and who rolled on the floor laughing) has assured me that bathroom humor is something of a guilty pleasure for most people, my own reaction was more along the lines of "Ewww".
I've never before found myself in the position of having to inform an employee that 'poo' is never an appropriate topic for publication. I've always just taken it on faith that there are some things *you just know*. Is it just me????
Posted by Angela Holton | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 11/01/2004 11:52:5P AM
HEY! Is that a shout-out in Ragan's "Feature of the Week" ("Is Your Publication a Poopy Diaper?")... or just a coincidence? Hoo-HA!
I would love to believe that my muse inspired you, Steve.
Posted by Angela Holton | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 11/01/2004 10:00:4P PM
Ha again!!! No, honest it's not. I wrote that about two weeks ago, for the CRAP Awards, about editors who run pages of baby photos.
BUT . . . it certainly is good timing!
Steve
Posted by steve | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 11/01/2004 20:65:2P PM
Rule #1 in surveying employees: Manage expectations. If you ask their input, you'd better be ready to do something with it.
Rule #1 in traveling with children: Never give your baby strained prunes before boarding aircraft. Rule #2: It doesn't matter; the baby will always poop at the worst time.
Posted by Robert J. Holland | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 11/01/2004 70:94:4A PM
HA!!!!!! Angela, for shame! You are bringing whole new meaning to the C.R.A.P. Awards!!!
I can't believe she was willing to share that story . . . but then again, I can't believe people who live with hundreds of hermit crabs and dozens of reptiles and hooded rats are willing to be profiled in the employee publication, either.
I guess everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame, at whatever cost!
Posted by steve | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30