On the road again . . .
Why you should always over-tip airport bartenders
I'm on the road again, teaching the Strategic Employee Communication Vehicles seminar in Atlanta, then heading to Portland, Maine and Columbus, Ohio to do in-house seminars.
Do you know what the worst part about traveling is? No, it's not that every trip is another chance to die in a flaming plane crash. No, it's not the completely incompetent airport 'security' people who I wouldn't trust to run the fry machine at Burger King. And no, it's not being so drunk when you get off the plane that you check into the wrong hotel and don't realize you're in the wrong hotel until the next morning, when you go down to teach a seminar that isn't there.
Okay, that last one comes close. That was a hell of a morning.
But no, the worst thing about business travel is the people I call the Airport Barflies. These people are usually salespeople. And they are usually drunk. And they are always LOUD. I mean, really loud. And they spend so much time in airport bars that they think they own them. (They don't. I own them. But I'm a quiet owner.)
Flying out of Chicago on Monday, there were a couple of Classic Barflies in the O'Hare airport bar. These two arrested development types were hitting on anything with long hair, harassing the bartender about making stronger drinks; and generally making a nuisance of themselves.
It was almost enough to make me have a fourth martini.
Then, when they were leaving, the one loud guy said to the bartender, in a voice that could be heard in the next terminal:
'Hey, I told you we'd be on a first name basis before we left, huh? Right? Right? We're not bad drinkers, are we? Are we? Right?'
Yes, I wanted to say to the jerk. You are a bad drinker. In fact, you are the poster boy for bad drinkers.
What I did say, I said to the bartender after they left.
'I bet you get on a first name basis with a lot of those guys, huh? First name jag, last name off?'
He just smiled. Airport bartenders have a special place reserved for them in heaven.
Comments (2)
Rebecca:
HA!! No . . . not the same hotel chain. VERY similar names, in my defense. Also in my defense, I TOLD the cab driver the right hotel, and then just sort of kicked back and assumed he would take me there. When I tried to check in and there was no reservation, I assumed it was a mistake. Luckily, the right hotel was right around the corner, but it was a mad scramble that morning!
Ha again!! About six minutes after I hit "send" to send the item for posting to Ragan, I re-read it and said to myself, "Damn. Should have said silent partner." Oh, well.
Gin martinis----sometimes dirty, often times not. And I USED to do the blue-cheese stuffed olives, but don't anymore. Why not? BECAUSE THEY TAKE UP TOO MUCH ROOM IN THE GLASS!! That means less gin for me. And that is truly pathetic, I know.
YOU have a great day, too. I'm in Portland, Maine, and it's 11:30 at night, and I'm speaking to the communicators at a large grocery-store chain up here in the Northeast.
It's a frustrating assignment, because Portland is supposed to be such a cool town, and I'm SO CLOSE to it, but won't have any time to actually see it.
Steve
Posted by steve crescenzo | November 17, 2004 11:00 AM
Posted on November 17, 2004 11:00
DATE: 11/17/2004 28:90:5P PM
Okay Steve....I have a couple of comments after this one.
1. You ended up in the wrong hotel?! Please tell me they were in the same chain, and you just stayed at the 'airport' hotel instead of the 'downtown' hotel of the same name.
2. You should have said "silent partner" instead of "quiet owner"...it was the punchline I was waiting for and never got. How unlike you!
3. What kind of fourth martini? I have always been a French Martini girl myself, and having 4 would just never happen. Too sweet. But now I've graduated to the Dirty Martini, extra dirty, btw...and that means there could be a 4-martini night in my future. Have you discovered the bleu cheese stuffed olive? I encountered it for the first time last Saturday evening. Yummm, but I digress.
4. These people do not reserve themselves for airport bars. Hotel bars, too...I've seen a few in my biz travels. I usually want to punch them in the face.
5. Have a great day.
Posted by Rebecca | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30