Are you someone I should network with?
I spoke at IABC Chicago this past Wednesday. It was a great crowd . . . more than 80 communicators showed up to hear me talk about 'Trends in Communication.'
As with all local IABC events, there was a 'networking period' before the speaker starts. I was kind of milling around the room, talking to people I know, when a middle-aged woman came right up to me.
'Are you a good person to network with?' she asked.
I was a little taken aback by the question. I mean, in some ways, I really admired her. Do you know how many countless hours I've wasted networking with worthless people? I mean, maybe they weren't worthless as people, per se, but they were certainly worthless from a networking standpoint.
What a neat idea, I thought! Do some pre-qualifying when you network. Ask people straight out: 'Are you going to be worth my time?' Imagine the hours you would save!
Then I started seriously pondering the question: Am I, in fact, a good person to network with? Would it be worth this woman's time to network with me, or would she be better served bouncing around the room some more?
On the surface, I guess, I'm a fairly safe bet for someone looking to network. Because of the seminars I teach and the articles I write and the consulting I do, I've gotten to know a LOT of people. And I think I'm fairly in tune with the big trends in the industry. And I sometimes even know about jobs that nobody else knows about.
So in that regard, I guess I would be an excellent person to network with.
But . . . there's a downside, too. I don't return calls sometimes. I am swamped with e-mail and can't keep up. I can't keep track of everyone I network with. I am irresponsible. I am driven by life, not my career. While other Type A personalities use travel time to do work and get caught up with stuff, I drink and listen to James Taylor.
In the great phone tag game of life, I am always IT.
So in that regard, I am a lousy, rotten-ass person to network with, because I may not follow through on anything we talk about.
This was a defining moment for me. And maybe it would be for you, too.
Ask yourself: Are you a good person to network with?
Comments (10)
Steve:
First, I've always wanted to say, "Good Day to you, Madam," to someone . . . it's so Churchillian, or something. Second, I share your loathing of both "networking" AND "brainstorming." Especially, when it comes to brainstorming, the part about "there are no wrong answers." Oh, the hell there aren't. In fact, MOST of the damned answers that come out of those "sessions" are wrong, aren't they?
Steve
Posted by steve crescenzo | January 23, 2005 10:03 AM
Posted on January 23, 2005 10:03
What you wrote took real courage, dude.
My name is Kristin and I have a problem. I do not return phone calls sometimes. Some weeks, I don't return phone calls four or even five times. Sometimes more. But I'm trying to quit. I have it under control. Really. I got this new caller id phone and this daytimer thingy. I'll be fine.
Now,if you'll please excuse me, I've got some calls to return...
Well, maybe I'll just save time getting caught up and email instead...mention something about a big deadline at work...allergies...lots on my plate....
Hang in there, Steve! You're doing great, man. But if you need some support, don't call me, unless I call you first!
Posted by Kristin | January 25, 2005 11:20 AM
Posted on January 25, 2005 11:20
That woman and her question are absurd. By virtue of the nature of networking, you never know what you're going to get out of it until you start DOING IT! The problem is that people think they can teach you how to network, when what we really need to learn is how to socialize. And corporate America has killed social skills. Don't get me going!
Posted by Heather Perkins | February 7, 2005 11:55 AM
Posted on February 7, 2005 11:55
DATE: 01/21/2005 02:84:1P PM
I cannot believe she asked you that straight out! I'd have been forced to say no, just to get rid of her. Was she really a "communicator"? Sounds like a visitor from Planet HR.
Thanks to you, I've just officially faced the fact that I'd be a horrid person to network with. You'd be good though, I think, since you know everybody. And you'd be able to point out the best bartender...
Posted by Meredith | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 01/21/2005 29:03:2P PM
Meredith:
YES!! She really did come storming up like that. It was very odd. How about this: You and I network together at the bar. That solves all problems!
Steve
Posted by steve crescenzo | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 01/21/2005 40:71:2P PM
You are definitely onto something.
Posted by Meredith | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 01/22/2005 59:95:6P PM
How very strange. Perhaps the appropriate response would have been "Indeed I am. But based on that question, it is obvious that *you*, in fact, are not. Good day to you Madam."
On another note, the term "networking" just grates on me - especially when used in the context of "network for the next 30 minutes. Ready, go" like you are 6-year olds going to recess. For me, its like the term "brainstorming." What ever happened to "thinking?"
Really get me going on this, and I'll start quoting my father, who loves to point out to anyone who will listen that that thing in your basement is NOT in fact a "hot water heater." If the water were hot, you see, one would not need to heat it. It is, in fact, a COLD water heater.
And people wonder how I got this way...
Posted by Steve Neruda | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 01/24/2005 28:11:2P PM
My point of reference for the quote is decidedly less sophisticated - its a line from John Candy in "Uncle Buck." Can't beat the classics...
Posted by Steve Neruda | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 01/25/2005 39:74:0P PM
Hey Steve,
I know you're not looking for a scientific answer to this question, but I'll offer it anyway. According to Marcus Buckingham's book "Now, Discover Your Strengths," there are certain people who have the strength "connectedness." That would lead me to believe that there are people who are theoretically good to network with. There's actually a similar theory I think in Malcolm Gladwell's "The Tipping Point."
On the other hand, asking someone outright takes all the fun out of the dance.
Posted by kathy.felong | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 01/26/2005 11:92:9P AM
Steve . . . Uncle Buck is one of my favorites . . . that Good Day To You, Madam, is the scene where he flips a quarter at the woman and tells her to find a rat to chew the mole off her face, right?
Kristin: When I wrote what I wrote, I felt like an alcoholic standing up in AA for the first time. I'm just not GOOD at it. Kathy, I'll have to check out Buckingham . . . .I keep hearing his name all over the place these days, and I know nothing about him.
A woman that just started working for Ragan knew Marcus back when he was a nobody . . . he came into her company to do employee engagement research . . . and now he commands $75,000 a speech.
Can you imagine? I'd only have to work once a year.
Steve
Posted by steve crescenzo | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30