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I'd rather be blackballed than blackberried
It happened again. I got blackberried.
I was in the middle of a wonderful e-mail exchange with a colleague I've known for years. I had just penned a fairly elaborate note, asking her if I could do a story about this neat thing she's doing with her intranet.
I also asked her if she was going to be in Vegas for the Corporate Communicators Conference, because I wanted to have dinner.
In all, there were also about two or three other things in my last e-mail that she could have commented on.
But all I got back was a one-word answer, in all lower-case letters:
ok
That was it. After two or three long e-mails and a great discussion about many things, I get . . . ok. OK, what? OK we can have dinner? OK I can profile this feature on her intranet? OK she was going to be in Vegas?
Well, I did what I always do in that case: I started tearing frantically through our past correspondence, trying to see if I had written anything that could have offended her (I'm one of those people who is constantly, it seems, offending people without realizing it.)
But I couldn't find anything, so I immediately started worrying that maybe something had happened to her. Why did she shut down? Was she sick? Was she drunk? Should I get drunk in case she was drunk, so I could communicate on her level? Did she fall out of her chair? Was she having computer problems? Should I get drunk just in case?
So I fired off a message asking her if anything was the matter.
'Sorry about that,' she wrote back about two hours later. 'I got pulled into a meeting, and sent that note via my Blackberry.'
This has happened before. These damned electronic ball and chains turn smart communicators into GenX instant messengers, with all those irritating abbreviations, lower-case words and terse expressions.
There should be a law: Every Blackberry or similar device should automatically build in a tagline to go with every e-mail it sends. It should read:
'This message was sent by a wireless device with tiny little baby keys, which makes it very hard to type anything of substance. The sender should probably be listening to whatever is happening in the meeting, or having dinner with his family, or reading a novel, but is instead doing his best to manipulate these tiny little keys because it is SO important that he be connected to work every single minute of every day. So please excuse the jerky message. Thank you.'
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Feels like Total Recall. Er, Philip K Dick?
Actually, with Steve's example it's a bit scary --- standing at the urinal...
Comments (9)
My name is Sharon. (Hi, Sharon.) And yes, I'm powerless to my Blackberry. And I'm even more embarrassed that I intentionally lower my own standards while typing on this crazy thing. Spelling typos? Well, of course; I'm in a hurry. No periods? No problem. I'm not saying we're proud. But we're the addicted. It's a disease, after all.
Posted by Sharon | February 14, 2005 10:43 AM
Posted on February 14, 2005 10:43
Hence the pejorative "Crackberry." I used to be a two-way pager nut. But that has ended, thankfully. I was weaned off due to a mandate that employees would pay for *either* a phone, or a two-way. And when Mother Moto stopped making the pagers, well, the writing was on the wall...
I still reply to the occasional email from my phone, but if you think standards are lowered with a small (but full) QWERTY keyboard, imagine the output from a phone keypad....
Steve N
Posted by Steve Neruda | February 15, 2005 10:18 AM
Posted on February 15, 2005 10:18
Thanks for sharon, Sharon. I realize I'm on the wrong side of this debate. Since I travel so much, I should definitely have one. But I'm worried because I have a very addictive, compulsive personality. An old friend used to call me "Mr. Excess."
And for about two months, I had a cell phone where I could check my e-mail. Within one week, I was checking it every 30 seconds. I was checking it at restaurants, while walking down the street, in bars, even in bed.
And I couldn't even figure out how to answer people. I just liked the idea of checking my e-mail non-stop.
So I quit cold turkey. But I'm probably only fooling myself. It's the way the world is going, and I should probably expect it.
Steve
Posted by steve c. | February 16, 2005 10:08 AM
Posted on February 16, 2005 10:08
DATE: 02/14/2005 31:53:2P PM
While your tagline certainly has a certain bohemian charm to it, in fact the messages that i've gotten from Crack-berry users *DO* in fact say "Sent from my Blackberry device" or some such comment. Which I always took as marketing/advertising spiel. But I guess it *could* serve an additional logical purpose of lowering your expectations vis a vis clarity...
Steve
Posted by Steve Neruda | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 02/14/2005 31:92:6P PM
Steve,
I've gotten those taglines, too . . . but I think it's an option. Because I also receive some that don't have them. It should probably be mandatory.
And oh . . . you should have tasted that antelope . . . . .
Steve
Posted by Steve Crescenzo | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 02/14/2005 39:60:9P PM
Awright, awright. I confess. I'm a Blackberry offender. And I definitely did select the auto signature "Sent from my Blackberry handheld" to explain the sudden-onset illiteracy contained in any messages sent.
Steve...I think you should pull a "Surrender, Dorothy" and get one. Just think how many more e-mails you might return...?
Posted by Meredith | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 02/15/2005 01:92:3P PM
I've seen another evil Blackberry phenomenon crop up. When responding to company-wide emails, a couple of Blackberry users have replied to all, rather than replying to sender. Hence, the offenders have shared their monosyllabic tendencies with 800 people instead of just one.
Posted by Valarie | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 02/15/2005 52:75:9P PM
Wow. The whole In Your Underwear At Work nightmare comes to life. (Note to self: remove Reply All option).
Posted by Meredith | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
Darkstar, you are correct. If there is a risk that open encrypted volumes of interest would close on power loss, it is preferable to employ a live forensic tool and not to cut the power. Yes, that's a very tough call for a first responder to make. Then again, LE also has the option of arresting the perp and requesting/coercing the password.
Posted by battery | June 2, 2008 8:19 PM
Posted on June 2, 2008 20:19