RSS
STORE
You, too, can bullshit your way through Six Sigma!
I don't normally like to cover things out here that I write about in Ragan Report, but I can't help myself this time, because I have had the best idea of my career.
In my page seven column, due out next week, I talk about how communicators can harness the power of 'Six Sigma.'
You don't know Six Sigma? Well, it's real big right now. Nine out of the last ten consulting clients I've had use its principles. Basically, Six Sigma is a way to solve problems and improve efficiency. Here's an official definition I found on the Internet:
'A quality measure and improvement program developed by Motorola that focuses on the control of a process to the point of ± six sigma (standard deviations) from a centerline, or 3.4 defects per million items. It includes identifying factors critical to quality as determined by the customer, reducing process variation and improving capabilities, increasing stability and designing systems to support the six sigma goal.'
Woooeeee!! That's a mouthful, ain't it?
In my column, I go into great detail about how we need to learn Six Sigma, if we ever want to run with the big dogs in the organization.
And there are two ways we can learn it:
We could actually take the Six Sigma training. But it's probably real boring.
That's why I like option number 2, which I call the 'Crescenzo Method of Six Sigma.'
My method can be summed up in five words:
'Bullshit your way through it.'
After poring over Six Sigma materials, and hearing far too many executives bury employees with Six Sigma buzzwords and jargon, I have realized that in order to bullshit our way through it, we just have to learn some of the important Sigma terms.
Of course, there are many terms, and we don't have time to learn them all. But we can start with three. And these three are very flexible, so we can use them in all kinds of situations. Here they are:
Root Cause Analysis. Or RCA. In regular English, this is called, 'finding the cause of the problem.' When to use: Anytime you don't know the answer to a problem. Sample Usage: 'The thing I don't want to do, Dwayne, is band-aid the problem. We're in the process of establishing the RCA.'
Permanent Corrective Action. Or PCA. This is what you do once you establish the RCA. When to use: If a problem has been lingering for a while, and you can't seem to fix it. Sample Usage: 'Dwayne, the Six Sigma team has already established the RCA, but we're struggling with implementing the PCA because it represents a severe paradigm shift.'
Problem Solving Tracking Sheet. Or PSTS. I don't know what this is, but it doesn't matter, because I know how to use the acronym. When to use: 'Whenever someone is threatening to solve the problem without you. Sample Usage: 'That's a great idea, Dwayne. We should set aside a couple of hours next week to enter that into the PSTS. Can I get on your calendar?' That ought to be enough to take care of old Dwayne, right?
I'm in Denver right now, about to speak to the IABC Chapter tomorrow, and the gang is taking me out for margaritas in 15 minutes.
When I get back—or, depending on the quality of the margaritas, maybe tomorrow morning—I'll offer you two bonus tips for implementing the 'Crescenzo Method' of Six Sigma.
In the meantime, if any of you are using Six Sigma and can offer your own tips, in the immortal words of America's president, bring them on!
Subscribe to this blog's feed
Feels like Total Recall. Er, Philip K Dick?
Actually, with Steve's example it's a bit scary --- standing at the urinal...
Comments (16)
Can't resist replying... Being a Motorolan, i've lived with this for years. And shame on you Steve, Six Sigma is old and busted. The new hotness is DIGITAL Six Sigma. There is an entirely new series of acronyms to throw out at opportune times. Of course I have no idea what they are, since knowing them and effectively communicating are clearly at cross purposes.
(actually, I *do* know them, but I'll never admit it out loud)
It gets worse - there are "green" belts and "black" belts - stealing a concept from the martial arts world - to signify various levels of aptitude with the "DSS" tools. Perhaps for you we can add a futher belt... of scotch perhaps?
SN
Posted by Steve Neruda | February 16, 2005 11:25 AM
Posted on February 16, 2005 11:25
Come on, really???? I've sat down with Sigma Black Belts and such, and have seen their recognition posters plastered all over plants and other workplaces . . . . . but I didn't know it was broke. I was just out at a plant last week, and EVERYBODY-----even the communicator!!----was throwing Six Sigma terms around.
It may be, Steve, that you are TOO cutting edge/leading edge/bleeding edge. For God's sake, I just figured out how to bs my way through Six Sigma, and you're telling me I have to begin all over with DIGITAL Six Sigma????
Can you at least just give me a couple of the terms, so I can start using them in meetings?
Steve
Posted by steve c. | February 16, 2005 11:40 AM
Posted on February 16, 2005 11:40
OK, OK, but you did NOT hear this from me...
At the risk of further dilbertizing this effort, here is a brief piece of wisdom (and YES, I know the answer mentions 3, and there are 4. Perhaps it's a test...
Q. What is Digital Six Sigma?
A. A revitalization of Six Sigma through three improvements:
- Leveraging New Digital Tools to Drive Project Success
- Digitizing Business Processes to Permanently Enforce Optimal Process Compliance
- Tracking The Vital Few through Digital Cockpits
- Permanently and Proactively Eliminating Sources of Variation that Cause Defects
It also involves adding "e-" to many existing terms - like e-training, e-tracking, and e-tools.
There is more--- oh so much more--- but i fear i've said too much already...
Posted by Steve Neruda | February 16, 2005 12:01 PM
Posted on February 16, 2005 12:01
Oh, ho. Now I see. Now go have a drink, please. Purge yourself of this episode, less it creeps into your subconscious.
By the way, at the IABC Denver dinner last night, I had Buffalo. So in the last week, I've had Buffalo, Antelope, Wild Boar, and Venison. Next up: Yak. I'm gonna get some good Yak.
Steve
Posted by steve c. | February 16, 2005 12:12 PM
Posted on February 16, 2005 12:12
Why do people come up with this crap? Is it so they can feel good about themselves?
Instead of "what's the problem?", now it's "Root Cause Analysis". If you remember a few posts ago about the CEO who was asked during a meeting with shop workers why machine #13 kept going down every week, do you think the CEO went through Six Sigma? No, he went down to the shop floor, looked at the machine, then told his plant manager to fix the damn thing right!
He didn't need Six Sigma training to solve that problem, just some common sense.
Posted by Darin | February 21, 2005 10:16 AM
Posted on February 21, 2005 10:16
DATE: 02/16/2005 11:93:0P AM
Digital Cockpits? Off to stick my head in the oven.
Posted by Meredith | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 02/16/2005 02:63:3P PM
Perhaps the 10:30 am margarita will bring on the yak?
Goodness, with all that wild game in your system, I think the hair may return. Let us know! =) Today, wild game, tomorrow, eyebrows! And you'll be back to shaved chests at da Bears games in no time!
In deepest joshing respect of course =)
Posted by Laurel | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 02/16/2005 82:40:3P PM
Steve,
You're killing me with your Six Sigma riff.
And it comes at the right time. My wife and I were in a bar last week-- (and I'm not making this up)--when a female friend of a friend introduced herself.
What do you do? my wife asked. "I'm a Six Sigma Black Belt," this woman replied. Not wanting to ask a foolish question, my wife nodded her head knowingly while I looked on smiling. I wanted to see how long it would take before she realized that this job title had nothing to do with the martial arts.
About five minutes later, the woman told a long, tedious story about how, whenever she meets a colleague in the company's lobby, she yells, "Hi Bob, are you in the house today?"
Now, unlike you Steve, I'm not up on all the Six Sigma minutiae. To quote my late father, Larry Ragan, "I try to protect myself from that sort of thing."
But I think the "are you in the house" declaration is where Six Sigma jargon crosses with Engagement fad-speak. Can anyone help me with this?
Steve, are YOU in the house?
Mark Ragan
Posted by mark ragan | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 02/16/2005 83:72:6P PM
Uh oh. I haven't heard that one yet. Steve Neruda, you are the appointed Six Sigma expert of this blog, like it or not. What the hell does that mean, are you in the house?
I need to know if I need to be in the house. And I need to know what to say if someone asks me, "Are you in the house?"
I don't want to give some code word for being gay or something. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. But if I'm going to admit to some kind of closet gayness, I want to know what the hell I'm doing.
Steve, can you help? Is "are you in the house" the bastard child of Six Sigma and Employee Engagement?
By the way, I just had dinner with a communication executive from Coors . . . a VERY bright woman who came out of the Organizational Development side of things, and now is in communication.
She insists that at Coors, they have managed to link Employee Engagement to the bottom line of the organization, with HARD numbers.
I'm going to dig deeper on this, and will post the results here. If there truly is a way to link Employee Engagement----which even this woman admits is very "soft"---to the bottom line, it's worth discussing, no?
Steve
Posted by steve c. | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 02/17/2005 78:63:4A PM
"Six Sigma expert" - you insult me sir!
Nonetheless, in the never ending pursuit of enlightenment, I will offer what I know. This poor deluded woman is attempting to remain relevant to the "shorties," so to speak. Of course, were she *really* hip, it would be something like "B-diggy in the hiz-ouse."
This is clearly not not Six Sigma speak, I am pleased to report. It lacks the critical components of Design (D-zizzle) Measure (M-dogg) Analyze (A-lizzy) and Control (C-ronny-a-doo-ron-ron).
I have consulted the oracle of wisdom known at the Urban Dictionary (www.urbandictionary.com), and here is the formal definition:
"In da house"
In the house. What someone might proclaim when they have arrived at a formal business meeting....or even just a totally stoned out party
'Aiight, I iz in da house so lets get down gurlz!'
Hope this helps,
S-Dog
Posted by Steve Neruda | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 02/17/2005 82:02:6A PM
Luckily, I am in da house today (really, working from home) because I nearly had an accident from laughing too hard at this.
Posted by Kathy Felong | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 02/21/2005 08:05:4P PM
...And so it has come to this. I am looking at the Bonus Track II, June 9 10am session at the just announced Corporate Communicators Conference. Et Tu, Stevus? (a little Caesars humor for you there...)
Posted by Steve Neruda | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 02/21/2005 43:13:1P PM
Hooo boy . . . well, that's the first I've seen of that. Ragan stopped letting me plan the CCC conference when they realized I was only inviting speakers who would sponsor rounds in the hotel bar.
But I'm willing to give the woman a chance. If she can truly tell me how Six Sigma can improve communication, I'll publicly apologize for ever making fun of it.
Who knows? Maybe millions of people CAN'T be wrong . . . .
But I'll be in the back of the room with my skeptic hat firmly in place.
Steve
Posted by steve c. | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 03/16/2005 08:22:9A PM
Hi dear
I'm very sorry for my bad english and to be off topic.
I'm an Italian journalist, I'm desperately looking for Motorolans for a couple of questions, for an article.
Can somebody help me?
Posted by rubinet | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
DATE: 03/20/2005 80:20:6A PM
Hello Rubient,
Is it only a motorolan that u are seeking.
If it is six sigma, I am in India. May be i can help.Howevr, the acronyms that i have seen in this blog left me spinning. But as Darin said, u dont need six sigma to solve all problems.
Good luck!!
Posted by Ajay | October 16, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:30
Gosh... don't I feel silly. I am a "Master Black Belt" which means I must really make your stomachs turn. I can even explain what leptokurtosis means. Scary, huh? Well luckily they pay me well for knowing these things so I guess I will take my lumps from Dilbert and blogs like this.
Posted by Ron | May 17, 2007 11:46 PM
Posted on May 17, 2007 23:46