Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but I've been on a top-secret assignment for the Army.
No, seriously. I'm working on a communication audit for the Army Research Laboratory, the group that develops weapons and other war materials for the Army. I spent all week on two different Army bases, where the first thing they do when you register to get inside is confiscate your computer and your cell phone.
'Why my cell phone?' I asked the man with the big gun who took it from me.
'Because it can take pictures,' he said.
'But I've never taken a picture with it,' I tried to explain. 'I don't even know how to change the damn ring tune, let alone take and send a picture. I can't even figure out how to send a text message. It's just like a regular phone to me.'
That argument didn't work, so as I moved around the base, interviewing former generals and doing focus groups with employees, I was completely out of touch for the first time in maybe five years. It felt nice . . . but weird.
Speaking of this project, by the way: You think YOU have communication challenges? The communicators at the Army Research Lab got you beat. Guaranteed. First, their employees are spread out around nine different sites around the country. And of course each site is like it's own little world, with its own cultures, needs, and wants. Second, on those sites, employees are divided into different 'directorates' so that the silos have silos.
Third, they can't talk about approximately 70 percent of what they do—because it's classified. Fourth, they've got a weird combination of scientists, Ph.D.s, and ex-military people in charge, which makes for an odd corporate culture.
And finally, they've got more acronyms than a can of alphabet soup. Job titles are acronyms. Product programs are acronyms. The various and numerous levels of hierarchy in the organization are acronyms. Paperwork and forms are assigned acronyms. The different bases and facilities are acronyms. In fact, everything is an acronym.
'I've been here 12 years, and I still don't know half the acronyms,' one employee told me. 'And as soon as you learn one, they change it.'
Talk about a tough communication environment.
Comments (8)
Steve---guess I'll quit complaining about city government-type bureaucracies and their penchant for wanting to "put out a message without really saying anything. We can do that, right?" No! Now go directly to the firing squad, do not pass go, do not collect your good communicator's badge, etc.
I'm curious what they expect of you, with all that top secretness, non-communication and diverse audiences. Assuming that someone somewhere said, "Maybe we need to communicate better?" Tell us more of the story, at least as much as you can without them having to "disappear" you (yes, it can be an active verb--ha!)
Oh, and you have a renegade apostrophe in paragraph 7, line 3. =)
PS---is Microsoft still on your calendar this spring?
Posted by Laurel | March 31, 2005 12:00 PM
Posted on March 31, 2005 12:00
Steve,
IMHO, I think that there need to be more acronyms and secrecy in the world. How else could I RFLMAO when people don't understand me? I mean really, WTF? If you just tell them to RTFM, they'll know exactly how much RAM that CPU needs for the RIS server so I can ghost the workstations! It's so EASY. Geez.
I think the instant message and text message people have us all beat, btw...no matter what I do, I could never abbreviate so well.
So Steve is a secret agent man (begin singing now)...probably no martinis on base, how sad.
Posted by Rebecca, Julie's friend | April 1, 2005 10:07 AM
Posted on April 1, 2005 10:07
NO martinis on base, Rebecca. NONE. I tried to sneak into the officer's club, but they recognized me immediately for what I was---a fat, sloppy civilian.
I think there is a lot to do here, in terms of communication, Laurel. While much of what they create, and the work they do, is classified, there is so much more they could be talking about.
Here's the thing. The people who work at this place could probably do a lot better in private industry. But they really take pride in what they do---namely, helping the soldiers.
There are hundreds of stories not being told. There are hundreds of opportunities to bring employees together into one family. I know that sounds corny . . . but I really believe it. Right now, it's just a bunch of people working in separate silos . . . which would be fine, I guess, if they were productive and morale was high.
But morale is NOT high. There's no sense of belonging to something bigger. There's not enough communication surrounding what the organization does, and how people fit in.
But we're going to change all that. I'll keep you up to speed on how it all shakes out.
Laurel . . . Microsoft is out, but Boeing might be in!! In Seattle, towards the end of May. I'm just not sure of the actual date yet. If it goes, then maybe we could meet for a martini or three.
Hey, Kevin: Thanks for that acronym web site. What a hoot.
Steve
Posted by Steve C. | April 1, 2005 10:58 AM
Posted on April 1, 2005 10:58
Sounds like you have your hands full there, Mr. C., but you are properly optimistic before the challenge---good! That would be really satisfying to get them started on a better communication strategy and have them stick to it, etc. Do they have you roped in for follow-up as well, or just for the audit and recommendations?
And AOK on the Boeing possibility....and it's mojitos, not martinis for me =) I'm in OH, though, from 5/19-23. C ya, maybe! =)
Posted by Laurel | April 1, 2005 11:33 AM
Posted on April 1, 2005 11:33
enough about the army- how about another raffle?
Posted by Cathy | April 1, 2005 12:57 PM
Posted on April 1, 2005 12:57
DATE: 03/31/2005 28:81:1P PM
I'm with you on the acronym slap-happy corporations because I work for one of them--which shall remain nameless. Sadly, the world has gotten away from creating acronyms for convenience purposes, and now just does it to make themselves feel important...or to keep them employed. Or maybe it's part of the grand plan to drive us all to the funny farm??
Posted by J | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 03/31/2005 30:45:7P PM
which reminds me of one of my favorite sites:
www.acronymfinder.com
unfortunately its a much used resource.
Posted by kevin dugan | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 04/01/2005 01:95:0P PM
Ha ha ha ha, Cathy. That made me laugh out loud. Or lol. Or rolfhshifol!!
I'll cook up another raffle soon. Enough about the Army, indeed. But I did get to meet a former general who was in Vietnam. He was supposed to give me just 30 minutes for an executive interview, and instead I was in there for two hours, and he told me all kinds of cool war stories.
So that was pretty cool.
Posted by Steve C. | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31