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Does anyone else out here in BlogLand have any work-related superstitions? I ask because I just realized that I do, and I need to know that I'm not the only weirdo out here.
Now, I'm not talking about everyday-life superstitions. Though I have plenty of those, too. For instance, there's a statue of General U.S. Grant sitting on his horse that you can see from Lake Shore Drive.
And anytime I drive LSD, which I do about four times a week, I have to salute General Grant. I mean, I have to. I'm like one of those obsessive-compulsive nut jobs who has to wash his hands 167 times a day. I can't help it. I have to salute General Grant.
And to make matters worse, I have to look at the General while I salute him . . . or I'm convinced that I will wrap my car around the back end of a truck that day. Never mind that I have almost caused several different accidents because I forgot to salute the statue, and had to turn halfway around in my seat so I could see the General before tossing off a salute.
But I'm not talking about regular superstitions like that one.
I'm talking about work related superstitions. And the reason I ask is because I never really realized I had any of these . . . but I do. For years, I have been doing all these weirdo superstitious rituals without even realizing that I had them.
And I want tell you about them, in the hopes that if I come out, others in our field might feel it's okay to come out, and reveal any superstitions they might have.
Here's mine:
Every time before I speak publicly, I have to do the following things:
* First, the night before, in the hotel room, I have to lay out my underwear, socks, shoes, and belt on whatever chair is available in the hotel room. Not on a couch. Not on the second bed, not in the bathroom. It has to be on whatever chair is in the room. And I can't lay out my pants or shirt. Just underwear, socks, belt, and shoes.
* Second, it has to be the right underwear. I currently have five pairs of boxer shorts that I feel are 'lucky' enough to be part of the 'speaking rotation.' As needed, I will break in a new pair�but not for an important speaking gig. Oh, no. I'll try out the new pair at a smaller gig, and if it goes okay, then they make it into the actual speaker's rotation.
* The morning of the speaking gig itself, I have to do the same thing every time in the shower. After I'm done washing, I turn the shower onto the coldest possible setting�so that the ice-cold water is knifing into my body like a million little needles. And I have to stand there for at ten full seconds, exactly, throwing left jab/right cross/left hook combinations over and over�the whole time thinking that my heart is going to burst wide open.
* Finally, when I get down to the room where I'm speaking, I have to write down my introductory comments on whatever paper the hotel has made available. You know how they always have those little scratch pads? I have to write down my opening remarks on the hotel stationary. But not the stationary in my room . . . oh, no. It has to be the stationary in the speaking room itself.
And here's the funny thing about all of these superstitions: I honest to God never realized I was doing them all, religiously, until a couple of weeks ago, when I started to jot down some opening remarks on a random piece of paper in my hotel room . . . and caught myself, and threw it away.
That's when I started paying attention to what a complete and total freak I am.
Please, please tell me that there are others out there like me. Do you have a ritual you go through before a big meeting? Do you have a deadline day superstition, where you have to eat the same food so that you're sure to make your deadline?
I don't want to have to go to therapy . . . but I will if I'm the only nut case acting like this.
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Feels like Total Recall. Er, Philip K Dick?
Actually, with Steve's example it's a bit scary --- standing at the urinal...
Comments (22)
Steve, we all love you but i think something was knocked loose when you fell out of that plane in Toronto...
Hehe, just kidding. You know, I can honestly say that I have no such routines. Perhaps I should get some?!?!?!
Posted by Toby Ward | July 19, 2005 11:18 AM
Posted on July 19, 2005 11:18
>>>If the underwear and sock thing is bothering you, do what I do. Don't wear any underwear or socks. In fact, don't wear any clothes at all. I've decided to do all of my presentations naked.<<<
Gosh, Robert, that's the creepiest thing I've heard all year. Mr. Greenbean.
And I thought Steve was neurotic!
Posted by Charles Pizzo | July 26, 2005 11:25 AM
Posted on July 26, 2005 11:25
Robert, where do you wear those socks?
Posted by steve c. | July 27, 2005 11:50 AM
Posted on July 27, 2005 11:50
Well, I guess you'll just have to attend a presentation sometime and find out! (How's THAT for bridging back to the marketing message?) :-D
Posted by Robert J Holland, ABC | July 27, 2005 12:07 PM
Posted on July 27, 2005 12:07
It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
Posted by Scott Andersen | August 9, 2005 12:40 PM
Posted on August 9, 2005 12:40
DATE: 07/19/2005 19:94:9P PM
Relax, my son, you are not alone.
I had this pencil I called Golden Boy (Seinfeldism) that I had to use when interviewing the CEO or some other bigwig. Had to. Use it. HAD to. My manager used to steal it just to listen to me frantically ransacking the office in search of it.
How amused she was when it (long story) fell in the toilet. My choices were to fish it out and rehabilitate it or say goodbye. I said goodbye.
Then again, I'm in therapy...
Posted by Meredith | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/19/2005 21:35:8P PM
One superstition you might want to look into is the spelling of the word stationery -- with an e -- when referring to paper. If you're stationary -- with an a -- you're standing still.
Posted by Laura | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/19/2005 23:45:1P PM
Sorry, nope. Not a one*. Ya freak.
SN
* I assume that compulsively checking for random and unnecessary apostrophes and pulling your hair out while howling at the moon and lamenting what kind of worthless SIGN PRINTING companies makes such mistakes when you spot one doesn't count, right? Right??
Posted by S Neruda | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/19/2005 31:64:8P PM
I'm with you on this one Steve. You're not alone. Let me put it this way: When my coworkers ask me to go for a drink and I jokingly say, "I can't; it doesn't mix well with my medication" I'm not really joking. But look at it this way - the most colorful people you've ever met are a little "off."
And take heart - Steve Neruda is simply in denial. We all know what a whack job he is.
Posted by Eileen | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/20/2005 10:61:6A AM
I'd be lying if I didn't say that was a bit odd... most pre-presentation hotel rooms will find me giving an engaging and compelling talk to a stopwatch though.... hmmmm
Posted by James Farmer | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/20/2005 01:11:3P PM
Steve - you are an established nut job and we all know it...I wouldn't let it freak you out at this point...it's a little late for that. But at least your out of denial, and that's nice.
Before I get ready to tackle a big project here or fix something that isn't working correctly and I know is going to take awhile, I must have a new, cold diet coke. I could have half a can sitting on my desk, but if I start something new and huge, or if I'm in the middle of a crisis, I have to have a NEW diet coke from the fridge and a NEW pen from the supply room. Actually, I get a whole box of them. It's weird.
And then I shut my door, immediately open Windows Media Player (for an iTunes junkie, that's saying something) and point my library to the Rolling Stones Forty Licks double CD set. From the moment Street Fighting Man starts, it's game on, baby!
So at this moment I have a server throwing off SCSI parity errors and generally ticking me off...so I'm off to the fridge, then the supply room and finally the server room. Mick isn't too far behind.
Posted by Rebecca, Julie's friend | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/20/2005 02:12:4P PM
Writing: My ritual is anything at all that allows me to put off getting started. Most of the boring things on my to-do list get done this way.
Presenting: Use washroom several times in hotel room. Leave room, using any washrooms I encounter on way to presentation room. Arrive at presentation room and locate all nearby washrooms (in case one is closed for cleaning just when I need it). Check equipment, etc. Visit washroom every five minutes until last visit immediately before presentation starts. Carry on as if normal until break time, then visit washroom at start and end of break. After presentation, go through rest of day without even thinking of a washroom.
Posted by Tim Hicks | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/20/2005 39:92:4P PM
I feel really normal and boring right now. Oh, forgot, i'm medicated.
I know what a washroom is, but i never hear people say washroom. That will be my new thing, i will always say washroom, and i will force myself to say it everday, 3 times a day, and if i forget one day i will poke my eyes out.
Thanks for the idea Tim.
Posted by Cathy | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/20/2005 60:01:4P PM
I have to buy a new lipstick before starting at a new job (at minimum, during the first week), and before any business trip. I have to have a certain quota of desk tchotchkes set up, with a sub-quota of Star Wars items, before I can settle into a location. I have to have a cup for my pens -- scattered all over the desk, or in a drawer, will not do. Must be in a cup of some kind, and there must be a black Sharpie present at all times.
And I must NOT NOT NOT pay any attention to the state of my desk while I am working on a big project. It gets as messy as it needs to until the final sign off and completion, at which point I try to thin out the crap a bit. But if I try to clean in the middle of anything, I will undoubtedly throw something out that I needed, or lose my notes, or move to an unfindable place the one thing I need. Even the empty diet Coke cans have to stay until I'm done, just in case I, uh, scribbled a note on the back of one with that Sharpie. Yeah. That's it.
I'm not sure, though, if these are superstitions or neuroses. Plenty of bad stuff happens even if I don't have them there, but yet I persist. Or is that just straight up insanity?
Posted by sarah | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/20/2005 68:11:2A PM
Steve,
Perhaps these routines help fuel your creativity in some odd way, but you might consider getting some help!:)
Posted by Mark | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/20/2005 82:61:5A PM
<grins> That's a little over my *personal* edge, but I do have to admit to a few quirks ...
For instance, before any presentation, of any size, I have to check the batteries in my laser pointer. Even if I'm not going to *use* my laser pointer. If I'm not taking it with me, I check the batteries before I get on the plane. Seriously.
Also, I must eat while writing. Whatever it is must be crunchy and salty. Kettle chips, cashews ... I have convinced myself that I cannot write without something crunchy-salty. That it itself wouldn't be quite so freakish, except that in the absence of said crunchy-salty foods, I will convince myself that anything composed must be rewritten as sub-par, no matter how good it is. So non-crunchy writing gets written on paper instead of typed. With black pen instead of blue. (Because blue signifies "the good stuff.")
So, yeah, maybe a little freakish. I don't rotate my underwear, though ...
Posted by DeAnna | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/20/2005 82:92:7A PM
Okay!!!! First, I do need therapy . . . but DeAnna, at least you make me feel a little better. What a weirdo you are, shifting paper depending on what food you have available.
Watch out, though. The next step is rotating your underwear, saving the lucky underwear for your hard-core writing days. I hope just by me saying it doesn't put the thought in your head . . . . . . . I mean, check your underwear the next time you write something you know is great . . .and then check it again the next time you write something great again . . . you may have lucky underwear and you don't even know it.
Steve
Posted by steve c. | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/21/2005 69:53:2A PM
Sarah-
If I'm working on something big, my empty diet coke cans remain until the bitter end...i'm with ya sister. Maybe we can sit next to each other in the rec room at the funny farm watching soaps and washing down our monkey cocktail of whatever drugs combat this type of insanity with diet coke.
cheers!
Posted by Rebecca, Julie's friend | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/22/2005 11:32:1P AM
As I write this, I am sitting down to a to-do list that includes writing a new article, and already my mind drifts to thoughts of the cashew nuts in the cupboard, or my kids' potato chips (I *never* eat potato chips, except when I'm writing).
<stares suspiciously at her underwear drawer>
Posted by DeAnna | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/22/2005 38:73:6P PM
Steve, I don't have any weird superstitions or strange practices like you do, but I have some suggestions for how to overcome these problems (because they ARE problems since they are disrupting the quality of your life -- oh, wait, I forgot, you have no life!).
If the underwear and sock thing is bothering you, do what I do. Don't wear any underwear or socks. In fact, don't wear any clothes at all. I've decided to do all of my presentations naked.
Hmm. Maybe THAT's why nobody ever invites me to speak.
Posted by Robert J Holland, ABC | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/27/2005 62:33:0A PM
There are enough neuroses in this business to go around!
Uh, Charles, I hope you know I was kidding. I don't do all my presentations naked. I do wear socks.
Posted by Robert J Holland, ABC | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31
DATE: 07/27/2005 79:74:5A PM
In the name of all that is good and holy, let's NOT ask Robert *where* he wears those socks.
Posted by S Neruda | October 16, 2006 4:31 PM
Posted on October 16, 2006 16:31