This is one of those headlines you’ll never see in an employee publication:

“American Express Sues CEO Over $241,000 Topless Bill.”

Unfortunately, that headline did appear on the Chicago Tribune’s Web site this morning. And it ought to make for some interesting moments at the company’s next Town Hall meeting, no?

The story says that Robert A. McCormick, CEO of Savvis, Inc., a communications company, was in Scores, a New York City strip club, with at least three other men. And the four them allegedly ran up a bill of $241,000.

According to a source in the study, it’s relatively easy to run up that kind of tab at Scores’ super elite “President’s Club,” where men “spend thousands of dollars on single bottles of champagne and tip strippers as much as $10,000 for lap dances and for spending time with them.”

The CEO says he was overcharged. He doesn’t deny being there. He doesn’t deny spending lots of the company’s money on strippers and liquor. But he’s pretty darn sure he didn’t spend that much money. So he’s not paying.

So not only is he a scumbag . . . he’s a deadbeat scumbag.

God, would I have loved to have been a fly on the wall when this low life got the news about the bill. I can see him sitting behind his big desk, surfing his bookmarked list of porn sites, when his admin comes in the office:

Admin: “Uh, sir? We . . . uh . . . I mean, I . . . uh . . .the corporate American Express bill just came in.”

CEO: “So? Pay it, Betty.”

Admin: “Well . . . uh, I’m not sure I can, sir. It’s a little higher than normal.”

CEO: “Oh, right. Well, I charged my new swimming pool and accompanying cabana house on there . . . but I’m going to use it to entertain clients, so it’s all legit. Oh, and I also had to put my wife’s trip to Greece on there, but she’s . . . uh . . . going to be doing some research for us over there on global expansion. So it’s cool.”

Admin: “Yes sir, those expenses are certainly understandable. But . . . uh . . . there is also a charge on here from a place called Scores Gentlemens Club, in New York, and it’s . . .”.

CEO: “Oh, that’s okay. Mort and I had to take a couple of clients there. They’re into buffalo chicken wings, and Scores has the best wings in New York City.”

Admin: “But . . . uh . . . the bill is . . . uh . . . $231,000. That seems like an awful lot of chicken wings, sir.”

CEO: “Aaak.” (He throws up onto his mahogany desk.)

And then the loser has to look at the bill. And can you see his dilemma? He knows he was there. He knows he spent some thousands on lap dances and God knows what else.

But he also knows that he is being overcharged (apparently, Scores has a bit of a reputation for overcharging drunk high rollers, and has been sued before).

What does he do? Does he eat it, in order to keep a lid on the whole thing? How does he account for it with the bookkeepers? He knows if he sues, the word is going to get out. And how do you explain to the employees that while they couldn’t get their bonuses last year, the CEO was spending a cool quarter of a million dollars on nudies and booze?

Obviously, the CEO had to go public with it, and hope nobody noticed. But somebody did! And now it’s all over the press.

I just checked out the company’s web site and . . . surprise! There’s nothing there about this mess! Not a word. Imagine that.

Next time, maybe the CEO will learn his lesson and do what all the other executive perverts do when they go to strip clubs: Get a couple hundred bucks worth of singles, so there’s no paper trail.