There are a lot of reasons to like New York City. The shows, the food, the museums . . . it is certainly one of the great cities of the world.
I like it for all those reasons, but also because every time I go to New York to do a seminar, someone from the class sponsors some rounds of drinks at the bar. Every time. Without fail. This doesn't happen at any other city.
And this time it was no different, as the great and wonderful "Anna" offered to pick up the tab (I can't use Anna's real name, in case she was fudging her expense report, and wrote down something like "Dinner with very important potential client" or something, instead of "martinis with crazy bald guy," which is what it really was).
And Anna did it the right way, too. She announced that her company was paying before we ordered, so we could go top shelf. Nothing is more depressing than choosing a lesser quality drink so that I'll have something left out of my per diem for food . . . only to find out after the session that someone else is putting it on their expense account!
Anyway, we were drinking and chatting and chatting and drinking, and we got on to the subject of employees who don't have access to computers.
"My boss calls them the 'Bend and Lift People,'" Anna said. "So at our company, we have the 'Point and Click People' and the 'Bend and Lift People,' and talk about two different audiences!"
I like that a lot. In fact, I like the whole idea of there being different "Tribes" of people in the corporate world. The Point and Click Tribe and the Bend and Lift Tribe are probably the two biggest . . . but I think you also probably have a lot of sub-tribes within those two tribes.
What about:
The Duck and Run Tribe: These people are the ones who always have to "pick my kid up at the dentist" or "have hernia surgery" every time there's real work to be done.
The Crap and Leave Tribe: These are the sons of bitches who come to a meeting, spew forth a lot of "ideas" in order to look smart . . . and leave everybody with a shitload of extra work to do.
The Piss and Moan Tribe: These people are never happy. Never. Ever. You find a lot of these people in corporate design departments, for some reason.
The Kiss and Suck Tribe: These people spend 99 percent of their time kissing ass, in order to get ahead. There is a heavy presence of Kiss and Suck Tribe members in most sales departments.
Sociological note: You often have heavy co-mingling between the Kiss and Suck Tribe and the Duck and Run Tribe. So much so, in fact, that some corporate sociologists make the case for a new tribe: The Kiss and Suck Then Duck and Run Tribe. Sort of like what happens when a Frenchman marries an Italian.
And of course, at any company, there is always one or two individuals, usually found in The Land of Middle Management, who are honorary members of all of these tribes. Though rare, if you keep your eyes peeled at off-site boondoggles and other corporate "retreats," you will find a member of the Duck and Run and Crap and Leave and Piss and Moan and Kiss and Suck Tribe . . . but if you do see one, approach him with caution. They can be very dangerous, if riled.
Comments (10)
What about the Creep and Crawl Tribe?
These are the people who prefer to stay in the background of everything. They creep into any and all projects and then crawl to safety when things don’t move.
or
The Duck and Cover Tribe?
These are the folks who conveniently hide behind co-workers
or
The Stop, Drop and Roll Tribe?
When things get hot, these people stop moving, drop to the floor and roll out of the heat.
Posted by Mark Lindner | October 26, 2005 1:46 PM
Posted on October 26, 2005 13:46
Mark . . .I love em! Especially the Creep And Crawl Tribe . . . I've had my share of run ins with them. Corporate sidlers, staying out of the glare until they're sure everything is turning out perfect, then they leap into the light.
Steve C.
Posted by steve c. | October 26, 2005 1:54 PM
Posted on October 26, 2005 13:54
Or the Pooper Scooper Tribe - cleaning up the other tribes' crap with little or no recognition until the one time they forget a baggie and they get fined.
Posted by Marissa | October 26, 2005 2:14 PM
Posted on October 26, 2005 14:14
You have to come to Montréal, A New York City atmosphere on smaller, yet vibrant scale with a French touch and Joie de Vivre!
There is always someone and places to go for drinks and food - good food, after those long days of meetings.
Santé!
Posted by Sebastien | October 27, 2005 4:30 PM
Posted on October 27, 2005 16:30
Yes, all of these tribes exist in my work place. So many people that don’t even need to come into work keep showing up. We used to have a hiring center that would put all new employees (no matter who you were or what you did) through two days of training and safety and all that good stuff. Well, they shut it down and now management has to do all of this training themselves and therefore it’s impossible to get fired. It’s easier to let people do what they want than to fire and hire someone else.
I praised my wife for cleaning out her office of all these tribes. Her peers constantly told her that you just have to except the fact that people suck at work and you just have to deal with it. Well it took her three years to rid her place of the slackers and her company is thriving and with people that have great ideas and bringing in money she comes home stress free, smiling and family life is better. Good for her!
Now, New York City although a great place to visit (once) is one of the dirtiest, skuzziest, smelliest loudest city I’ve been to. I’ll take Chicago any day. Oh, and that long battle over who has the best pizza? Chicago hand down! Chicago pizza has flavor.
I can see how a bunch of free drinks would be needed in order to make a person think that city is worth a damn.
(Food Poisoning)
Posted by Mario | October 28, 2005 3:57 AM
Posted on October 28, 2005 03:57
Mario I envy your wife. I'm not corporate, just small business, but I maintain that they could get rid of all the negative slackers and pay the good people what they are worth and get just as much work done. It would make me smile a lot more, that's for sure.
Posted by Rebecca | October 28, 2005 8:16 AM
Posted on October 28, 2005 08:16
Well . . . first of all, I am trying to get Ragan to send the seminar to Montreal. But so far, no dice. It's one of the cities I've never been to that I really want to hit.
Now, I'm from Chicago. And in my opinion, it's the greatest city in North America, bar none. But New York is NEW YORK.
To hate New York is to hate LIFE. I could never live there . . . but at least twice a year I have to have my fix.
Steve C.
Posted by Steve C. | October 28, 2005 11:22 AM
Posted on October 28, 2005 11:22
Steve---I pretty much agree: Chicago is my favorite NEW city in N.America....only hope that on my second visit, I won't be so intent on napping as last time and can compete in the Liver Olympics with you.
As long as we're talking about ALL the USA, my favorite city is still Lahaina. I'm a sucker for the middle bar stool at Cheeseburger in Paradise on Front Street that probably still bears my butt grooves from the ENTIRE full day I spent sitting there in Nov. 95. Something about the 11 Bud Lites I drank down the street at the Lahaina Grill later that night holds a soft spot too (soft in the head, hard in the liver).
And I agree on NYC---deserves its own place on the list for sure. =)
Posted by Laurel | October 28, 2005 3:19 PM
Posted on October 28, 2005 15:19
Laurel:
Have you ever heard the Eagles song, "The Last Resort?" Do you know it's about Lahaina? It's really great.
And as soon as you have that baby, we're going to put your liver back to work.
Steve C.
Posted by Steve C. | October 29, 2005 9:47 AM
Posted on October 29, 2005 09:47
Steve C--absolutely love that song! Oh how many times have I wanted to "leave it all behind, sail to Lahaina" =) My poor, shriveled liver, normally the size of a small sedan, now resembles an undersized baby chihuahua. Sometime mid/late next year, I promise to allow you to help me return it to its normal size. =)
PS---watch your email for a pic of my Halloween costume aka Sister Mary Agnes Immaculata.
Posted by Laurel | October 31, 2005 3:11 PM
Posted on October 31, 2005 15:11