Corporate Hallucinations

Steve -

Well, I can't lie, because you have access to my best friend...I was not Prom Queen. I was, however, Homecoming Queen. Sad, but true. But I was still kinda geeky - the dumb one in the honors classes. The girl that the smart boys rolled their eyes at in calculus class. That takes skill my friends.

I love this blog. And working in IT, I have to say I agree with most everything you have just written.

(**Disclaimer: I do not like to lick myself, despite popular belief.)

What people need to remember first and foremost about IT people, is that most of them are pretty introverted and don't want to talk to you. EVER. I am an extroverted IT person, but I'm still going to tell you to EMAIL me. Please. Make that your first line of communication. We will come to you if we have questions, I promise. But don't come to my door and say in some sappy voice "Hi Rebecca. Are you busy? I have a question." In the time it took you to tell me you had a question you could have asked it. And in the time it took you to walk all the way to my office you could have emailed me. I know this sounds mean, but if you've ever been knee-deep in a systems problem or a programming bug, to have someone suddenly appear at your office door is very frustrating. Hence the "you've just asked me to boil the ocean" look. It's like Steve's friend who likes to pop in.

1. We are busy, and we do get a lot of dumb questions. Before you panic, think. Before you reboot 57 times, email us. The most frustrating thing for me is when an end-user calls me about a problem and I ask "when did it start", and the answer is "a couple of months ago". Are you kidding me???

2. LOTS of IT people are incompetent. We used to have one working here. He frustrated us just as much as he frustrated the end-users. Trust me. Not everyone in IT has all the answers. If you're unsure about an answer you've received...do a google search. It's what I do when someone asks me a question and I don't have the answer.

3. AMEN!!! We get lots of assignments and tasks from all over the place. Or we could be planning an upgrade, or testing something. Don't assume that your project is number one on our list just because it's number one on yours.

4. IT people as a rule are not mean. A lot of them that I've met through conferences really don't get it. They don't get the end-user speak, they have forgotten that everyone doesn't know how all of these crazy computers talk to one another. That XML and DNS and IEEE are not acronyms in their vocabulary. They simply cannot communicate outside the geek world. That's why there are people like me. To translate.

5. I guess I'm too small town to ever look at someone and lie to them about anything. Corporate wizard? Hardly. But in the big corporate sheme? I'm sure it happens.

My email inbox is my to do list. When you stop me in the hall to ask me to help you with something, I've forgotten it by the time I reach the server room.

I will gladly attend any peace summit as long as there are martinis and good wine, and great food. :)

I love you, Rebecca. If you and were to spend six hours in a martini bar, we could solve all the problems in the whole wild world.

Or at least we could get insanely drunk and make fun of accountants.

Steve C.

The love is mutual, Steve...

Aw hell, I don't care who we make fun of. We can sit around and make fun of me if we're drinking martinis. There's plenty of material, ask Juls...

Awright, I'll bite. I'm an 8th year IT guy. And I've heard it all. So let's systematically deal with these words you felt so confident in publishing to the void.
"* They usually do not respond when I call them." The problem is that at many shops there is one IT staff for every 75-250 users. If you would like them to respond when you call, that's fine. Just don't expect ANY REAL WORK TO EVER GET DONE EVER. By real work I mean fixing your problem as well as any project work.
"* When they do respond, they do so at their own leisurely pace." See the first point.
"* They can be nice one day and completely indifferent the next." Oh, so you want them to respond immediately to 250 people AND be nice? RUB A LAMP AND MAYBE YOU'LL GET A WISH.
"* They like to lick themselves." If only I could, I'd never leave the wiring closet.
"1. IT people are busy." Yeah. But we still have time to flame people who kick us while we're down.
"2. IT people are truly incompetent." There are many who fit this description. Often they get promoted to management so the capable can actually execute things for them, while psychologically dealing with their incompetent boss. It's freakin' great.
"3. IT people have lots of priorities that don’t include us." This seems to be a misconception that users have. Don't you understand that you are sharing me with 249 other users? Who want things yesterday? This is compounded by our modern two level hierarchy, where you have a VP or Board, and then underneath you have one level that encompasses everyone else. So my boss is my peer, and all my peers are my boss. Basically everyone in the company can change my priorities starting NOW. So I have 1,000 bosses that all want something yesterday. But I'm sorry I'm slow and sometimes mean. I bought an AK-47, and I spend my nights drinking tequila from the bottle and polishing it. Someday, someday...
"4. IT people are mean." We didn't start out that way. We once thought, "Man, it would be cool to have a job working with computers." But now we are psychopaths. You made us.
"5. They act the way they do because they can get away with it." If you have a psychological coping toolkit that you would like to share with IT folks, by all means. Otherwise you should thank your lucky stars that we haven't killed you all. Watch "Glengarry Glenn Ross" and make the connection between sales and IT.
If I sound scary, don't worry, I'm doing much better now. I only work IT part time. I enrolled in college again two years ago, and someday I will escape.

Tim - I am offended that you say my end-users turned me into a psychopath.

I was a psychopath LONG before they got a hold of me.

Ba-dum-bah...ching!

Just my luck . . . I have to have two of the most literate, funny, sarcastic IT people in the world on my blog.

Tim, I just may love you, too.

"If I could, I'd never leave the wiring closet."

That alone was worth the price of admission.

Consider me slapped down. And have fun polishing your AK-47 in the wiring closet.

Steve C.

The Great IT Revolt of 2007 will be the worst bloodbath in history. Mark my words. Vive la revolucion!

Good Lord . . . it turns out I ONLY have IT people reading this blog.

Hey, IT people: Don't you think all communicators suck?????

Steve C.

In addition to the introvert personality trait Rebecca has identified, my dealings with IT professionals over the years have convinced me that with few exceptions they are clueless about business in general.

Like the baseball pitcher who has spent his life honing a 101 mph fastball but can't hit a softball lobbed across the plate by a five-year-old, those in IT know how to make the technology work, but are lost in understanding its impact on business, either pro or con. I'm painfully reminded of this every holiday when after a few stiff bourbons my brother, the network administrator, and I get in a knock down argument over the IT/End user issue.

His life mission is to defend the company from having the system taken down by some idiot end user so everything has to be locked down, regardless that it will jeopardize the efficiency of the rest of the staff - it's not going to happen on his watch by God! I've bestowed on him my own "C" title: CNO - Chief No Officer.

I've literally had IT folks tell me that business impacts of technology aren't things that are really important to them and/or are only secondary in their priority. In many cases I get the "deer in the headlight" look and realize I might as well be speaking pig latin for as much as they understand.

Take my current battle with IT. I have a brand new, state-of-art laptop that is WIFI enabled. Only wireless is disabled because Wireless is Evil according to IT because it isn't secure. My arguments that the whole world is moving to WIFI, and that the only way I can access the internet from home (and thus can increase productivity, not to mention balance of life) is through a wireless network, falls on deaf ears.

Wireless Bad. Dial-up at snails pace Good.

So, I don't/can't work from home or even take my laptop on the road anymore (if you can believe it!) since it's become a useless box of iron when not connected to the network.

And IT professionals wonder why they are this generation's used car salesman reputation wise.

"my dealings with IT professionals over the years have convinced me that with few exceptions they are clueless about business in general"

This is probably true. I have worked at this firm in particular for 4 years and I have no idea what they do on the floor. More importantly, I don't care.

My dealings with business professionals has convinced me that with very few exceptions they are clueless about IT in general.

I have seen "idiot end users" with laptops take down departments for days...let's chalk up the business expense of paying people to sit there and do nothing vs. the work she did from home the night before. I have seen inefficently configured firewalls allow databases with sensitive data to be compromised. What's the business impact of a lawsuit? What's the business impact of losing 4 days worth of productivity AND paying a consultant overtime fees to reinstall said server? You don't think we realize how our position impacts business???

This is why the business people are in business and the IT people are in IT. I'm not exactly sure why people are so surprised when I say I know nothing about the law we practice. I don't expect you to know how to rack up my new IBM, install RHEL4 and set it up to be an internet proxy. This is why we have to work together and figure out how much we each need to know about what we each do and then come up with a plan about how to get the end result.

Not on my watch is right. Do you want to be at the helm of a business deal that ends up costing the company thousands of dollars? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Reminder to all bloggers...be nice to Rebecca. She is a NICE IT person who is on our side and has even helped me out through a fast and furious e-mail interaction in the past.

I don't know about Homecoming Queen, but if there were an IT Queen, I'd vote for Rebecca. In fact, I'm tossing out my Vote for Pedro t-shirt and donning my newly created Vote for Rebecca t-shirt.

Eileen

Yes, Eileen, but will you do the dance?? Will you wear moonboots out on a stage all by yourself and do the dance??

My 8-year-old wears a Vote for Pedro T-shirt...I think he would laugh at me if I asked him to wear a "Vote for Rebecca" shirt.

Actually, there's a need for IT to understand some things about the business and a need for us to understand some things about IT. For example, in the past, we've had our IT staff schedule system outages during critical business operations and you can imagine the fallout on that. As a result, our employee communications team works very hard to help the IT staff be aware of production and operation issues and understand why the timing might not be the best for an IT outage or upgrade installation. We try to help them schedule their system outages and/or upgrades for non-critical times. Of course, we can only do that when we're aware of the situation.

In turn, in our publications - both on-line and print - we try to feature IT improvements and issues. We also give employees information on what they can do to help maintain the integrity and security of our systems. We figure if everyone has a better understanding of each others needs and goals, we'll all work together better.

To help maintain that two-way flow of information between IT and Communications, we not only have an IT person assigned to us to be our conduit to the rest of the IT dept. but also his office is in the midst of ours, not on the IT floor. He's proven his worth over and over again. As far as we're concerned, he's part of the communications team.

Yes, but as Napoleon Dynamite once said, "What are your skills?" And you, Rebecca, have answered that loud and clear. My skills? In high school, I was more the Happy Hands Club ilk. Today, I can fanny about with press releases, but freak out when a pop-up comes on my screen.

Now, can I be "Deb," your campaign manager? Our platform can be saving the ligers. Oh, and more tots in the cafeteria. Sweet!

the sad thing about IT is that people only realizes your existence when something goes wrong.

who will remember IT when everything is working fine?

think about it, steve

"Deb" - more tots for sure!

Colleen - You have an IT person assigned to you? You are very lucky, my dear. That person must be bi-lingual in geek and end-user speak. Too bad all companies can't see the importance of this.

Kenji - I prefer not to be noticed. If I'm being noticed it's because something is going wrong. When I'm doing my job correctly, no one knows I'm around. (Unless I'm trying to whip everybody up and get them out for after-work cocktails) Sometimes we're like an insurance policy. You don't always see your insurance agent either, but when something goes wrong, you want them on the spot, competent and worth the money you pay them.

Yep, Rebecca, we're very lucky to have our own IT guy. He's very fluent in geek and end-user speak and he appreciates the value of both IT and communications. He helps his IT co-horts understand these strange creatures known as communicators and he helps us understand IT land.

As an example of his commitment to taking care of us, he once handled a situation for us while on vacation five states away, in a rural area, using a dial-up connection. We can't say enough good things about him.

It's all true. I am an Accredited Business Communicator AND a Certified Data Processor. I quite regularly hear "thank heavens you're here so we can understand each other!"

p.s. the problem you describe arises because the requirements analysis for IT support *always* underestimates the number and complexity of incoming calls by a factor of at least 10. Not that getting it right would help: no one would ever approve the level of resources required.

So we learn Westheimer's Rule: work out how long YOU think it should take, then double the number and switch to the next higher unit. So your two-day task is their four-week task. This rule of thumb has been accurate for the entire life of the computer industry.

I work in an IT company, so you can imagine the challenges. Clients come first, so the very LAST people to get attention and service are our own people. To wit: We sent out a recent "from the management" email (management's idea, not mine) to employees that replicated itself several times in each employee's mailbox. Guess who got the raft of complaints? Guess who had to explain the vagaries of server upgrades and repliation errors? NOT our IT department.

But in defense of IT people everywhere, I've found them to be mostly good, decent people trying to do the best they can based on what they understand of what we're telling them (which doesn't seem to be much). Maybe Steve can set up a class that the IT types and comms types can attend TOGETHER. We certainly need to figure out how to communicate with them...

For years I've been trying to talk our publishers at Ragan into doing a Communicator/IT Summit like ABG proposes. But I haven't had the courage of my conviction, because I've always worried many more communicators than IT people would show up. Why? Because though IT people are one of communicators' biggest headaches, communicators are only ONE headache for IT folks.

Communicators, do you think, if we let you bring your favorite IT person along to a conference for cheap or even for free, you could get one to come for a little group therapy and mutal understanding, starring Shel Holtz and Tim Hicks as Dr. Phil and Oprah Winfrey?

IT people would you come to such an event, and do you think other IT people would come?

Hi Steve,

I am actually signed up to attend your seminar in san francisco and found out you had a blog. So well wasn't it a nice surprise to see an IT headline ... I manage the communications for the IT dept of my organization and this post just made me laugh.

Ok folks, we aren't all that bad and yes some of us are very competent and we do care... um ok most of the time!

So why do we suck?

There is an obvious lack of knowledge and communications by the business and IT. We are striving to bridge this gap and it is not an easy task. I find that running IT as a business within a business and viewing our employees as customers is a good step to increasing customer satisfaction. I could go on ... but let's just say that I am trying to help our IT dept not suffer from the typical stereotypes (as discussed in this blog)

I am a corporate communicator and an IT person ... and can be very mean! grr!

Rebecca you sound super, and I wish our IT folks were all like you (though we do have some really good ones). I have just one comment that I didn't see anyone else make (and I'm kinda surprised). Rebecca - you tell us to call you before we re-boot 57 times...except every SINGLE TIME I have EVER called IT the first thing out the mouth of everyone on the help desk is: "Reboot and call us back".

Now, I'll admit I have IT friends too, so I know us non-techie people have some pretty impressive "stupid user tricks" but when you're in the middle of a message that your VP feels is critical and your computer has basically become a door-stop, it is hard to be patient with "Re-boot and call us back". However, I'm willing to keep trying to learn each other's language if the IT people are. I mean really, is there an option?

Like Harjit, I'm also a corporate communicator and an IT person.

Harjit -- please feel free to drop me a line at michael.bendel at rich.frb.org if you ever want to toss around ideas on the dual IT/comm role. I tracked down someone who's got a similar role, and she knows someone else, so we could get a virtual mini-network together.

I'd certainly be up for attending a IT & Comm lovefest/kvetchfest/martinifest if one were to take place. I've enjoyed the previous Ragan events I've attended.

My division has a small, dedicated group of IT people, so we don't often have to call upon the larger corporate IT group to help us out. Plus I do internal communications for the CFO of the bank and her division, so sometimes our issues can take priority over others. i am fairly self sufficient when it comes to IT matters and only call upon the IT team when I really need them. I understand and have heard their horror stories about their clients and i don't want to add to those problems. the best part is they have a smaller number of people to support and we are very well supported and truly have no IT complaints. even the woman who provides us intranet support for the two intranet sites we manage has no problem helping with all our special online projects and wants to make her own mark so takes on extra projects to help raise her own profile in the process.

Kristen - since Windows XP - the 'reboot solves everything' is almost obsolete. With Win98 or 95, that really did solve most problems. Usually if I'm asking someone to reboot, it's because I want to try and replicate the problem. Do I get the same error message in the same program after reboot? The subtle difference is that ONE reboot will tell me this...not 57, that was my larger point.

It's rare anymore for me to ask people to reboot first, usually it's exit such-and-such program and restart that program, now what happens?

For me, it's helpful to get an email with specifics. Getting an email that says "My computer is broken" doesn't help me. It's obviously not broken if you're emailing me from it. An email with a valuable subject and a body that says "I was work in XProgram, trying to generate a document and I got an error that says 'You're S.O.L.dll has a segmentation fault'". Note what you're working in when you're working in it. What other programs do you have open? What did you do right before the error occurred? Is this something you normally do every day or is this the first time you've done it? Does the person sitting next to you get the same error if they do the same thing? These are the first questions I ask before I ever tell anyone to reboot. Help me help you.

I always think communication between IT peeps and the gen pop is good.

Wow, I’ve dealt with a few different kinds of IT people. There is the one who has a full time job and does IT on the side, kind of like the independent contractor. So when you have a problem it will be addressed after 5:00pm when you want to go home for the day but this is the only time you will ever see anyone from that company.

They get replaced by the completely independent contractor who (because he works out of his house) will only take your calls and solve problem when he’s (Mr. Mom) not taking care of the baby.

Or the large corporation I work for now who has a contract with a huge company who never sends the same person twice. You never know what you’re going to get. I had a power supply go bad and I was pretty sure I was right on this one. I called the TSC (Tech Support Center) and put in a trouble report and explained what it was. Of course they always show up after I leave. I come in the next day and I find a blue screen and a note on my desk that I need to have the drive re-imaged and I would have to call TSC again and get another trouble ticket. You see, we always save old computers for spare parts and what they did was pull my hard drive and put it into another computer. It being a different board and processor and my hard drive was not set up for this new hardware. I saw my old computer sitting on the floor and in about 3 min I pulled my hard drive and the power supply and put into my old computer and was back up and running. When my co-workers arrived they explained to me that it took two people almost three hours to do what they did which was nothing. So I think it’s examples like this which make us shake our heads at IT people sometimes.

Then you have the ones that know what they’re doing but they always get a better job right away and you never see them again. There replacement is the one that always reformats the hard drive because they really don’t know what’s wrong. I envy the person that dives into a registry and start renaming crap and browses the contents of ini files and10 mins. later your all better.

Can’t live without them…

>Only wireless is disabled because Wireless is Evil according to IT because it isn't secure.

Your organization has good IT people. Wireless is inherently insecure, unless it's configured properly. I won't go into those details here because, well, it's not the right audience.

If your company's sensitive data is compromised via your use of an insecure wireless connection, you won't have to worry about getting your work done... unless that work involves looking for another job.

>My arguments that the whole world is moving to WIFI, and that the only way I can access the internet from home (and thus can increase productivity, not to mention balance of life) is through a wireless network, falls on deaf ears.

The *only* way you can access the Internet from home is via wireless connection? Please justify.
That agument falls on deaf ears because it's just plain silly and grossly uneducated. Folks in the IT department don't have time to explain the OSI model and how wireless *is not* your only option for connecting to the Internet at home.

[There is only one conceivable explanation- you do not have an Internet connection at home (e.g., DSL, Cable, Satellite) and you use your neighbor's wireless router (presumably with permission) to access his connection to the Internet. ]

Ok, as a communications person who needs to straddle the line between communications and IT, I would say there is a general lack of understanding on both sides of the fence. First of all, just as there are people with varying responsibilities in communications, the people in IT also have their areas of expertise. For example, it does no good to complain to the hardware guy about a software problem and vice versa. In addition, some of the end user problems end up being related to user software and software conflicts that may not necessarily be your IT department's area of expertise- they are usually working with operating systems and internal programs. Asking them how to set margins in Word or create a table in InDesign will get you that "look." What most companies should do that they don't, is identify Power Users within the organization that staff can go to with those kinds of problems - this way IT can pay attention to servers, bandwidth, firewalls, programming etc.

Of course, the whole idea of setting up the security system so you can't email graphic files, use an FTP server on the internet, access WIFI, display graphics in email or even install your own fonts on your computer is still in the realm of overprotectiveness, and all I can say is you need to try and show your network administrators that you DO know what you are doing with those things, and they ARE necessary technology for your job.

Me, I have my personal wireless Jornada sitting on my desk to access stuff I can't get through my network desktop.....

Employee Master Class presentation

Did anyone who attened Steve's Employee Master Class actually get a copy of the slides like he said we would. If so, be a dear and pass 'em along. Donna

HI, Donna!

I have tried unsuccessfully to mail these slides to people. But the damn thing is just TOO HUGE. I can't send it without breaking it up into a million pieces.

SO . . . Ragan is in the process this week of posting EVERYTHING we talked about----even the stuff we didn't get a chance to cover, and all the extra stuff I mentioned----on its web site, and will then e-mail everyone a link.

It should happen this week, or next at the very latest.

Thanks for your patience.

Steve

ok

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wow u realy like it people... hope once u will find out what they think about you ;->

maybe remember that u even couldnt write this weblog without some of them.

would be interesting to do an opinion poll with the question who is more important for the society ceo's or it people *g*

have a lot of fun
michi

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