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Self Loathing in Orlando

Sometimes, I’m glad that I’m “only” a communicator, and not a real business person.

Before I explain that comment, you should know that I’m writing this from Orlando, Florida. This is a strange place. People come down here with mouse ears shaved into their heads. People shave mouse ears into the children’s heads. People dream of retiring and then coming to work for peanuts in Disneyland. People are horrible.

Anyway, I’m down here doing an in-house seminar for a big communications company. They flew down all of their internal and external communicators for a big three-day meeting, and asked me to address the employee communicators in one of the breakout session.

It’s one of those gigs that makes you happy to be a consultant. Leaving Chicago’s 18-degree weather for 80 degrees, dealing with very nice people, having the chance to really make a difference . . . everything has been great.

So after the event yesterday, we all meandered out to the bar by the pool, for cocktails and snacks. I ended up talking to Mike, the executive vice president who runs the entire region. Mike is a very big shot at the company, but he was nice enough to come all the way over from Tampa to join the group for dinner, and address them the next day.

Mike is one of those executives who gives you hope for the corporate world. Within five seconds of talking to him, I knew he appreciated the value of employee communications. He does wildly popular Town Hall meetings twice a year, writes a regular column, and does his best to get to as many stores as he can to talk to employees.

He’s funny, irreverent, and not afraid to tell employees the truth.

But people like Mike are not why I’m glad to be a communicator today. No, I’m glad to be a communicator because being a communicator means I don’t have to be Mike.

Let me explain:

In two weeks, Mike told me last night, he has what the company calls his “Opps Review.”

“That’s when I get 20 minutes before the CEO and his team, to basically make a case for why I should keep my job,” he said. (I’m paraphrasing, because I didn’t take notes, was drinking gin and tonics, and there were many distractions swimming around in the pool; but I know this is very close to what he said.)

“You stand up there and you present your quarterly numbers, and then you get grilled,” he continued. “And you better know the background on every number, and you better know the numbers behind the numbers. And if you even try to hide or fudge a number, you’re dead. They will sniff out weakness and grill you on it. I don’t think anyone sleeps very well the night or two before their Opps Review.”

And here’s the really horrible thing: This guy is a superstar at this organization. His region is kicking ass. He’s second in the entire company, and is gunning for the top guy. He should have nothing to worry about . . . and yet he does. Because in business, you’re only as good as your last quarter, and he knows that.

“The joke is, you walk out of your Opps Review and if you survive, you tell people: ‘I got another 90 days,’” Mike told me.

Good Lord, can you imagine the pressure? We communicators like to bitch about approval processes, stuffy lawyers, uncooperative IT people, and boring sources. But when was the last time your job was truly on the line? When was the last time you had to get up and defend yourself to the top person at the company? What a life.

The funny thing, though, is that Mike wouldn’t change any of it.

“I love what I do,” he told me. “I thrive on this kind of pressure. I love kicking ass. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

It was kind of weird to get inside the mind of a real Type A Go Getter. This is the mentality and the competitive spirit that spawns the Donald Trumps of the world.

And I have to admit, I felt kind of small next to the man. In fact, I felt like a little girl. I felt like a 220-pound, fat, bald, baby little sissy boy. I just wanted to slink back up to my room, write my cute little girly blog column, and then crawl under the covers and try not to wet the bed.

Comments (18)

Sonya:

Steve, it's Disney World in Orlando; Disneyland is in California. Just wanted to clear that up.

Is this the in-house session you were discussing at our course in Dallas with one of the other attendees? Just curious...

Also, I e-mailed you the very funny topic of our bar discussion in Dallas right after I got back. Did you get it? If not, let me know and I will send it again.

Sebastien:

You lucky b... soaking up under the Florida sun, good for you. Sound like this guy works for our organization or it is the way to go in the corporate world then I agree with you I much prefer be a communicator.
By the way to answer your question, it is Seb the short form for Sebastien.

I'll e-mail you to get more info on the CCC in April in Chicago.

Enjoy Florida and Mickey Mouse - A true American hero

Steve C.:

Sonya:

<<<<Steve, it's Disney World in Orlando; Disneyland is in California.<<<<

It's SHITWORLD no matter what state you're in. What a horribly disgusting place.

And yes, it is the in-house we were discussing over cocktails . . . and the seminar itself has been great. It's really nice to work for a great company that appreciates employees.

Seb, dude. You have to know how this stuff works. I checked into the hotel Monday night, and never saw the light of day until Tuesday night, for just an hour or so by the pool.

Then I had a VERY good session with the bartender this morning, at the pool bar, about what it's like to work with Disney (yes, they still refer to it as Mousewhitz) and the difference between how Ritz Carlton treats employees versus how Disney treats employees.

Then, I had a terrific limo ride with a Peruvian who can trace his lineage back to the Incas . . . and who owned a huge farm in Peru but got chased out because he stood up to corruption there . . . and now is trying to rebuild everything he lost, by driving a limo and getting into organic farming.

The best thing about travel is the people, I've decided.

Steve C.

"I felt kind of small next to the man"
We've all been there Steve: but sometimes it feels even worse. Sometimes you find yourself interviewing a General or a brain surgeon and then our scribbling lifestyle palls into insignificance.

And unlike the CEO, the brain surgeon will be surrounded by - not yes men or stooges - but younger hero doctors who have just come from saving some kid from a brain tumour.

Move over and give me some of that duvet.

Steve C.:

Oh, God. Marc, I didn't think I could feel any worse. Every once in a while, about twice a year, I get excited about the man I've become.

It lasts about 3 hours.

Steve C.

ShariS:

Steve, I happen to really like your cute little girly blog column...

Kari:

Hey, why does self loathing have to involve being like a girl? Girls rock! There's no shame in being girly.

I would like to echo ShariS' thoughts re: the cute little girly blog column!

So are you going to tell us what the difference is between the way Ritz Carlton and Disney treat their employees?

Timmy:

Steve, the best thing about SHITWORLD is the world part. If you didn't take the time to drink yourself around the world in Epcot, you don't know what you're missing.

Steve C.:

Timmy:

I shouldn't be so hard on Disneyworld. I know a lot of people who just love it. And, truth be told, I didn't even get to see any of the cool stuff. I was in the hotel both days, either working or dealing with computer problems.

Hell, my best friend in the world whom I only get to see about once a year lives in Orlando, and I didn't even have time to see him.

I've heard Epcott Center is wonderful.

And yes, Kari, girls DO rock. I love girls. But when a big man acts like one and feels like one, there are issues. Deep, serious issues.

Steve C.

Rebecca (the token IT person):

Steve -

Sometimes I think about all of the cool things I could be doing, would be doing, should be doing. I'm a small time computer chick at a small time firm. Sometimes I go to conferences and talk to people who are pushing terabytes of data and I think "wow, I don't know anything."

But, I wasn't made for big companies, either. I like my small town firm with 50 people. I have skills the big time geeks don't, people skills, geek skills. Just because I'm not using them on big things doesn't mean they're not there.

Mike couldn't do what you do, great as he is at what he does. Everyone has their niche, everyone makes the world go round...if we were all Mike, what would make life interesting? I'll keep Steve C., and his girly man blog, and the people who post to it and make me laugh. I'm sure Cindy feels the same way.

You caught me in a reflective moment. Okay, that's enought, time to crash the servers....

Tracey:

Steve, you should read "Team Rodent" by Carl Hiaasen if you want some fascinating inside scoop on the inner workings of "Mousewhitz." Talk about a communications empire...

Steve C.:

Hey, thanks Rebecca! What wonderful IT person you are. Please tell me there's not really such a thing as a terabyte of data. Please.

Tracey . . . I'll definitely read that book. I like Hiaasen a lot . . . he's the heir apparent to John D. McDonalds for south Florida mysteries.

Was this fiction or non?

Steve C.

Paul:

I just stumbled on to your blog and I have to admit it touched me. Not in a 'girly-self-loathing' way, but in a 'I-feel-you-dog-I-really-do' way.

Sounds like Mike should re-name his meetings from Opps to OOPs. But as you said, those who can stand the heat in the kitchen have the chance to shine. Those who don't get moved out of the way.

Anyway, thanks for the inspiring prose. I'll continue to expect big things from you.

Neruda:

I am currently reading DisneyWar, about the tenure of CEO Michael Eisner. Halfway thru, and its obvious that whoever HIS ECOM person was should be knighted.

I am a Disney fan. Not a nut, mind you (and those exist, believe me). But as the father of 2 ankle biters (ages 6 and 4), I appreciate a company that no matter how dysfunctional they are internally, at the end of the day brings a lot of joy to a lot of little ones.

Eisner had one of my favorite business quotes actually. From memory, so excuse any inaccuracies: "You dont want perfection. The cost of perfection will put you out of business. What you are shooting for is magic."

-Neruda

Neruda:

By the way Steve, it's EPCOT (one "t") and Ops (one "p" - it's short for "Operations") review.

-Nerrudda

Rebecca (the token IT person):

Sorry Steve - there really are terabytes of data out there. From wikipedia:

A terabyte (derived from the SI prefix tera-) is a measurement term for data storage capacity equal to approximately 1000 Gigabytes. Another way to look at is one trillion (short scale) bytes. It is commonly abbreviated TB.

I can't even comprehend it.

Rebecca (the token IT person):

You want to talk about feeling bad about yourself, I just attended the "Celebration of Life" memorial for a friend's mother. She was an amazing woman. You can read the obit here:
http://www.legacy.com/nwitimes/Obituaries.asp?Page=Notice&PersonID=16664802

Several people stood up and talked about how Audrey had impacted their lives. Person after person told stories of how she would nudge and keep nudging them to pursue and finish their higher education, pursue legislation for children and school rights, smiling all the while. What it should have been was inspirational. At first it wasn't, I couldn't get past the fact that I'm doing nothing worthwhile.

After further reflection I realize it is inspirational. She was 69 when she passed. I have a lot of years to do things, change things, make things happen...

so raise a glass to Audrey and be inspired.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on February 22, 2006 9:30 AM.

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