I am involved in a wonderful project right now. It’s a full-blown communication audit, with focus groups and executive interviews and surveys and vehicle analysis and in-house workshops and everything.
It’s one of those rare projects where everything seems to go right. The clients are fun to be with, there’s the potential to really make some changes, executives higher up on the food chain are on board . . . it’s terrific.
When it’s all over, and if I get the client’s permission, I’ll tell you all about it, because I think there are some terrific lessons to be learned in how to run a good audit.
But in the meantime, I want to share something with you that came out of a focus group I did last week.
The group was filled with blue-collar workers whose tolerance for corporate nonsense was non-existent. You couldn’t spin anything past these boys. My favorite quote came from a guy who had just celebrated his 30th anniversary with the company. He said: "Tell the boys upstairs that if they're going to send bullshit, don't bother. We're too goddamned busy."
These guys were smart, they knew their job, and they knew what they wanted from management and corporate communications.
So anyway, we got to talking about executive communication. And when one executive’s name came up, one of the workers had this to say:
“He knows what he wants, that’s for sure. He’s a real feefo guy.”
“Huh?” I said. “He’s a what?”
“Feefo,” said another guy, and then he spelled it out: “F-I-F-O.”
“And what’s that?”
“F-I-F-O,” he said. “It stands for Fall In or Fuck Off. That’s his management style.”
Now, I had never heard that before. But I kind of like it. I mean, I might not like the executive very much . . . but it’s a cool expression.
And it got me to thinking: Could a FIFO guy really succeed in this day and age? Could a company run by FIFO people actually succeed? Probably not, right? Not in this day and age when “engagement” and “transparency” are so hugely popular. Not when you have so many younger workers coming into the workplace who question any kind of authority whatsoever.
But then, it hit me. What is one of the most successful companies in the world?
Disney! And, from everything I’ve ever heard about Disney’s corporate culture, they are run by FIFOs top to bottom. If the rumors are true, their executives march around the corporate headquarters (referred to as “Mousechwitz") with FIFO arm bands on their brown shirts.
Since so many people want to work for Disney, the company is comfortable telling employees to Fall In or Fuck Off. Because if they decide to fuck off, there are 18 million other people ready to take their place.
All of which gave me a great idea that I’ve already sent to Disney, free of charge:
They should create a character named Fifo. Fifo the squirrel, or Fifo the opossum, or Fifo the dung beetle, or whatever. Fifo could hang around with Donald and Mickey and Pluto at the theme parks and make sure people are having fun.
So, for example, if Fifo The Dung Beetle spots a kid not singing along to “It’s a small world, after all,” then he would leap into action, beating the child about the head and shoulders with a rubber banana, while screaming “FIFO!!! FIFO!!!!!”
Since Disney is a family-oriented theme park, Fifo would never actually say what his name means . . . but children everywhere would know that if you aren’t having fun—blatant, obnoxious, visible fun—you risk getting a visit from Fifo.
What a wonderful aid that would be for parents. As they drag their kid around the park for 14 hours of fun, the minute the kid starts acting up or getting bratty, all a parent would have to do is look off into the distance, squint, and say: "Uh oh . . . I think I see Fifo on his way over here." And immediately the kid would snap back into a Disney frame of mind.
Sometimes, I think I'm a genius.
Feels like Total Recall. Er, Philip K Dick?
Actually, with Steve's example it's a bit scary --- standing at the urinal...

Comments (8)
You are so right that the FIFO approach won't fly in most companies today, but I wish it could because I LOVE it! Personally all this lovey-dovey stuff gets on my nerves. Business is a business, so here's your job and here's what the business needs you to do. If you don't want to do that then kindly refer to the second half of FIFO. I blame Oprah for all this new age junk making its way in the office. I do my job - is it too much to expect everyone else to do theirs?
Posted by Kristen | March 21, 2006 8:10 AM
Posted on March 21, 2006 08:10
I'm glad FIFO doesn't exist in our company. Our execs aren't the only ones who can think and they recognize that. It isn't so much about doing the job, but doing the job in the best possible way...and it doesn't sound like FIFO would ever take that into account. I'm lucky, though. I'm in a company where, at least here at the corporate office, giving 110% is pretty much everyone's personal ethic rather than a dictated standard.
Posted by Susanne | March 21, 2006 8:30 AM
Posted on March 21, 2006 08:30
I think Susanne's right -- the FIFO style sounds like it would stifle creative thinking. I imagine execs at mid-80s Smith Corona probably followed the FIFO school of management.
"Computers? We make typewriters here, son. FIFO!!"
Posted by Jim Harris | March 21, 2006 9:46 AM
Posted on March 21, 2006 09:46
Susanne - I am curious, is your company publicly traded or privately owned?
I am completely in favour of creative thinking, however there are situations where the most creative idea in the world just isn't the right thing for the overall business and frontline employees don't usually have all the information needed to make that decision. Particularly if the company is responsible to shareholders their needs have to be considered and let's be honest -their needs lean towards the bottom line.
I concede that FIFO should be the final step and not the first in the management approach but I still think it has a place in today's business environment as unpopular as it will probably be for some employees.
Posted by Kristen | March 22, 2006 7:23 AM
Posted on March 22, 2006 07:23
Kristen-we are a privately held government contracting firm. When I read Steve's description of FIFO, it made me think that it was the same as "my way or the highway." Certainly our frontline employees who work on military bases don't make corporate business decisions, but we senior managers do have an open door that allows them to say "hey, we think we know a better way." Another thing we have going for us, though, is that our CEO has built trust among employees and solicits input. That way, when decisions are implemented, they don't feel FIFO.
Posted by Susanne | March 22, 2006 7:44 AM
Posted on March 22, 2006 07:44
I agree with Kristen in that there is a time and place for FIFO. But that time and place should come as a final step. An open-door policy that allows employees to give insight, opinions and constructive criticism should be first and foremost. However, once ideas and concepts have been weighed against the bottom-line and what the company is trying to accomplish, then the FIFO attitude is acceptable. If all the powers that be have looked at situations with an open mind and with honesty; and the final decision meets the companies’ goals, mission statement and is “the right way to progress,” then the employees should fall in line. If, after all this, an employee (or group of employees) is/are in opposition, the management certainly has the right to exercise FIFO.
Posted by Mark Lindner | March 22, 2006 8:59 AM
Posted on March 22, 2006 08:59
My problem with the FIFO style of management is it can lead to a corporate culture in which BOHICA is also a common acronym.
BOHICA, which stands for "bend over, here it comes again," exemplifies a culture in which everyone tends to look up, paying the most attention to whatever the senior leadership wants next, rather than down towards supporting the front line, or out towards serving customers.
Employees in a BOHICA culture tend to avoid responsibility, shy away from risk-taking and demonize (or blindly revere) senior leaders. They also tend to look at the ground when they walk, and often have distracting facial tics and unsightly rashes.
Posted by Ron Shewchuk | March 22, 2006 7:35 PM
Posted on March 22, 2006 19:35
I read all comments and found that FIFO system is still exists but it depends what is your geographical region as in my region FIFO system is the base for an organisation and 99% working in fulfledge but I am luck that some how I am in 1% side in my region organisations don't like to create work hallucination.
Posted by raheel | May 16, 2007 1:56 AM
Posted on May 16, 2007 01:56