I am all for it Steve, a meeting around drinks in a cool Chicago bar sounds good... If I make it, to the conference of course. I still have to convince our bean counters on the value of attending and traveling to the conference. You can send me pointers to convince them, I would appreciate it.

If it's a go, this will be my first visit ever in Chicago other then the wonderful, airport which I usually try to avoid, so I'm looking forward to see the legendary Chicago bar scene.

Steve---your sock story SOOOO reminds me of my troubles w/putting on pantyhose for the last 3 months or so (PS---I'm at wk #38 today)....I have to lie on my back like an overturned lady bug or turtle....it's not pretty, nor delicate, nor ladylike or anything, grunts included.

Give me a couple of weeks post-op, and I'll be hitting the gym along with you----baby carrier in tow! =) Good luck. At least you've been able to drink all this time to drown your sorrows---lucky b*stard.

Count me in. I have been drinking heavily through Mardi Gras and don't really see any reason to stop now, so bring it on. I think we should all wear wigs and masks to keep it interesting. But that's just me. Doing the precon but not the postcon.

Laurel, you poor woman! Pregnant women should NEVER be required to wear pantyhose! That's just cruel. Good luck to you!

Unlikely to attend the CCC this year for various reasons, but as one who lives within driving distance, I think this is a lovely idea. Pick a day. We can tackle Shel and force him to admit that "blogs" are the 2006 version of Microsoft "Bob"...

Laura---thanks for your kind thoughts and sympathies! However, I will have the last laugh on all of you come this time next week....no mgmt schmoozing nor questioning why I went into the biz, etc. for 3 solid months...just some good narcotics for a few days (you could get with any bad toothache, actually) and a wee princess to keep for my trouble. =)

Just got the OK last week to attend the CCC, so count me in for the secret meeting/exercise program. I particularly favor 12-oz. curls to keep my biceps looking good.

Greg

Our volunteers have had an e-mail list for a long time. They call their face-to-face meetings "eyelash chats."

I'd love to come to the conference and secret meeting but I work for a desperately poor non-profit organization and I spent my whole professional development budget on the Master Class. Worth every penny but now I need a full scholarship to the conference in Chicago. Anyone know where I can get one?

Laurel, move to Canada - you can have up to a year for mat leave AND you can share it with the daddy! Ain't social democracy great?

Pantyhose are cruel and ridiculous no matter what size/shape you are. They should be outlawed.

As for Canadian maternity benefits, they are quite spectacular. In fact, the year off is almost enough incentive to have a baby...until I return to my senses. After all, they have to grow up sometime.

Steve - will you be coming to Canada anytime soon for a course/class/drinking binge?

Travel is currently being curtailed, but this may be worth footing the Southwest bill myself. Steve, will you be doing a re-enactment (clothing optional)?

Steve, the standing sock installation has also been one of my benchmark measurements of girth density. For anyone who may be inspired to try this technique, please consider these safety measures:

1. Stretch your quads (and secure your package) by first putting on your underwear standing up. WARNING TO JOCKEY SHORTS WEARERS: If you get your big toe caught in the “vent” on its way through, the downward momentum of your foot -- combined with a two-handed grip on the waistband -- could send you headfirst into the corner of your dresser or another sharp object. This is, in the nomenclature of emergency medical technicians, “bad.” Guard against this by facing the foot of your bed. And turn the freaking light on.

2. An early warning sign of an impending groin pull: The first time you pull your knee up and your gut compresses your diaphragm, making you go “WhooOOF.”

3. When you buy new socks, strap them onto a length of six-inch PVC pipe. Leave them overnight. They may fall around your ankles every time you wear them after that, but as Steve observes, tight socks take longer to put on standing up. So until you are a veteran of the standing sock hop, remember: “Loose socks save . . . uh, rocks.” And anyway, if anybody’s razzing you about saggy socks, your pants are too short and/or you are in junior high and shouldn’t be reading this blog.

OK, here's a tres naive question....maternity leave WITH PAY? in Canada? Heck, I'd pop em out like watermelon seeds. Haha no, but it would sure take out the sting. Thanks for the tip though!---here in Tacoma, WA, I'm only about 3+ hours from the border on the way to Vancouver.

Steve - looking for an excuse to come to the city...keep me posted on developments of the super secret squirrel meeting place. I'll talk to Julie, maybe we can make an evening of it! Be sure to email me the handshake...and make sure it doesn't involve socks or pantyhose.

:)

Going to email Julie and have her read the blog.

A year's maternity leave with pay in Canada...it's just too cool. My husband's from Toronto and I keep thinking maybe we should move there before we have kids! Sure beats the 6-weeks with pay, optional 6 additional weeks without pay I will get at my current company. (Of course, I might not be able to find a good job there.)

His best friend's wife had child #1, took a year off, went back to work and got pregnant again within just a few months, had child #2, and then took another year off. So she basically worked one year and got paid for three.

Of course, taxes are pretty high in Canada, which is what allows the government to pay for all that maternity leave. Also, when you get laid off, you get paid a significant percentage of your salary at the job you lost. Not just minimum wage or whatever unemployment pay is here in the States.

My husband hated paying the high taxes, so he has always worked in the U.S. Still, the maternity leave thing sounds nice. I wish companies here could offer more time off!

Aaaaaaand, the 27th totally works for me...it's a Thursday, and if I remember correctly from my college days, doesn't Thursday start the weekend?

I currently am not passing 'the jeans test'. I have been in this fantasy world that I'm not gaining any weight because my jeans still fit me. This facade, however, is fading due to the fact that a) I know I'm lying to myself - jeans are just riding lower, which means I don't have to pull them up over the fatty tissue that is increasing in between my waist and my hips and b) I can see, and actually pinch my own back fat.

The jeans test had been great to this point, but now, things that fit me 6 months ago are no longer in play. Depression is mounting. As much as I love food & drink, these things are not the problem. Could be age, could be hormones...whatever the sitch, it's got to change. Can Cindy become my personal trainer?? I'm sure she would rather light herself on fire than try to pull the both of us out of El Jardin's. Nevermind.

Must.use.gym.membership.

Sad thing for me is that its proven to be fairly easy for me to lose weight. Yeah, I said it. 30 min on the treadmill a day, eating red meat and lots of boiled eggs, and I lost upwards of 60 lbs in a little over 3 months. 230 to 170.

The nutritionist dude who developed the plan I was on actually had me on his "before and after" ads. Would have been nice if he *asked* me for permission first of course...

Problem is, it is equally easy for me to gain that same weight. And I love to eat. Is that a crime?

Im thinking of going on another "short term losing streak" - after all, bikini season is right around the corner. Can't seem to find the motivation however... or the ostrich meat that is the secret key to the weight loss effort (seriously - it fills you up, takes care of the hunger, and has next to no calories. And is crazy delicious).

One of these days....

Maybe Neruda shouldn't come to the super secret meeting...I might whack him with a blunt object...like my hand.

He's like blah-blah-blah- fat slobs - I can eat whatever I want - blah-blah-blah.

The 26th could also work - just got to clear it with the husband so he can pick up the kids.

Oh, certainly no blah blah blah on this end. I put all the weight back on, and in record time to boot.

Its just that I seem to have found the right combination of things that my metabolism reacts to. In a word, stop doing everything you like doing (like eating sugar), and start doing everything you hate (like the treadmill).

For me, it really was that simple. For those 3 months, I drank nothing - NOTHING - but water. Ive never been into booze or coffee so that was easy, but no pop, no DIET pop, no nothing.

And that treadmill thing was every day. Every. damn. day. Never missed one. Based on my schedule, sometimes it was 11pm at night, but I did it. And it worked. Some folks say after 2 weeks, its a habit, or you will start to look forward to it, yada, yada, yada. Bullshit. Hated it on day one, hated it on day 100. But since it was working (I was obsessive about weigh-ins) I kept at it. Swearing all the time.

That's not to say that overall it was easy, but neither was it particularly difficult. I figured compress the pain into 3 months, rather than drag it out. Then I tried to moderate, then the bottom fell out.

But, I figure the same program will work again. Certainly the science is the same (calories in, calories out). Just have to work up the gumption to commit to it.

Okay, was really doing okay with the visual of Steve sans clothing, save his socks. But the idea of Neruda in a Speedo has pushed me over the edge.

And Laurel...I'm in Southern Oregon. Doesn't that qualify Ragan to plan a Portland/Seattle workshop? Must we fly everywhere????

Any day for a super secret meeting works for me since I am staying until Saturday night!! I've been dying to get back to Chicago ever since the Ragan Boot Camp.

There's just never any good reason to NOT drink. Steve, if you're on a health kick maybe you could just drink Bloody Marys. All the booze and veggies you need.

Mat leave in Canada is NOT full pay. It is about 55% of your gross earnings. But, if you work for a "fat cat" government agency or department (for example, like teachers or police officers) they often provide you with "top up" benefits so you can collect around 80% of your salary while on mat leave.

Trust me, it ain't free. Nothing here is. People just accept the fact that you're lucky if you go home with 60% of your paycheque after all the deductions for income tax, employment insurance, Canada Pension Plan, etc.

And don't get the guys started about work experience. If guys say they have 10 years experience, they usually do. Technically, a women's resume can show 10 years of employment, but if they had two kids they could have only 7.5 years of experience (if you have complications before your pregnancy, or a doctor's note, you can leave work even earlier and collect unemployment insurance until the baby is born - then you collect maternity benefits).

As for all of those that want to shed some pounds, ignore the propaganda of the dairy industry and remove dairy from your diet. You'll shed pounds at a healthy rate and be better off for it. Dairy is desiged to increase a calf's weight by hundreds of pounds in a year. Is it really any wonder why PEOPLE get fat eating it? And no, I don't work for PETA.

***quickly signs off after stirring the pot***

Steve,

Judy and I look forward to seeing you in Chicago for the Ragan Awards, although we won't make the secret meeting. We are just ducking in and out!

Best,
Sonya