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We all need to go to London. And we need to go soon.
To be honest, I’m going there anyway, to teach my Master Class, on October 26 and 27.
If you’re a communicator, that alone should be reason enough for you to go, because this is a revamped, souped-up, turbocharged version of the Master Class.
We’re going to be doing all kinds of cool things with podcasts, blogs, wikis, and Social Media . . . and we’ll also spend a good chunk of time on all the traditional topics—writing, editing, print publications, employee engagement, integrating print and online, and face-to-face communication.
I’ve got great, practical ideas from more than 50 global companies, so you should go to London just for that.
But . . . there’s a more important reason to go. A much more important reason.
You should go to London with me to stand up and strike a blow for freedom. Yes, that’s right: Freedom. I can’t put it any plainer than that.
In light of the recent terrorist plot to blow up planes taking off from Heathrow Airport, we all need to go to London to show our support for the Brits, and to let the terrorists know that we will not cave in to their threats!
London’s tourism business will no doubt take a hit because of these threats, and if we let that happen, then the terrorists will be one step closer to stripping us of the one thing we can’t afford to lose: our freedom.
Yes, I know it’s a hassle to fly into and out of London right now. It was also a hassle to storm Normandy beach. But that didn’t stop the Allies in World War II, and it shouldn’t stop us now.
I myself will have to fly all the way to London without my iPod and my flask. Have you ever tried to make it through a seven-hour international flight with no iPod, and no flask? Well, who cares if you have . . . I haven’t.
And I don’t want to try. But I will. Because if I don’t, it means the terrorists will have won. Yes, that’s right. And if giving up my iPod and my flask of gin will in some small way help us and our allies defeat the terrorists, then I am willing to do it.
If there was a beach to storm, I would storm it. But there isn’t. So instead I’ll fly to London without my iPod.
And you should feel the same way.
It is up to us . . . all of us . . . to go to London and do our part.
And how can we do our part? By not only going to London, but by spending lots of money in London, to help shore up the British economy.
I myself plan to spend as much of Ragan’s money as I can, in as many pubs and restaurants as I can, because by doing so I will strike a blow against the Islamic fundamentalists who would strip us of our freedoms, and our lives, if we let them.
This is the biggest war since World War II. And do you remember the words of that great leader, Winston Churchill, as England faced its darkest days? The great man said:
“We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, she shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.”
Well, Churchill and the Brits and America’s Greatest Generation did their part. Now it’s our turn to do ours.
And to do that, we must all go to the Master Class in London. Together. And spend money.
Let us not waver. Let us not falter. Let this be our Churchillian battle call:
We shall drink until closing time, we shall drink at breakfast with our bangers and mash, we shall drink in Soho, and in Kensington, we shall drink on the banks of the Thames, and in Piccadilly Circus, we shall drink in pubs large and small, we shall drink with confidence, we shall drink our way out of hangovers, we shall drink ale and lager and dry English gin, we shall drink and drink whatever the cost may be; we, too, shall never surrender.
And if you happen to live in London already, you can still do your part by coming to the Master Class anyway—because I have it on very good authority that the terrorists hate the Master Class. So by signing up you will irritate them and at the same time strike a blow for freedom.
And to those of you who would say this is a shameless exploitation of a very real terror threat in order to get more people to sign up for the Master Class . . . shame on you. That is just the sort of thing a terrorist would say.
This isn’t about me. It’s not about Ragan. It’s not about our London partner, one of the smartest communicators you’ll ever meet, Marc Wright.
No . . . this is about courage. It’s about refusing to buckle to fear. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself . . . that, and having to fly for seven hours without an iPod or a flask of gin.
And we cannot, we must not, give in to that fear.
There comes a time in every person’s life that he must stand up and make a choice.
My choice is to go to London and soak myself in Boodles gin, because the terrorists hate London, and they hate Boodles gin.
Who will go with me?
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Feels like Total Recall. Er, Philip K Dick?
Actually, with Steve's example it's a bit scary --- standing at the urinal...
Comments (22)
I damn near stood up next to my desk and started humming God Save the Queen, Steve! Also got a clear vision of Bluto in Animal House giving his little pep talk to the Delta House before storming off to massacre the parade. Very good, tally ho, watch your knickers, etc. =)
PS--Sorry I cannot come to London--baby and I are still attached, ifyaknowwhaddimean. I could leave her at home, but that would involve an enormous pressure build-up and explosion of the anatomical sort. Not a pretty thought. Have fun in my stead!
Posted by Laurel | August 15, 2006 7:17 PM
Posted on August 15, 2006 19:17
And did our Steve in modern times
Walk upon England’s mountains green?
And was the messenger of truth
On England’s pleasant pastures seen?
And did his balded pate Divine
Shine forth upon our clouded hills?
And was his workshop builded here
Among these dark Satanic Mills?
Bring me my mouse of burning gold;
Bring me my lecture of Desire;
Bring power points; O clouds unfold!
Bring me my case studies of Fire!
I will not cease from Mental Fight,
Nor magic markers sleep in my hand,
Till we have built strategic plans
In England’s green and pleasant Land.
Posted by patrick williams | August 15, 2006 7:41 PM
Posted on August 15, 2006 19:41
Wow. Patrick Williams is so.... like.... poetic.
Who says this blog isn't full of serious cultural stuff? :-)
Posted by Robert J Holland | August 16, 2006 7:29 AM
Posted on August 16, 2006 07:29
Patrick:
That brought a tear to my eye . . . and brought to mind "England, My England," by William Henley:
What have I done for you,
England, my England?
What is there I would not do,
England, my own?
Would I not come to the Master Class?
Would I not drink your many watering holes?
With your glorious eyes austere,
As the Lord were walking near,
Whispering terrible things and dear
As the Song on your bugles blown,
England—
Round the world on your bugles blown!
Let us to England, Patrick . . . where we can blow the Master Class bugles for all the world to hear!
Laurel: While staying home with your newborn baby is admirable, I'm quite sure that you don't want to raise your baby in a world run by terrorists . . . and that just may happen if you don't come to London with me.
I understand the child is still suckling at your bosom . . . pump it, bag it, ice it, pack it, and check it through to London.
We have a war to win.
Steve C.
Posted by Steve C. | August 16, 2006 7:33 AM
Posted on August 16, 2006 07:33
"Once more into the breach, dear Steve, once more.
Or close the wall up with our English dead." (Henry V)
"England! Awake! Awake! Awake!
Crescenzo thy brother calls!
And will thou sleep the sleep of death?
And close him from thy ancient walls?" (Blake)
Posted by patrick williams | August 16, 2006 7:54 AM
Posted on August 16, 2006 07:54
This royal throne of Steve, this scepter'd isle,
This earth of seminars, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, workshop-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for his talks
Against bad writing and the hand of war,
Oh happy attendees; This master class,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall,
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of competitors,
This blessed plot, this class, this Steve, this England.
(Richard II)
P.S. To sound the cultural note suggested by Robert, over there, what we call "bishop and actress" jokes, will be "vicar and tart" jokes, e.g., "Bridget Jones' Diary."
Try to get it straight (as the vicar said . . .).
Posted by patrick williams | August 16, 2006 8:26 AM
Posted on August 16, 2006 08:26
Steve'll be in London in the morning.
Dressed up and looking in his prime.
Girls, come and kiss him
Show how you've missed him
But get him to the pub on time....
Posted by Sean Williams | August 16, 2006 9:28 AM
Posted on August 16, 2006 09:28
I'll never know,
What made his class exciting.
How all at once, the room took flight.
I only know when he
Began to teach to me
I could have learned, learned, learned -
All night.
Sean - How are things at Goodyear? - PW
Posted by patrick williams | August 16, 2006 9:42 AM
Posted on August 16, 2006 09:42
No, you've all got the wrong song. :)
No editing of lyrics needed. Steve's philosophy is completely covered in Chumbawumba's "Tubthumping".
http://www.lyricsondemand.com/c/chumbawambalyrics/tubthumpinnlyrics.html
Although I do like the "Jerusalem" lyrics...perhaps we could get Emerson, Lake and Palmer to re-record it for us.
Posted by Darin | August 16, 2006 10:01 AM
Posted on August 16, 2006 10:01
Think Spiral Staircase's haunting anthem might be more apt:
So how can you tell me you're frustrated,
And say for you your publication don't shine?
Let Steve take you by the hand
And lead you through the class in London.
He'll show you some things
To make you change your mind.
Posted by patrick williams | August 16, 2006 10:16 AM
Posted on August 16, 2006 10:16
What can we Brits say? We are overwhelmed by your support. But as I wipe a Churchillian tear away let me say only this:
Just don't leave it too late - we don't want you all turning up half way through the second half like last time!
Posted by Marc Wright | August 16, 2006 11:42 AM
Posted on August 16, 2006 11:42
Never fear. The airlines are now allowing iPods, and you can order drinks on the plane. I just can't believe Ragan is setting you loose in London.
Posted by Joanne | August 16, 2006 11:53 AM
Posted on August 16, 2006 11:53
Marc:
Touche! We'll try to get there on time this time around.
Steve C.
Posted by Steve C. | August 16, 2006 12:53 PM
Posted on August 16, 2006 12:53
***pump it, bag it, ice it, pack it, and check it through to London.***
Weren't they just having concerns about traveling w/liquids or something? (sorry I don't pay heavy attn to the terrorism news). I'd better get some La Leche League body guards, and I think I may be AOK. =)
Posted by Laurel | August 16, 2006 2:44 PM
Posted on August 16, 2006 14:44
How intimidating. I know that bad dream about being the third player in Jeopardy is going to come back. "I'll take female 16th century English authors for $1,000, Alex."
You guys make me feel like I've got a liberal arts education . . . wait. I do. Maybe that's why I know that Tubthumping song.
Posted by Kevin Snow | August 16, 2006 3:42 PM
Posted on August 16, 2006 15:42
Well, with all this peer support, Anglo-phile allusions, gin on the flight, iPod allowed, your incomparable expertise, etc., I don't see why you can't have a relaxing trip, Steve. Best wishes for a successful class.
By the way, have you seen promos for this movie opening tomorrow? "Snakes on a Plane," or something like that. F.Y.I.
Posted by patrick williams | August 17, 2006 9:09 AM
Posted on August 17, 2006 09:09
Patrick - with the executives, accountants, legal "people" and managers Steve has dealt with through the years do you really think a few actual snakes on a plane would bother him??
Particularly if he's had his usual quota of "relaxation juice", I bet he'd sleep right though any altercations our slithery friends might cause.
Enjoy London Steve!!! Wish I was going too.
Kristen
Posted by Kristen | August 17, 2006 4:45 PM
Posted on August 17, 2006 16:45
Catholic tradition has it that my patron saint, Saint Patrick, expelled the snakes from Ireland (with the obvious symbolism of expelling evil). The Emerald Isle remains snake-free to this day. Steve - could you do the same for England in your copious free time while you're over there?
An idle mind is the devil's workshop, and idle hands, his tools. Pack your crosier and miter.
Posted by patrick williams | August 18, 2006 12:15 PM
Posted on August 18, 2006 12:15
Boodles? Jesus, Steve, haven't you ever heard of Beefeater?
Posted by Will Daniel | August 18, 2006 12:24 PM
Posted on August 18, 2006 12:24
Did Patrick just say Catholic?
F.Y.I Apparently the snakes are on a plane now.
Posted by AN | August 18, 2006 2:28 PM
Posted on August 18, 2006 14:28
Poetry on Steve's blog? Now I've seen everything. But hey! I can do that high-brow stuff, too:
There once was a writing adviser,
Whose thirst could consume a whole geyser.
But the Brit beer is hot,
More often than not,
Making Steve much sadder Budweiser.
I have not sympathy for you Steve, only hope the unsuspecting Brits know what they are getting into. I just crossed the pond and there was no shortage of beverages on the plane. Just the usual shortage of space, service and good manners.
God Save the Queen (and I'm not talking about my brother-in-law)
Posted by Suzanne Salvo | August 18, 2006 5:21 PM
Posted on August 18, 2006 17:21
Hi Steve,
I just returned to London from a trip to Hawaii, which began the day the latest terror plot was uncovered. It was a lot easier getting back than it was getting out that day. Forget water, eyedrops and all the other banned substances, it was the iPod I couldn't do without for the 11-hour flight to LA (got it back for the next leg). It was hell. Especially after I had downloaded the first two seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer just to get me through the flight.
Anyway, we'll make sure the pubs and bars stock up on gin before you arrive. Looking forward to seeing you.
Posted by Barbara Gibson | August 22, 2006 5:12 AM
Posted on August 22, 2006 05:12