Corporate Hallucinations

I'm convinced most new corporate "philosophies" are born exactly as your client described it. Do you really think Six Sigma was originally called Six Sigma? I can think of a dozen mistranslations, some of which are socially acceptable.

And don't worry about the Poles. The Mouse is a universally understood icon.

Hi, Steve:

I gave that talk you're giving in Warsaw two years ago - great hosts, nicest people I've ever met, very interested in the relationship of communication to free markets, as were also the citizens of Athens 2,400 years ago when Aristotle codified his observations on free markets and elections in his "Rhetoric."

Before I went, I read a brief history of Poland, which served me well, and asked a Polish friend to teach me to say "Hello" and "Thank You" in Polish - amazingly, that's all I needed. Sad city - razed by the Nazis ("Schindler's List"),full of plaques to the previous pope and drenched in vodka.

As an American abroad, my main impression was the depth to which, even in their courtesy, foreigners despise the president as a murderous, uneducated, ill-mannered cowboy. Either they're all wrong or something's wrong here. I'll leave that one to you.

On the translation of your talk in Warsaw - wait for the laughs. I recall a Larson cartoon in which Lincoln is delivering a speech and it reads: "Then the bartender says, 'Hey - that's not a duck.' (Wait for laughter.) For score and twenty years ago . . . "

Hi, Steve:

I gave that talk you're giving in Warsaw two years ago - great hosts, nicest people I've ever met, very interested in the relationship of communication to free markets, as were also the citizens of Athens 2,400 years ago when Aristotle codified his observations on free markets and elections in his "Rhetoric."

Before I went, I read a brief history of Poland, which served me well, and asked a Polish friend to teach me to say "Hello" and "Thank You" in Polish - amazingly, that's all I needed. Sad city - razed by the Nazis ("Schindler's List"),full of plaques to the previous pope and drenched in vodka.

As an American abroad, my main impression was the depth to which, even in their courtesy, foreigners despise the president as a murderous, uneducated, ill-mannered cowboy. Either they're all wrong or something's wrong here. I'll leave that one to you.

On the translation of your talk in Warsaw - wait for the laughs. I recall a Larson cartoon in which Lincoln is delivering a speech and it reads: "Then the bartender says, 'Hey - that's not a duck.' (Wait for laughter.) Four score and twenty years ago . . . "

Hi, Steve:

I gave that talk you're giving in Warsaw two years ago - great hosts, nicest people I've ever met, very interested in the relationship of communication to free markets, as were also the citizens of Athens 2,400 years ago when Aristotle codified his observations on free markets and elections in his "Rhetoric."

Before I went, I read a brief history of Poland, which served me well, and asked a Polish friend to teach me to say "Hello" and "Thank You" in Polish - amazingly, that's all I needed. Sad city - razed by the Nazis ("Schindler's List"),full of plaques to the previous pope and drenched in vodka.

As an American abroad, my main impression was the depth to which, even in their courtesy, foreigners despise the president as a murderous, uneducated, ill-mannered cowboy. Either they're all wrong or something's wrong here. I'll leave that one to you.

On the translation of your talk in Warsaw - wait for the laughs. I recall a Larson cartoon in which Lincoln is delivering a speech and it reads: "Then the bartender says, 'Hey - that's not a duck.' (Wait for laughter.) Four score and seven years ago . . . "

I hired an editor a few years ago to edit our magazine for insurance agents called Agent Exchange. Our first conversation was over the phone. After we hired him and he was here a few months, he confided that from that initial conversation he and his wife were really excited about the job because of the prospect of traveling abroad.

"What are you talking about? We're not international. Hell, we're not even national" I said.

"I know that now, but when we first talked, I thought you interviewing me to be editor of Asian Exchange."

Steve, are you using visuals in your presentation? Photos are instantly understood by everyone on the planet and need no translation. International communication is a tricky thing. Just translating words seldom conveys the correct meaning. Like the time we were in rural Indonesia where clean water and sanitation is a real problem. On the door of the hotel restaurant was a letter by the manager, translated into three languages. Besides hyping the fishhead curry special, the english version said the manager was pleased to inform restaurant diners that he had personally passed all the water served.

Steve,
The story your friend said is a prime example of why you (generally speaking here) should always ask a lot of questions when developing a campaign, brainstorming, meeting someone for the first time, etc. It's not easy to know which questions to ask, but if you ask enough, all will be answered.
Great story.
Mike

Global communications are like trying to hit the bulls-eye on a dart board after a bottle of Riesling. The target moves without rhyme or reason.

When I was with my former employer, a global tech company, my team was charged with developing the interactive “Holiday” card.

As we all know, the Greek God Politicocorrectalis has been lording over corporate communications since he won a game of Connect Four against Zeus. So any mentions of color, creed or gender were instantly deemed verboten. Hmmm…so what do we say for this message?

Since this was 2001, we decided a message of peace or at the very least solidarity would be an appropriate feather in the cap of a very turbulent year.

So, I crafted a beautiful message and our Flash designer added some nice snow flakes gently falling to the ground for a touch of ambience.

The day after we sent out the message the flood of calls and e-mails came gushing in. “Alo Mates, it’s summer here in Oz, ow about some sandy beaches next year”, wrote one perturbed customer from Australia. “It hasn’t been a turbulent year for the entire world ey?”, chortled a heartless bastard from Canada.

So now references to climate and world events will get you a firm talking to by the good taste Gestapo. Whatever shall we do?

Golf! Yes, everyone loves golf, especially fat bald white guys in suits, which is our target audience. Because only fat bald white guys rise to the level of purchasing power to rubberstamp the exorbitant cost of our products. So how can we tie in golf to the Holidays in 2002? A game! A Flash based game of mini-golf.

I pull out my Laugh-In thesaurus of bad puns (thank you Nick at Nite), and start tying golf to the “holidays”. The Flash developer likewise starts putting in obstacles based on the same theme. Hit Santa with the ball and he gives a hearty Ho-Ho-Ho, whack the menorah and the candles come on, bump the Kwanza bush and it plays traditional African music. We even built two courses one with a winter theme and the other based on the sunny shores of the Southern Hemisphere.

January 1, 2003 after a restful break we come back once again to a flood of e-mails. “Golf and the Holidays how utterly gauche”, came a response from our friends on the little island across the pond. “Kwanza is an African-AMERICAN holiday you fools”, was written by an irate individual, who I guess had a hard time negotiating the shrub and was pulling in bogeys.

When August 2003 rolled around, my boss came over to my cube and told me it was time to work on our Holiday message again. I told him I would send him an e-mail shortly with my initial pass. When he opened the e-mail it simply read, “Let’s play it safe this year:

Happy December!

The morale? When it comes to international communications, craft your message carefully. Political correctness has not only permeated the global stage it has devoured it.

Steve,

This post? Laugh-out-loud funny. Never thought I'd find corporate communications quite so amusing...

Speaking of which, because you entertain me so, I'm featuring your blog on mine for BlogDay 2006. The post should be up in a little while at http://www.theinadvertentgardener.com.

Thanks for keeping me entertained, and for your great insights. I won't mention where I work, but I will mention that we use your material as back-up in plenty o'meetings with clients!

Genie
The Inadvertent Gardener

I don't usually respond to things like this -- but just one observation. If chaps had asses, they would be pants.

My personal favorite lost in translation moment is my friend Brenda, an incredibly intelligent physician who lived and worked in Honduras until 15 years ago. When she first moved to the states, she was invited to a number of physicians' homes for dinner. And when she went to get a card, she kept buying sympathy cards because she had found her dinner to be "simpatico" - agreeable, likable. Finally, after the 10th or so, some kind woman explained her error. Now I buy her sympathy cards instead of thank yous all the time.

Rob, try two bottles of Riesling and report back A.S.A.P.!

I don't know, Rob, is that political correctness rearing its head, or were you simply getting chastised for not knowing your audience?

My experience is that even when the language is the same, cultural differences can unexpectedly skew meaning. We have worked on multi-national projects where interpreters where used to "translate" Japanese-accented English to French-accented English to South American-Spanish English, etc. But it wasn't just the thick accents that made English to English communication hard.

My favorite story illustrating this point is of an Australian editor I know who moved with her oil industry husband to Midland-Odessa, Texas. After the welcoming dinner at the boss's house they were waving goodbye from their car when, from the front porch the boss's wife exclaimed, 'ya'll come back now, hear.' So she did. She got out of the car and went up to mystified boss and wife on their porch!

I think you're absolutely correct Diane, we had no clue how our audience would respond to a message from the "heart".

Every other year we just slapped the corporate messaging inside a card along with whatever graphic represented the company at the time.

I don't want to hijack Steve's post, but I would like to ask some of the more seasoned professionals on this board how they have overcome this issue.

Can you have fun with a global audience or must you be so vanilla that your copy will blend into a snow bank?

Rob - Steve expects, and rather likes, when people hijack his posts...less typing for him. :) And more importantly good discussion. I'm actually really interested in the answer to your question, so I hope it sparks something here.

Steve - you should be sure they can correctly translate skittering testicles...begin interviewing translators immediately.

AAAAAAnnnnnd, for those of us living vicariously through you - please keep a food/wine journal on your trip. You are bound to be eating and drinking so much great food & beverage - polish vodka! mmmmmmmmm...vodka...I don't want you to forget anything. And then you have to post about it. Please?

Whoever Chuck is...he's my new hero. Excellent point on the pants.

Forget the international communication! I have enough trouble just getting the IT people to speak something close to regular English with the business units. Talk about lost in translation...

Great to hear that you are joining us in Barcelona for the IC Conference, Steve!

Very funny! And thank you for your comment on NY IABC Chatter. I posted a response. By the way, I've read your material for years and gotten so much out of your musings and meanderings. Thank you -

You don't have to go international to have a communications mix-up. Shortly after being hired at my last job, my boss, a former Georgia belle who still had her Southern accent, told me we were going to have a company lunch. The main course would be bold shrimp.

I was flummoxed. Bold shrimp? Did they wear little vaquero hats and try to stab you with little plastic forks? Were they taking dangerous chances? Were they cooked in Tabasco sauce?

After a minute or two, since I couldn't figure out what bold shrimp was, I asked her, and she replied, "Bold, b-o-i-l-e-d, bold."

Ah, Poland. Ahhh, vodka. The cultural experience of drinking in Poland is definitely dictated by what generation you belong to. Anyone under 40 avoids vodka, unless they're at a wedding, in which case there's a liter on every table that is magically restocked every time it's drained. Oh, and weddings last until 6 a.m. in most cases. Good times.

The under-40 crowd in Poland drinks beer almost exclusively now...really great Polish beer. Steve, check out Tyskie, Okocim, Zywiec, or EB. All winners. All classics. P.S. If you like something you find there, odds are pretty great you'll be able to get it here in Chicago too.