This Social Media/Web 2.0/blogging thing has gotten out of hand.
There was a story yesterday in the Chicago Tribune about how people are now bringing their computers to bed with them so they can “stay connected.”
The story carried the clever headline, “Menage a Trio.” And it tells the story of a doctor and his wife who both carry their laptops to bed with them:
“Dr. Enoch Choi, 36, and his wife Tania, 33, who have been married 10 years, both take laptops to bed to write their blogs,” the story tells us. “I suppose I started the trend,” said Choi, a physician in Palo Alto, Calif. “But now my wife is just as much the nighty-night PowerBook key-banger, blogging away for her friends.”
Good lord. Nighty-night PowerBook key-banger, blogging away for her friends?
Doesn’t anyone talk anymore? Or have sex? If there is any banging going on in the bedroom, can we all agree that it should have nothing to do with computer keys?
Here’s another quote from the article:
“Tania Choi, a computer interface designer, said she used to be offended by gadgets in the bedroom. 'I don’t even have a TV in the room,' she said. But now, 'it’s one of those weird modalities of intimacy I’m just going to have to reconcile myself to.'”
It’s one of those weird modalities of intimacy that I’m just going to have to reconcile myself to?
Who the hell talks like that? I guess computer interface designers do. And people who blog in bed instead of having sex do.
Can you even imagine the conversations that take place in that household, as they both sit in bed with their laptops?
Enoch: Dear, there’s an interesting article on this blog I just found, about how anal sex is a viable alternative to the standard vaginal option.
Tania: Sigh. I knew this day would come, Enoch. I guess anal sex is one of those weird modalities of intimacy that I’m just going to have to reconcile myself to. Well, maybe I'll get a blog item out of it. To execute the procedure, will you be using an actual part of your anatomy, or a gadget of some sort? You know that I am somewhat offended by gadgets in the bedroom. Except for my PowerBook, of course.
Enoch: I realize that, dear. I will be using one of my own appendages for said procedure.
Tania: Fine. Let me finish this riveting blog item I’ve started about pruning the shrubbery and then we can begin. How would you like me positioned?
They begin the procedure, but Tania finds this particular modality a little too intimate.
Tania: Enough!
Enoch: Yes!
Tania: I said, Enough!
Enoch: Yes Yes!!
Tania: Stop the procedure immediately. Didn’t you hear me say enough?
Enoch: Oh. Sorry. I thought you were shouting my name.
I make a solemn vow to anyone who reads this blog: I will never write an item in bed. You shouldn’t be picturing me in my bed. Nobody should be subjected to that.
Comments (11)
Steve - you've sent images of skittering testicles dancing through our heads...you've talked about your new employee showering policies and likened yourself to a wet naked seal - do we really have lines anymore that you dare not cross???
I, for one, have no problem with you blogging from the boudoir (like the alliteration?) - I demand T-shirts immediately that say "Blog Naked" or
"Co-Ed Naked Blogging - nighty night key banging"
"Co-Ed Naked Blogging - gadgets create intimacy"
"Co-Ed Naked Blogging - batteries not included"
"Co-Ed Naked Blogging - the power is in your lap"
Surely we can come up with others, can't we???
Posted by Rebecca (token IT Goddess) | September 6, 2006 9:49 AM
Posted on September 6, 2006 09:49
Can't stop laughing. For those of you that know me, you know I'm disturbing the whole office right now.
"Oh. Sorry. I thought you were shouting my name"
Flipping HISTERICAL!
Posted by Jew Jew B | September 6, 2006 10:09 AM
Posted on September 6, 2006 10:09
That was a classic, Steve. Maybe you *should* be blogging in bed...
Posted by Meredith | September 6, 2006 11:52 AM
Posted on September 6, 2006 11:52
At least they were actually talking and not IM'ing each other .. WEREN'T THEY?
Posted by Tim | September 6, 2006 12:45 PM
Posted on September 6, 2006 12:45
Enoch was just a little too close to eunuch for me---yeesh.
I'm adopting a new phrase for when I overdo in the face of obvious distaste or protestation:
"Sorry, I thought you were shouting my name."
Nice ring to it.
Posted by Laurel | September 6, 2006 3:13 PM
Posted on September 6, 2006 15:13
There are days when I'm surprised the corporate surf patrol software doesn't block my access to this site. Thank god for "special access" for communicators that need to do "research."
Posted by Rachel | September 6, 2006 4:30 PM
Posted on September 6, 2006 16:30
Rachel - is that what the kids are calling it these days.
Brilliant.
Posted by Rebecca (token IT Goddess) | September 6, 2006 4:47 PM
Posted on September 6, 2006 16:47
The "control" key at bottom right, the "escape" key at top left. Heaven. The "backspace," "enter," "insert," and "shift" keys. Divine.
The space bar along the bottom - well, that's where I draw the line. Standards - you know.
Posted by patrick williams | September 6, 2006 5:44 PM
Posted on September 6, 2006 17:44
Steve your face and ass play were never two things I wanted to see on the same page.
Donkey Punches - Perhpas
Angry Dragons (Strawberry & Cream in the U.S) - Most certainly
But Dam Steve no more AtM I'm begging you!
OK seriously I laughed at this one until my taint hurt.
=============================================
I am a self professed electronics aholic. I was weened from my Mother's teet with an IBM PC.
My wife is not. She grew up in the wilds of Western Pennsylvania where to this day they still have not run cable down my in-law's street (Yes I start to get cold sweats everytime the Holdays approach).
When we got married I had just discovered the sheer rapture of MMORPG gaming. For the uninformed or for those who actually have a life that hellatious acronym stands for Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. This is where millions of dorks congregate in a fantasy realm, kill orcs, swap stories and generally embarass their friends and family.
After a few months of my coming home from work, firing up the machine and not resurfacing until my contacts had laminated my eye ball, we had a talk.
I agreed to unplug a tad (we're one of those weirdos without a TV in the bedroom) and she agreed to jack in a bit (she now has a lvl 60 Priestess in World of Warcraft, thanks to a month long rehab from foot surgery). And we're both pretty dam happy.
Posted by Rob Patey | September 7, 2006 12:52 PM
Posted on September 7, 2006 12:52
"You shouldn’t be picturing me in my bed..."
Oh God...too late NOW. Sheesh!
Posted by Ann Handley | September 8, 2006 3:47 PM
Posted on September 8, 2006 15:47
>>This is where millions of dorks congregate in a fantasy realm, kill orcs, swap stories and generally embarass their friends and family. But why in the world couldn't someone do their nightly blogging in the other room, THEN go to bed, said bed being reserved for what it's traditionally reserved for? (Reading books, of course. What were *you* thinking?)
Posted by DeAnna B | September 9, 2006 11:04 AM
Posted on September 9, 2006 11:04