Fight the power! Fight the jargon! I used to put stuff like that in my drafts all the time...which works well until something slips through the editing process before you take it out. The jargonite execs? Not big fans of l'snark.

Steve, in my dreams.

S'cuse me, I have to take a smoke break . . . messed the sheets on that one, Steve =) (and you know I don't smoke).

Laurel

I know . . . wouldn't it be great. The funny thing is, half of the executives I deal with, when confronted by their bullshit, laugh. The scales come off their eyes. They see it for what it is.

But nobody ever tells them they sound like idiots. Nobody ever tells them that the employees are all making fun of them.

For the love of a good and holy GOD, let's start a movement.

Steve C.

We were told once (a few years ago) that we had to use a quote like that in our employee magazine. We used it, and you know what happened to us? We ended in Steve's presentation for two years. Show that to the right people and you eliminate about 90 percent of the jargon from your publication quickly.

Thanks?

The other week a writer who had come up with a great lede for a newsletter story called me with a familiar lament. The executive who she had quoted had completely mucked up his own words. He had changed his quote from a simple, understandable, funny statement to a garbled piece of bureaucratic claptrap.

I called the guy, who I have a relationship with that goes back many years, and told him he had come down with a bad case of MES.

"What's MES," he said, rising to the bait.

"Meddling executive syndrome, you big doofus! You ruined the first paragraph of your story." I read the offending passage to him and said, "Do you think anybody actually talks like that?"

And, as Steve said, of course he laughed at himself and the story was salvaged.

We need to gently challenge people like this all the time. But, you know, it takes many years of experience to have the dipomacy, the style, and the courage to coach senior people like that. So it's very important that junior communicators have someone who can advocate for them - and for folks like Steve to challenge all of us to do better.

Ron - you're so right! Learning HOW to get people (cause it isn't ONLY executives who do this to quotes!) to recognize the ridiculousness of turning a great, genuine quote into a garbled mess of corp-speak is an art, and you need a whole bag of approaches to convince these people to speak English.

My best approach to date is to play dumb and blame the whole thing on me, i.e. "I'm not really clear on what that means, and I was involved in the writing. I think that it would be, perhaps, even less understandable to the employees/stakeholders/customers who don't know anything about this yet. If we make this more simple we'll be sure to get the result you are after from this message."

It works about 75-80% of the time.

Thanks, Kristen. And now, for you and the thousands of readers of Corporate Hallucinations, a special treat -- an excerpt from my IABC Knowledge Bank book, Writing and Editing the Internal Publication: Delivering Employee Communications with Impact, Integrity and Style:

How to Defend Your Copy

Okay. You’ve invested in relationships. You’ve managed expectations. You’ve produced a great story that is well-researched and well-written, that supports the business goals of the organization and contains information of real use to employees. But someone wants to make changes that will detract from what you’re trying to accomplish with your communication. Don’t just give in! Defend your story, but do it in a civil way. Be firm. Listen to the arguments of the reviewer, and when he or she has a point, concede it. And have your arguments ready:

"If we leave that detail out, we will lose credibility because everyone knows it already."

"If we make that change, the story doesn't make sense any more and we'll lose the reader."

"I'm not sure it's a good idea to change someone else's quote. I'm sure if she's uncomfortable with what she’s said, she'll let me know."

"We have a mandate to be frank and open with our readers. To leave that key fact out goes against the values of this publication."

"If I take that out, the quote loses all its personality, and you know how dull a lot of this stuff can get."

"I'm not sure we need all that extra detail to tell the story. Remember, we're talking to all employees here, and the people in the other divisions won't understand the terminology."

And so on. Calmly and firmly talk about the consequences of making inappropriate changes. Don't get angry and risk making personal remarks that will damage your relationship. Let your source know you're on the same side: "Look, I care as much as you that we get this right. Maybe we can find a better way to make your point..."

At first, you may lose some arguments, but stay with it. Practice. Show your expertise and demonstrate that you care about the truth. In the end, you will be respected for your values and your dedication.

Thank you, Ron!!

For those who can't get enough Ron Shewchuk, he will be the featued guest at "Happy Hour" on this month's Corporate Punishment podcast, coming soon to an iTunes near you.

Ron has long been one of the best editors--if not THE best--in the corp comm business. He's also a gourmet bbq chef. We're going to talk about how the two things are linked. It should be fun, because Ron is, among many other things, one of the world's greatest drinkers.

He once spilled his vodka martini into his salad, and without missing a beat simply picked up the bowl and slurped down the entire thing.

His is, in many ways, my idol.

Steve C.

I was there when Ron invented the Martini Vodkaigrette.

DELICIOUS!

As I remember it, I didn't drink it from the bowl but instead quickly cupped it with my hand and strained the vodka back into my martini glass.

I had originally called it the Balsamic Martini, but I like Vokdaigrette, David. Rhymes with regret and forget, two other things that go well with vodka.

After reading this post, as well as the other Corporate Hallucinations, I believe more than ever that I need to get out of the public sector and into a position/company that will pay for me to attend a Steve C. training session so I, too, can learn to create words like Vodkaigrette (and to prove I am worthy of using the terms).

Mark

Slowly, but surely, they're starting to hear me. Getting rid of "corporate speak" is a long and arduous road, but so worth the ride. Steve, how ya doin'? :0)

Holy Moly...

What a breath of fresh air!

Kirk