Yeah, but I'd rather he talk into the ear dildo than drive with one hand while holding the cell phone to his ear with the other.

Touche, mon frere. Touche. But don't you miss the old days when they didn't have anybody to talk to you but the passenger? Maybe I'm blaming the ear dildos when I should be blaming the intrusive, never-ending, pervasive technology that not only enables us to be "connected" at all times, but makes us feel guilty if we're not!

See you next week at Web Content Conference!

Steve C.

Steve, you're right. And these cabbies are really missing out on extra tips. I had to take a cab once from Dulles to downtown DC and had a fascinating talk with an Afghan-born cab driver. He was so interesting I tipped him extra just for his story! But if he'd been talking on a Bluetooth -- no way!

You are dead on, Laura!

I used to be a HUGE tipper in cabs, especially when I got to hear the person's story. When someone from Sierra Leone tells you how his country is so rich, but so corrupt, that he had to leave and leave his family there so he could make money, and then goes into detail about the corruption and living conditions . . . . . you learn a lot, appreciate life here a little more, and leave a big tip.

When they're on the Bluetooth? They don't get to keep the change.

Steve C.

Bluetooth isn't too big a problem yet here in central Pennsylvania. But once hands-free devices are required by the government, things are going to degrade quickly in Mr. Penn's woods.

I never know if they really heard where I want to go. From a the social and educational aspect, how does one meet new people if we only speak to those we know? Sometimes you end up with a "sixth degree" experience, where you end up knowing the same person through others.

I always know it's going to be a good day when I log on to my computer and see the word "dildos" at the top, center of the screen on my RSS feeds list ... sweet.

I completely agree, Steve. In fact, Chicago cabbies have always been my favorites. About ten years ago, I was in town on business and it was late and freezing cold out ... I had a cabbie pick me up near O'Hare and take me downtown, chatting the whole way. When I got to the restaurant, he was concerned that I wouldn't be able to find a cab to get me home after dinner. So, he gave me his home number, and told me to call him when I was done. I did, and he took me on a 20-minute tour of the lakefront and downtown (for no charge) on the way back. Great experience.

On a recent trip to NYC, the cabbies never so much as glanced my way as they chatted on their blueteeth. (There, I believe the use of hands-free headsets or speakerphones is the law.)

Second-favorite cabbies: Vegas. Now THEY have some stories to tell.

Steve - thought you'd enjoy this post. They look even more phallic now.

http://www.popgadget.net/2007/11/the_flamingo_bl.php

Yeah, the Borg-ish implications of those things are too much for me. But your story reminds me of the great commercial (Southwest, I think) where the guy and the gal are sitting in the meeting room, he expresses his affection, she thinks he's talking to her and replies in kind. Turns out he was talking to someone else on his cell, and she's mortified. (Wanna get away?) That one cracks me up every time!
Greg

Oh . . . My . . . . God. Jamie! They actually look like they have a testicular sack now!!! That is too funny. Hey, I can't find your new contact information . . . can you shoot me an e-mail? Mine has changed, to: steve@crescenzocomm.com.

Greg . . . I love that commercial too. And I just saw the season finale of Curb Your Enthusiasm, where larry is in a restaurant and a Bluetoother sitting next to him, by himself, is carrying on a conversation with the bluetooth non-stop.

So Larry starts talking even more loudly to himself . . . which is something I want to do every time I'm in an airport and the guy next to me is on one of those things.

Steve C.

Steve,

Must agree with you about the simple engaging pleasure of speaking with cab drivers. Had one nice conversation with a dude from Ghana, as he took me from Hyde Park to downtown. Started off my day well.

BTW - My kind of town, Chicago is. To quote a guy from Jersey. Have to get back there soon and go to Buddy Guy's place. Am bummed I didn't get a chance to hear some live blues while there.

Hey, guilt-ridden liberal seems under-represented here. I'm the guy who gives the homeless person a dollar and then apologizes. "That's all I have."

I always used to feel guilty—especially when I first moved to Chicago—about the very act of getting into a cab and, for some paltry price (cabs were very cheap in Chicago then, and still are, comparatively), telling this poor asshole where he was going to spend the next chunk of his day (stuck at O'Hare waiting for a ride back, stuck on the Eisenhower Expressway trying to get into the Loop).

Until, that is, these cats started working the phone all the time. Now I think,

"Great! He's running another company while he drives!"

"Maybe he's a customer service rep for Comcast!"

"Maybe he's a pimp!"

In any case, I no longer feel guilty about riding in cabs. And of course I still tip like a king and say I'm sorry it's not enough.

Hi Steve!

You are so right-on about the Bluetooth cabbie thing! It's the same way in NY!

Actually, I thought of you tonight - while I was out having dinner with my friend, I came across this annoying guy, and sure enough he was wearing a Bluetooth!

Was that "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode hysterical or what? I really hope it comes back for another season.

Looking forward to seeing you in Chicago next week! You, too, Shel and David!

Cheers,

Kelly

I can't wait to get start my trip to Chicago for the Ragan website conference. I'll be able to sit behind someone on the airplane who reclines their seat too far, I'll run into annoying people in the airport who don't know how to prepare for security screening, I'll die of starvation on the flight from Western Canada and then I'll get stuck with a cabbie who won't want to talk to me. Grrrrrrr!

By the way - is anyone interested in trying to get tickets to the Black Hawks game on Wednesday night?

Steve - I'm coming from Edmonton, and bring indirect greetings from Carol at the public affairs bureau. I'll see if I can con her into sending some chocolate along with me.

This reminds me of your rant about people talking to you in the airport bar when you weren't interested in being chatted up.

Granted, you AREN'T the bartender so it isn't your job to chat up the clientele, but I have to wonder if those people looked at you as someone who might be able to entertain/teach them.

Maybe the cabbie doesn't even have someone on the other end of the line. Maybe they just don't want to be chatted up.

Just playing the devil's advocate here.

I think Colleen's onto something. The ear dildo can be as effective as BIBO (buds in, book out) for avoiding unwanted conversation.

Sorry folks, I have to comment. I love this blog and its bluntness, but there is a limit and 15 comments later and no one has said it.

"Planning to blow up the Sears Tower" - I'm sorry. Are you serious? I thought we had moved past this. That's so 2001.

I may be an anal stick-in-the-mud, but this is inappropriate when talking about cabbies from other (presumably Middle Eastern, based on the conversational exchange described) cultures. I will throw blunt right back at you and say that perhaps there's a reason they don't want to talk to you.

There, I've said it. Cleared my conscience. And perhaps started a whole other dialogue, or given Steve something else to rant about (political correctness or critical comments in blogs - take your pick) in the process.

Carry on.

Hey, Robin!

I'm all about bluntness . . . giving and receiving. After I wrote it and posted it, I actually remember thinking: "hmmm, I hope that doesn't piss anybody off."

I just thought it was funny to mix up Lebanese food words with terrorist words.

Steve C.

Kelly Eby!

I just now noticed your comment, for some reason. When are you coming in? We should have a drink together. I'm teaching two pre-cons back to back on Wednesday, then emceeing the conference and doing the luncheon keynote. So I'll be there the entire three days.

Oh, MAN . . .have you had the chocolate that Carol's husband makes? It's out of this world. If you can snag some, I'll buy the first seven rounds of drinks.

Or , . . maybe you should bring the rounds of drinks, since you'll be bringing some of the magic Canadian dollars down with you. You're going to think Chicago is one big Dollar Store.

Steve C.

Alas, Steve - I was unable to reach Carol and thus have no chocolates to share. Although I must say that if I was travelling across the country with chocolate, it would be highly unlikely the majority of the chocolate would actually make it to my destination.

I have known Carol since College but only recently re-connected with her at one of Edmonton's communications events - she is the epitome of "good people" - the chocolate is just a bonus.

I will be arriving Tuesday night around 7:0 so feel free to leave me a message re: how to reach you. Although I'm not much of a drinker (allergies - grrrrr!) I'm quite happy to watch others drink and just enjoy their company. Since we've never met (I've only appreciated your particular brand of irreverance from afar at IABC conferences), I think I might buy the first round. I'll bring a handful of loonies and toonies and we'll see how far that gets me.

See you later this week.

Hey, Steve! See, I knew deep down you were a sensitive, politically correct guy. You're just trying to stir the pot... Is it sweeps week in blogland? :)

I have to say, you do know your Lebanese food.

Robin, if you already know that you are an anal stick-in-the-mud (your words), then what possible benefit was there in posting those remarks about Steve's bluntness?

Will

Oh . . . . I love the Lebanese food. We have a place about a block away, Maza's, where Joe, the owner/waiter/cook/enforcer makes the best lamb dish in Chicago.

It's a crown rack of lamb, prepared tableside, with a sauce that you want to swim in.

The other day, for the first time ever, I took Zach (my son) in there. Joe was standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed, as intimidating as he always is.

I had already warned Zach that Joe was not to be trifled with.

Joe said: "I see you brought your boy."

Me: "I think he's ready for your lamb."

Joe: "We'll see."

By the end of the meal, they had to pry the lamb bones from Zach's hands, because he had picked them up and was sucking every last shred of meat off them.

Not the best table manners, to be sure . . . but one has to make exceptions in extraordinary cases.

Steve C.

Will, I don't even really know what to say in response to that. Because by virtue of my silence I would have been condoning something as okay when I think it's not? Because if someone doesn't stick up for people evidently no one will? Because I'm Canadian and we don't tolerate that kind of thing as well here? At least Steve took it in the spirit in which it was intended.

Steve - nice description of the lamb. Now my mouth is watering. And... I'm trying greatly not to let this turn into a flame war. But hey - an innocent-enough blog scandal never hurt anyone, right?!

Robin:
You Canadians, you're all so nice and polite!
Oops, there goes another stereotype!
Greg

Bravo Robin,
The original post drifted seriously into racist waters on the thought that foreign-speaking people might be terrorists just because they're not speaking English. Pretty sad.

Steve --

Long time reader and fan.

I'm a day late and a devalued-dollar short on this issue, but love the ear dildo term. I've been bitching about those stupid Blueteeth (correct plural?) for years. Between the ubiquitous laptops, cell phones, ear dildoes and TVs everywhere (including moving cars -- great idea!), we have become a population that is too "busy" with technology to engage in civil, undistracted conversation in public with other human beings. Whatever happened to schmoozing?

Great post and so timely because more and more we are tuning out those around us and becoming a more secluded society. Too many people are in their own little world. I love technology but some technology has made us lazy and secluded.

This topic reminds me of when I see someone in a public place (i.e. grocery store -- and for whatever reason it usually is a male) wearing the magic earpiece ... He is not actually talking on it but he sure does "look important" and he is "ready at a moment's notice" in case that important phone call comes in from his wife reminding him to pick up dog food for Fido.

I understand wearing one for business purposes (in some social settings) but the dildos that wear them on a Saturday afternoon in the grocery store remind me of the 55 year old guy driving around in the little red sports car (he "looks" cool, right?)

Wearing your dildo because you take/make a lot of business calls is okay (although don't be one of those people next in line at the store talking on your dildo while an employee is trying to help you).

Wearing one because you want to focus on driving is okay ... Wearing one because you think it makes you look important and you aren't even talking on the damn thing? Well -- yeah -- you're somewhat of a dildo ...