"I've lost that reading feeling, Oh, that reading feeling."

But I've found that something changed once I became a daddy. Every night right before bedtime, my two year-old goes over to her books and pulls out a book for me to read to her. Hearing her repeat the words back and anticipate each page turn is pure bliss. I've never enjoyed reading so much.

Chuck . . . I know what you mean.

When Zach was too young to know about Wii or Nintendo or Club Penguin, and I would read to him at night and he would be INTO IT . . . you can't have those days back. If you're still in them, wallow in them and relish them and cherish them . . . .because soon enough, the video games and the internet and the movies and the TV are going to come crashing through the windows of your Shangri La and fuck everything up.

Steve C.

Steve----he may yet develop that passion you're looking for, especially since dad is bleeding it out his pores! I think you're getting way more book mileage here than a lot of kids and parents---he spends time reading, you guys sit and read TOGETHER, and how many families do that!?!?!

Just don't be so down on yourself...I think you are way ahead of the curve!

I'm in that phase w/my 1-3/4 yr old where Go Dog Go is the book of choice. Her favorite page is "To the tree, to the tree!" I have to read it a couple times a day, but it's the price you pay, right? =)

Laurel:

YES!!! It's the price you pay. TO THE TREE!! TO THE TREE!!!

I think it used to be that if you read to your child every night, you had a pretty good chance of having them love to read. I don't know that that's the case anymore. Now you just read and read and read to them . . . and hope.

Alex: I'm sorry about the RSS thing. I'll have someone at the Home Office look into it immediately.

Steve C.

I've met Zach. He's a cutie. And a toughie. But he's not without a gooey, soft inside.

I think it's possible that he's feigning disinterest in Charlotte's Web because he doesn't want to let on that the story makes him sad.

Allow me to illustrate my point:

About ten years ago, I was having Thanksgiving with my ex's relatives in Houston. Relatives I didn't know well--plus a handful of people adults I'd never met.

There was a child there watching Charlotte's Web on TV and, of course, I got sucked into the story and couldn't stop watching--even though I remembered the book from when I was a kid.

Imagine my embarrassment when Charlotte died and I started heaving like a forlorn widow. I could have filled a 5-gallon bucket with the snot that was pouring out my nose. Could have washed several of the large Texan cars parked in the driveway with my tears. All of this in front of innocent strangers who simply wanted to "eat-their-goddamned-turkey-in-peace-and-by-the-way-who-is-the-nutjob-in-the-living-room?"

I was 33 years old.

Granted, I'm a hypersensitive maniac who precariously walks a thin line between sanity and the great abyss.

But still ...

I say, give the kid a break.

I'll bet he likes the book just fine.

And for the love of a good and holy Christ child, back off the spiders.

"I was about to step on it."

(Why I orta ...)

"It’s not his fault. When I was a kid, we didn’t have Nintendo or Wii or Xbox or GameCube. There wasn’t a new kid movie out every week. There weren’t seventy-five kids’ cable stations to watch."

Exactly. I'm a writer, and I'm having the same issues with my son. He sees reading as a chore, not a joy. I'm still trying to turn him around.

Matt: Don't give up the fight. It's worth fighting.

Aunt Suki: I love you. And so does Zach. But sometimes, spiders need to be stepped on.

Steve C.

Sometimes big, bald bloggers need a taste of Suki's specialty: the knuckle sandwich.

Steve - to echo the other comments, don't give up. Sometimes it takes longer for kids to find THAT BOOK!! You know - the one that makes them want to sit in a beanbag for days straight and sneak a flashlight into bed. And the fact that you read to, and with him - makes you golden!!

One suggestion I might make: Make sure Zach knows he doesn't have to keep reading any book he doesn't like. Sometimes kids get the idea that if they start a book, they MUST finish it, and if they really aren't into it, but think they gotta slog through it anyway, reading does become a chore instead of the joy we all know it as.

So tell Zach there are millions of other books out there and that he should keep checking out new ones because there are some stories that Hollywood hasn't made into movies yet. And that means we can just enjoy them on the page and inside our own heads, visualizing and hearing the characters the way our imaginations create them and falling into the magic of the books!

Steve, I hope you, Cindy, Zach and all your family and friends have a great holiday and a wonderful New Year!

When I was a kid, I could never put a book down either. Roald Dahl, Astrid Lindgren, Annie MG Schmidt, and indeed E.B. White. I also did the flashlight thing.
Unlike my sister who never enjoyed reading - until she discovered Heller, Vonnegut and Murakami. Her book collection has grown impressively these past couple of years. As a child she just never found any books that really meant something to her.
Kristen might be right. Zach might still find that one book that will trigger his love for reading.
Happy holidays, Steve.

Steve,
Good luck with Zach. Beth started reading when she was 2 and I thought I was going to have another book lover in the house.

Unfortunately she became addicted to television and her great passion for reading died until she started reading what she wanted to read rather than what I was suggesting/forcing her to read.

She didn't want to read about Henry Huggins or Harriet the Spy or Danny Dunn or Encyclopedia Brown or books by Tolkien or Twain. However she chose to read all the books in the Lemony Snickett series and she loves Lois Duncan.

It helped that we made it part of our routine to go to Barnes and Noble every week and I would let her pick out and buy a book she wanted to read. That was when I found out that the books I loved as as child are not necessarily what she wanted to read and that I was out of touch with what kids are reading today.

I know you want him to love and share the same things that you do but you're just going to have to be patient and let him discover his own tastes.

On a side note you fat bald bastard when am I going to be on your cooking show?

I know I am about to get flambéed, lambasted and generally raked over the coals for the advice I’m about to dole out, but please read to the end before you hit the comment button to tell me I’m a moron.

When I was 4 years old my family was the first on our block to have cable. The year was 1978 and while everyone else was stuck with the holy New York trinity of channels 2,4 and 7, I was basking in the glow of 35 channel goodness.

When I was five I was the size of an average 8 year old. My Dad always called me a Saint Bernard puppy because of my ill proportioned hands and feet (I have a size 16 today to put all of this into perspective). My gigantic proportions in turn made me a gigantic spaz. My gym teacher told my parents that there was new thing that hooks into the television called an Atari, and it had been helping a lot of kids with hand to eye coordination. Yes, in 1979 gym teachers were actually recommending video games.

My point is that I had distractions along the same vein as Generation Wi-Fi, granted there were less, but they were still there.

Despite the multitude of cartridges at my disposal, I still read. The trick was finding things that would appeal to a generation that was becoming more and more visually oriented. My Dad in his infinite wisdom started picking me up comic book issues of Richie Rich. My Dad thought I looked like him (and some will argue I still do) and that would help me relate to the book. Well, relate I did.

Eventually I graduated beyond the Harvey line of titles and moved into the traditional Batman, Superman and X-men. Almost thirty years later I still visit the comic store every Wednesday and last year I built out a database to manage the 40 plus boxes that occupy my basement (I won’t go into my wife’s feelings about this, let her start her own blog).

Why did I love comics? There were things they could do on a comic book page that they couldn’t pull off in movies. Epic space battles, monsters of gargantuan proportions and men and women with Godlike powers standing for what’s right. Yes, today we have CG and special effects that can get close to what’s on a comic page, but it costs millions of dollars and years to complete in a movie. Comic books come out each week and there is rarely an end to the stories.

The show Heroes has become the TV phenomena of the past two years. Well you know what, everything that happens in that show has been happening in comics for the past ten years.

There are a ton of titles out there for kids and adults alike. The characters are rich and complex, and thanks to the serial nature of comics, kids who are into them can’t wait for the next issue to come out. I’ve heard kids at the mall begging their parents to go to the comic book shop. Indirectly, they are begging to read folks.

There are some fascinating stories happening in the comic book world. If you want recommendations for your kids or recommendations for yourself please drop me a line at robpatey@comcast.net or on Myspace at www.myspace.com/robpatey. I’ll help you find the right book for you or your youngin.

The Great Brain! My god I loved those books. Wore em out from the library.

I had my own parenting moment recently. I'm reading the 6 year old the first Harry Potter -of course she and her sister are VERY familiar with the flicks. She tells me "Boy, there's a lot more in these books than the movie."

Yes there is, baby. Yes there is.

I wanted to go out and buy her a pony right there on the spot.

My advice? Dont try and get the kids into the books YOU loved. You're not cool, remember? Let them read books that have "dangerous" ideas - things they wouldnt otherwise have access to. Let em think. Books that they "shouldnt" have (within reason, of course). That was what I loved about books in my formative years - the freedom they represented.

-Neruda

Steve, Keep encouraging him!! Emily is two and I love that she brings me books to read at bedtime. I also love your idea about not showing the movies first. I am going to remember that.

Also, books like The Hardy Boys, etc., well, there may be some sort of video out there (remember the Shaun Cassidy tv episodes?) and something even more recent, but I would think that those books have never been on his radar. Introducing books like that, where a movie or tv series has not been the "hot" item for kids, may be helpful.

But I agree that one of the best things you are experiencing, which others have commented on, is that you and he read together, spend time together, etc. WOW. COOL.

Merry Christmas to you all!!!

Merry Christmas!

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one a) struggling with this; and b) thinks its important enough to struggle with.

I love the advice about not assuming Zach should read the books I love. I am NOT cool. (I mean, I am, but he doesn't realize it yet.)

I am spending this morning online, researching kids books, so I can get three or four of them for his stocking. So far, I've come up with "Holes," which I had never heard of, but which is supposed to be terrific.

Anyone hear of Holes?

Steve C.

Holes is awesome. And there's a movie, which hopefully he hasn't already seen, which you can hang over him like a carrot until he finishes the book. It's the same author of Wayside School books, which are great too.

If you haven't already discovered Captain Underpants, you are half a man/dad.

As my 18-year-old pre-med niece said recently, "Ah, the things I learned from the man with the pants on his head." Great stuff.

Okay Steve - if that quote from Eileen's niece doesn't get your son chomping at the bit for a copy of Captain Underpants, I don't know what could! Ha Ha! Brilliant!

Of course, you could always do what Renee and I did with our two girls....no Xbox, Ninteno, etc. until they were at least 11. We still only have basic cable and no TIVO, Wii, etc.

Videos/DVD's are regulated to weekend nights or those when there is no homework or after it has been done.

There was grumbling from time to time about what all the other kids had, how unfair/clueless we were etc. but they actually grew up similar to how you did in terms of reading. Each of their rooms must have a couple hundred books each on their bookshelves.

They actually put books on their Xmas lists and, one of their most exciting days was the day we let them get a, gasp! library card! (In fact my 7th grader just asked me to drop off a load of library books for her on the way to work yesterday.)

All in all, I'm fine with being considered a mean, out-of-touch fossil when I realize that books are/were a major part of their lives.

I've got two words for you. Harry. Potter. I am an avid reader, like you, and read them all in like two days, each time they were released (I had to go to work in between, but I could have done each one in a day). Those will definitely get his attention...

I look forward to all of your posts and thoroughly enjoy your sharp wit.

If you are lucky you can find books that are great for both parent and child, and sometimes books that also have a great movie version. "The Princess Bride" and "Stardust" are two that come to mind right away. And, lucky child, your son will soon be ready for Terry Pratchett's kids' books, then his grown-up books.

Bummers: (a) kids that don't read (b) when your kid reads one of your favourites and doesn't like it :-(

I really like the idea of getting books Zach can read before he sees the movie.

Or, you can watch a movie like the "Pride of the Yankees" (since Zach plays ball). Then after you watch the movie (together, of course), tell him there's a whole lot more to Gehrig's story than can fit into a couple hours. Then give him a book about Lou Gehrig and let him read more about Gehrig's life and career.

And, Merry Christmas to you, Cindy & Zach.

Rob, I agree comics are great. I'm from Belgium, which as you may or may not know has a longstanding tradition of comics, from the Smurfs to Tintin. So much in fact that the Belgian Centre for Comic Strip Art (yes, it's art) is located in the beautiful Art Nouveau Waucquez Warehouses in Brussels. The federal government even has a section dedicated to comic art on its website. While I love reading books, I also enjoy comics. One of my favs is Thorgal, which has been translated into English.

By the way, with all that talk about books, Steve has cleverly diverted our attention away from that giant swing basket.

If I were Cindy in that basket and I saw Steve below me in all his hairless glory I would never come down.

That's why no one wants to talk about the basket.

I don't have any children, but I feel like kids are able to use computers as soon as they're born. Perhaps you could encourage your son to start a blog about books that he has read. Then, if he gets into the habit of blogging, he might feel encouraged to read more in order to come up with blog posts.

My sister and I routinely used to get busted for the flashlight-under-the-covers-to-read-a-book-past-bedtime infraction. I remember the worst thing I ever heard a doctor say as a kid - I got pinkeye, and he said "No reading. Take her books away." (To which my mother, bless her, said, "Doctor X, you're an ass.") I remember Anne of Green Gables, all of the Laura Ingalls Wilder books, anything written about King Arthur, Judy Blume (I cringe at it now, but then...), Nancy Drew (I could tell it was badly written, even then), and National Geographic World Magazine -- my very first "own" magazine (my sister used to get really pissed off when I stole her Seventeen magazines, so I had to read my mom's Vogues and Harpers' Baazars). Even today, there's nothing that isn't better with a book (even where YOUR mind is going, Steve, it's always better with a book). David Murray once asked which institutions we most admired, and I said libraries. So it's understandable that if young Zach isn't quite the bibliophile you'd want him to be, you're a bit disappointed. Do you remember that scene in Tom Sawyer? Maybe you should try the old whitewash-the-fence ploy. "Gee, Zach, do you really want to read that big, long book? It looks kinda hard for you...maybe we should just put it away till you're older and smarter. Well...ok, then, maybe just a few pages...Well, if you really want to, we could read a bit more..."

There's hope?

I'm impressed by the wildly popular Harry Potter books. These puppies are as think as phone books and some kids rip through them in one night. Yes, they are followed by movies, and yes, the age group is a bit older than your son, but I still have hope.

All the books mentioned are fiction. My son, now 16, has always disliked fiction. One book he has enjoyed for several years is "Parallel Worlds: A Journey Through Creation, Higher Dimensions and the Future of the Cosmos" by Michio Kaku. Another book he really likes (and has since he was eight) is "The Science of Science-Fiction Writing" by James Gunn.

Recently, he read and enjoyed "Animal Farm" and "1984" by George Orwell. Although these are fiction, they're not simple children's stories; they make you think.

My son really enjoyed the Harry Potter series. He was introduced to the first book in first grade. Of course, there were no movies in those days but, even if there were, we might not have allowed him to see the movies until after he read the books.

When he was eight, there was limited television and videos and no game systems. When we watched movies, we did it as a family. He has never had a TV or a computer in his bedroom (so now he sleeps on the couch by the television!). But he has always had a reading light installed in his bedroom so that he could comfortably read in bed (no need for a flashlight under the covers for him).

So I have three suggestions: Try nonfiction, try classic fiction books that he hasn't seen the movies of already and try books that are way above his grade level. But keep in mind that your son's generation gets a lot of knowledge through videos and I'm not sure I see anything wrong with this.

Hey, one more thought. OK, a couple more...

Not sure I agree with the "no TV, no video game" strategy. Seems to me that focuses on what you CAN'T have rather than what you can. And some of that stuff is just really, really cool (aside - just bought and watched the entire Freaks and Geeks series. Wow. If you are, oh, id say 35 to 45 you need to see this right now. And get ready for flashbacks.)

Back on point - for my 8 year old, the rule is bedtime is when it is on school nights, but once in the bed, stay up as late as you want reading. And she does, pretty much every night. She gets to stay up late (rebel!) and it's just a kick for me, when I check in on her before I turn in, to pry a book out from under her sleeping hands.

I second Neruda's suggestion to run out immediately and rent Freaks and Geeks. I own the entire season and love it.

Then follow it up by reading Kick Me by Paul Feig, writer for the TV series.

I'm wait late to join in, but what the hell. Favorite books way back then and still today -- The Chronicles of Narnia. And how cool is it that I've been reading them over again with my 10 year old for the past year or so. And that that was one of his favorite movies and he can't wait for Prince Caspian to come out this spring.

And Steve, never got to say it here, but really loved meeting Cindy in person and, of course, getting to talk with you again at the Ragan Web Content Management conference in Chicago. Sorry you and Cindy couldn't join us to see Charlie Love and the Silky Smooth Band at Kingston Mines.

As some others suggested here, try Harry Potter - just for your own sake, if not Zach's. As I read somewhere else once, Harry Potter is the most fun smart people can have with their clothes on.

A columnist for The Oregonian used to run an interesting contest with his kids every year. If I remember correctly, he would pay his kids a nickel for every page they read more than he did in the calendar year. Then he'd write a column about their reading experiences for the year.

You could also try it from a different angle. What if you encouraged him to write instead? I had a writing teacher who would start off every class with a random word or phrase ("de do do do, de da da da" is the only one I remember), and we'd all just write for 15 minutes. It wasn't a contest - it was just a way to loosen up and see what happens. Maybe you could do it together with Zach and take turns picking a word, or maybe he'd respond better if you gave him a word and he went off and spent real time on it. Anyway, just a thought.

First, thank you to everyone for the wonderful advice and insights out here. I'm glad to know I'm not the the only one thinking about this, and taking it seriously. You've given me (and, I'm sure, other parents) some great tactics.

Valarie: That is one thing I have been doing lately . . . encouraging Zach to write. He just finished a four-part masterpiece titled, The Flying Baby, in which a huge baby attacks a child in the woods, pelting the poor boy with dirty diapers.

It was great . . . and I think the whole writing thing will make him more interested in books. I also bought Holes for Christmas, and a whole bunch of books where he has to solve mini-mysteries . . . sort of like Encyclopedia Brown. I know he'll get into those, too.

Hope everyone had a happy new year!!

Steve

Michael:

It was great seeing you in Chicago, too!

Next time, we'll do the Mines for sure. Hell, you can crash on our sofa . . . we're only a block away!

Steve C.

Steve - I'm super late on this one, but I've been on vacation since before Christmas (lucky me!). I've worked for a book retailer for 14 years, including four years as a children's bookseller, so I have a little bit of expertise in this area.

I've found that the best thing to do is let them read whatever they want to read. They want to read Goosebumps instead of Great Expectations? Let them! Star Wars books, other TV/movie tie-ins, non-fiction books about whatever topic interests them, anything at all. Let them read it. Once Zach gets into reading, he'll either find the "good stuff" (new or old) on his own, or you can introduce him to it. Or maybe he won't even like the good stuff, but at least he'll be a reader! This tactic has worked with my first grade son - sometimes he's so engrossed in his book that I have to physically get his attention if I want to talk to him.

Try "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" by Jeff Kinney - it's really hot with the middle grades right now, and is actually a pretty good book. I understand that it's being turned into a series, with book #2 coming out in February.

Also try A Series of Unfortunate Events and the Spiderwick Chronicles.

I'm late on this, too, Steve, but try a kids' magazine. Back in the early '80s, my aunt sent me a subscription to Cricket magazine and I loved it - was already an avid reader but the short stories, essays and cartoons were fabulous - a great intro to many types of writing. Now we subscribe to the younger versions of the magazine (Spider and Ladybug)for our 7-year-old and 4-year-old. There are versions all the way up to high school age, I believe. Check them out here: http://www.cricketmag.com/magazinehelp.asp. Our girls race to the mailbox toward the end of each month to see if "their" magazines have arrived and can't wait to read them. They dip back into old issues from their bookshelves, too - always a good sign!

Colleen's link didn't work for me - try this: http://www.cricketmag.com/shop_magzines.asp

Great idea, Colleen.

I'm married to a fanatical educator who believes in reading. I think she would say that the best way to develop a love of reading is to read to, read with, and read alongside of your child. Jim Trelease is an excellent encouragement and resource:
http://www.trelease-on-reading.com/

OH . . . CRICKET!!!!! I loved my Cricket magazine more than life itself, Colleen. It was the highlight of the month when it would show up.

I cannot believe I haven't ordered it for Zach yet. What a horse's ass I am.

Thank you for reminding me.

And thanks for the link, Warren. I'm checking it out now.

Steve C.

Steve - Try "No More Dead Dogs" by Gordon Korman. It's a young adult novel, but fun for adult types, too. Never to early to start 'em on satire and malapropisms. Two words: Infernal equinox.

We have a rule (a loose rule in come cases) that they can't see the movie until they've read the book (or had us read it to them when they were younger).

That's worked all through the Harry Potter books/movies, and my girls complain mightily when the movie version leaves out too much detail or glosses over some important part or misses something altogether.

Unfortunately, we've already caved and let them see LOTR, and I'm betting they won't read it, as you've observed.

The trick, I think, is to get in tight with movie executives and find out what movies are coming out. THEN, force the kids to read the books before the movie premieres.

Good luck!

Dawn