This refers to email. Imagine the trouble you get into using instant messaging! You can't even TRY to use the recall button! I was asked to produce a first-person column for my client to meet a three-hour deadline. Whipped it up and got all the approvals in two hours. Was I done? No. The client himself thought it should be reviewed and 'approved' by multiple people on his staff--including one on vacation! So I sent a note I THOUGHT was to a colleague that included the line "Perhaps I should define the word deadline." Then hit send--to my client. So I picked up the telephone and called him and apologized. Sending an apology via IM seemed tacky. And he was actually very gracious. I was stunned--and eager to keep working for him ever since.

There was actually a similar argument on ESPN.com the other day about the Roger Clemens fiasco.

Humans, in general, realize that we all make a mistake at some point or another, and when given the honest truth (I messed up, I lied, I acted immaturely), we are more than willing to forgive.

When people decide to use "deny everything" PR tactics, or in this case "we care" jargon, we tend to come down much more harshly than we ever would have had the person just admitted yes, I made a mistake.

You would think people could look at this situation logically, employ a little bit of "If I was so-and-so..." logic, and figure out that talking down to the public, or just simply not shutting up and taking one on the chin, hasn't really worked for anyone. Ever.

On election night in 1996, Bob Dole's press office hit the wrong button and mistakenly blast-faxed his concession speech to reporters around the country--hours before it was meant to be delivered. The campaign immediately sent a follow-up press release retracting the statement and saying Dole was conceding nothing. Technology changes, but human foibles remain the same.

Mark,
I read your post and it felt so parallel to what happens over here in Argentina too.
I never did that mistake, only because I witnessed one of those in my early working years, and it led to a lost client.
So, after that it struck me so hard I recheck twice or three times before pushing any button.
Also I´ve been a couple of times been the recipient of these kind of mistakes, but never anything harsh to my e-mail, but internal information, such as: "Who´s this journalist Guillermo´s talking about... or why this did happen" from the PR Executive to the team (I´m in media intelligence).
Great post anyways.

Guillermo
Co founder, CCO, Chairman
Infoxel Argentina

The crazy thing is that PR is so much about common sense, and it keeps showing that[s the most uncommon of all senses.
Apologize and try to move on by actually honestly committing to something that will be of benefit for the counterpart.

I have received some of those replies instead of forwards, but never something that serious.
Some things like: what's Guillermo talking about in this report, who's that journalist he mentions.

And so what I usually do is let go off those little harmless mistakes and go on to providing the answers required in a fashion that doesn't unveil the mistake.

If ever I get (or send) somthing harder, i'll let you all know (after I apologize of course)

I've had the problem with similar names showing up in my automated email address, which wasn't that hard to distinguish in Microsoft Entourage (Outlook for Mac email users), but I haven't had that problem in Mac mail since its much more user friendly and color coded, so the names stand out better in the "to:" field.

My advice: whenever you feel compelled to send out what could be a nasty email. Take a breather, step away from your computer, come back, re-read it, and check the delivery fields - all of them. Its worked for me every time, but I don't feel too compelled to send out nasty emails anyway, not for business purposes, at least.

We have to accept that we're bound to make some "e-mail misfires," since we're trying to do so much knowledge intensive work and send out many emails in a day. The best remedy for that is to stop and breathe before firing away.

Just last week I took a cold call from a PR recruiter and when I told her I wasn't interested, she sent me a nice "thank you for your time" email. Then another email followed (it was intended for her colleauge) that said in the body of the message to mark me down with an "R" for “Reject.” I didn’t care being referenced as a "reject" regardless of whatever it meant internally. :(

Mozilo looks like he was crafted out of leather. I bet he squeaks when he smiles.

I have found that nothing diffuses a negative story in the media more quickly than simply admitting a mistake, explaining what we're doing to try to make sure it never happens again, and then actually taking those steps.

It's the same in any relationship. Your intentions and actions have to be authentic or you look like, well, Mr. Mozilo.

Just as I suspected, many of you have had this experience.

I guess it shouldn't surprise me. If you're like all of us here at Ragan, you receive hundreds of e-mails a day. Just to keep up you fire off e-mails without thinking.

Then one day, the inevitable happens and you suddenly find yourself apologizing to everyone in sight.

Great stories everyone.

A close friend accidentally replied to an e-mail in a similar way. They had used vague wording, so they were able to explain it away while avoiding outright lying.

That always seemed to me like the wrong way to go. Yes, they avoided an embarrassing conflict. But if the situation had escalated, it could have affected their credibility in a profession that is all about personal credibility.

Maybe this CEO needs to use the 3x3 rule that have saved many guys who screwed up in their relationships:

"You are right.
I was wrong.
I am sorry."

Absolutely, you have to 'fess up and apologize as soon as possible!

It happened to me - I sent an email out to my colleagues with some comments about how our Project Coordinators 'weren't useless after all - look at this great work they did for me!'

You know how Outlook will automatically offer you frequent contacts? Well, I sent the message to the wrong Christine on cc. The Christine I sent it to was a Project Coordinator herself.

I walked over and apologized face to face (they'd forwarded it across the entire Coordinator team already, and I'd never seen such stony, cold faces) and explained and ate a lot of humble pie!

They were gracious and we moved on, thank goodness.

I have recently found myself giving lessons in apologizing to representatives of various organizations that I deal with. From vendors who haven't learned (as I did, the hard way) that sometimes you just have to suck it up and let the customer be right to an editor who felt that "sorry you were offended" actually was an apology - people don't seem to be able to choke out a straight "I'm sorry. I was wrong." anymore.

I'm considering starting an online course in the art of the apology. I think it's sorely needed. Maybe those doctors would like to sign up.

There seems to be a common theme among the last few PR Junkie posts:

Tackle the problem head on, before it gets worse.

To Countrywide CEO: Step up and admit you did something wrong. You are the CEO, right? Take charge of your company and lead out front. Show your face and publicly apologize. It's what any decent person would do.

"Misunderstanding" is no apology at all...it's simply saying that "I didn't do anything wrong, and if you weren't so senstive this wouldn't be a big deal at all." It puts the onus on the receiver, not the sender.

A similar fiasco happened to a friend of mine. After getting an e-mail from his crazy boss explaining that she was would be in late because she was tired from a party (that he wasn't invited to) at her house the night before... including his snarky comments, he accidentally hit 'reply' instead of 'forward' to me.

She was not amused.

He followed Mark's path and immediately apologized. While she was still mad, it did help.

So, come on Angelo, just get it over with and apologize.

My cousin works as a loan underwriter for a bank that informed him his entire department would be eliminated. My college friend works for Countrywide as a mortgage broker. When I told her about my cousin's plight, she recommended that he call her about coming over to Countrywide. And then...get this, she went on to tell me how great the company is doing, how they've never been more secure financially, how everything in the media has been blown out of proportion concerning their shortcomings.

So clearly, the CEO's devil-may-care attitude has trickled down throughout the entire organization. Seems the entire culture is steeped in a special kind of BS.

I think some people are under the delusion that "misunderstanding" is a synonym for "mistake." "Oh sorry. I can't pay my mortgage. Giving me a loan for which I didn't qualify was just a misunderstanding on your part."