Alan Pearcy wrote this post.
As the federal trial of Chicago crime boss Michael "Big Mike" Sarno gets underway this week, I couldn't help but think what lack of imagination went into the poor construction--though accurate depiction--of his mob nickname.
As reported by the Chicago Tribune, there's a possibility that "Big Mike" had no say on his nickname. Apparently, some names are pushed on criminals by the press--names that many mobsters grow to resent, according to the Tribune.
Damn that elitist media and their lousy nicknames.
Of course, most nicknames arise from some twisted ounce of truth, no matter who claims credit for them. And with as much dinero as large corporations and their global agencies are willing to stake on just the right name, we thought it might be fun to reveal a list of ten of the best real-life mobster nicknames we could wiretap ourselves into.
Here you go:
1. Al "Scarface" Capone. His street cred alone puts him atop the list.
2. Charles "Pretty Boy" Floyd. He liked the ladies of the night, and they liked him.
3. Sam "Golf Bag" Hunt. Nothing scary about plaid, but weapons in a golf bag--yikes.
4. Thomas "Butterfingers" Moran. He'd pickpocket you like taking candy from a baby.
5. Tony "Big Tuna" Accardo. Upheld as quite the fisherman, the name is just too funny..
6. George "Machine Gun" Kelly. A gift from his charming wife, who made him practice.
7. Louis "Louie Bagels" Daidone. Link to the Philly mob and owner of a bagel shop--dare you to say New York bagels are the best.
8. Johnny "Tightlips." OK, this one's from the Simpsons, but come on!
9. Lester "Baby Face" Nelson. Angelic and youthful on the outside, coldblooded inside.
10. Anthony "Tony Ducks" Corallo. Somehow, he always ducked prosecution.
Want your own mobster nickname? Go here. I'm Lightning Fingers Valentino, which is weird because that's what they called me on Mathletes back in high school.