To put it delicately, I hate shopping for cologne with the feverous heat of a thousand blistering suns.
There are pushy salesmen who think they know the particular musk you're after far better than you, when really they're just inundating you with scented toxins because, hey, they work on commission - no, thank you.
That said, about once every year, after I've rallied every last milliliter of my cologne, I muster the strength to yet again face the fragrance counter.
Though it doesn't decongest my perfumed-clogged nasal passages, it does make me feel better knowing that I did not shop alone in 2010.
But which fragrances cast an intoxicating spell on consumers in the year that was?
Sadly for me, it was not my scent of yesteryear, Story by David Beckham; I was directed toward a nice Michigan Avenue Walgreens in search of my second-tier eau de designer of choice. I wish I was kidding.
While 2010 didn't smell like Posh Spice's favorite footballer, when you look at the marketing data, celebrity touted fragrances weren't among the perfumes and colognes that most tickled customers' olfactories.
And when examined even further, other industries aren't having the same luck they once marshaled with the allure of Hollywood glam either. Although it used to be enough to add a celebrity name or endorsement to a particular scent, those days are gone - sorry, Kim K.
With former marketing superstars like Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong losing their luster - the prior for reasons more self-inflicted than the latter - a study published by Advertising Age that looked at every televised ad over the first 11 months of 2010 found that less than 12 percent of ads using celebrities to hawk their products garnered more than a 10 percent lift when it came to a spot or campaign's effectiveness. Twenty percent even saw a negative reaction from audiences.
Ad Age sums it up quite well, not just expressing that good advertising stands on its own, but saying: "Adding a celebrity to an ad with an already poor creative message is like rubbing salt in the wound. Instead of serving as a Band-Aid to bad creative, using a celebrity on top of bad creative usually makes the ad even less effective and confusing to viewers."
We couldn't agree more - though if anyone does find my Beckham touted Story, please send it to our offices. Thanks in advance.