Well, apparently you can't "buy Friends on Facebook," as my last post claimed. In fact, quite the contrary. I thank Samantha from Hattiesburg Clinic for bringing these rather extensive guidelines to my attention. So, it turns out that in order to run a contest such as those that I described ("Like us and you can win a free Whatever"), you must adhere to an impressive grocery list of fun-killing, creativity-draining guidelines.

So as I await the arrival of the Facebook Blackhawk, with M. Zuck fast-roping down, his cease/desist briefcase at his side, I leave you with this by way of an excuse:

My bad. Dude, I totally didn't see those rules. I'll make it up to you, I swear. Why do you gotta be a punk about this? Come on, bro. I mean, like everyone else around us was doing it, so I assumed it was cool. I tell you what--I'll totally let those people who "Liked" us know. What's that? I can't do that, either? Dude. Seriously? This is the internet, bro--social media. It's like rock and roll--the uglier, the better, right? You've totally changed, man.

Anyway, before you decide to do any kind of Facebook promotion, check out those Terms. And then set up some forms for people to fill out first [rolling of the eyes].