Thought Well

Even into her seventh decade LaVena Moreland could work rings around any woman half her age. She was strong, resourceful, hard working and full of life. Her family have fond memories and remember many stories about LaVena but the one told at her memorial service said it all.

When she married her husband Lyle during the 1930s Great Depression years they lived in a tent and picked crops to make a living. Ever frugal they finally save enough money to buy a small farm of their own. Those were days when the modern conveniences of today were just a dream. No one had a refrigerator; the lucky might have an ice box which is just what the name describes, a box where ice was kept to keep the food cold or just cool depending on the season. Simple year round luxuries that we enjoy today, like ice cream in the summer, were not available. Most farm homes kept foods in an under ground cellar. Blocks of ice were hauled to the cellar from the frozen river in the winter and then covered deep in straw to hold in the cold. One would hope there was enough ice to last through the summer season to keep the foods cool. They could not afford to waste precious ice to make frivolities such as ice cream.

The Moreland’s were a friendly couple and grew to know nearly everyone in the small farming community. Often after a hard days work people gathered at their home to socialize. There came a year when the wheat crop and the gardens were growing abundantly and it was predicted to be the best farming year ever. The farm families were dreaming of paying off mortgages, buying new tractors, buying the wife that fancy new dress from the general store and buying the children new shoes. The community was a buzz: the crops would be ready for harvesting in just a couple of weeks. It was the buzz at least until that fateful afternoon when the skies grew dark, the wind began to blow and the hail began to fall.

When it was all over, there was nothing left of the crops in the field. Everything was flattened for miles around. When the storm passed the people began to gather at the usual spot, the Moreland gate. Men held their heads down to avoid having others see their tears and they kicked the ground. Women held each other and cried. Children sensing the seriousness, stayed at their parents side. But, where was LaVena and where were her children? As they looked beyond the house and out into the down trodden fields, they could see her scurrying around. While others wept, she and her children were racing back and forth to the house with buckets filled with something. What could be left out there where all the crops were destroyed? Then they could see the buckets were filled with round white balls, hail stones, or for her purposes ice. LaVena held up the big bucket with the crank for all to see and send the children running to tell them, “Come one and all, we are having ice cream tonight.”

Karren Moreland

Kelvin eagerly opened the envelope he’d just been handed by his best friend Stu. Inside were pictures from Kelvin’s recent wedding. They were blurred and grainy. Kelvin’s dis-appointment grew with each new photo.

“This is some kind of joke, right?” He stuffed the photos back in the envelope and tossed them at Stu.

“What do you mean?” asked Stu.

“These are…crap!”

“You don’t like them?”

“No, I don’t.”

“I used some very expensive high-speed film to achieve those effects. I’m sorry you don’t like them. C’mon, Kelvin! Give a guy a break for doing you a favor to save you some money.”

“Look, I never asked you to photograph my wedding. You offered your services free of charge as a gift. You’re a photographer—yet there’s not one usable print here.”

Stu felt struck. “I can’t believe you just talked down to me like that! I would never do that to a friend.”

Kelvin countered with some choice words and the argument escalated. The groom felt shortchanged; the photographer believed his artistry and effort were not appreciated. Two friends parted that day and never spoke to one another again.

Years later, each would wonder whatever happened to the other. Kelvin learned that Stu was an art director for a popular fashion magazine; Stu heard from a mutual friend that Kelvin and his wife had just celebrated their 10th anniversary by exchanging their vows again. Both men realized that they had in-appropriately weighted their disappointment with one another and ended what was once a solid friendship. And they each wondered what life would’ve been like had things turned out differently.

Sometimes it’s not who’s right or wrong that matters; it’s whether the matter gets resolved.

If you've experienced a similar situation and would like to share your story with us, post a comment here.

I ordered a Catalpa tree from a nursery on the web. I always liked Catalpa trees, especially in the spring when they have those big fragrant white flowers that contrast with the large heart shaped leaves. I liked to think of them as the heart of spring blooming.

It took several weeks for my tree to come and when it arrived it was more like a 3 ft flimsy stick than a tree. It came with a bamboo stake to hold it up and seemingly had no strength to hold itself up. For the entire first year, my wife and I periodically checked the tree to see if it was ready to have the stake removed and stand on its own. Each time we removed it, the tree practically bent over to the ground when the wind blew, and we quickly restaked it.

By the second year, the tree had hardly grown at all and looked weak as ever. We watered it, fertilized it, and... nothing. I was thinking, this is a defective tree! It must have an inherent weakness or disease. Finally, I got tired of worrying about the tree and removed the stake. I figured it could live or die, but I wasn't going to baby it anymore.

Within a month, the tree stiffened up and began to grow. By the end of that year, it hardly looked like the same tree. It was strong, putting out new branches, and looked vibrant. It was thriving.

My wife and I have five children, and looking at that tree from our back deck this spring, we realized the important lesson that our little tree was trying to teach us. How often, in our attempt to support our children, do we make the mistake of staking them too long? How often do we see them struggling and assume there is something wrong with them, instead of rethinking our approach to being their parents? It's scary pulling that stake out and making them stand in the wind, but that's the only way they will develop their own roots. That little Catalpa tree taught us a lot.

Church Saufley

COMMENTARY

A middle-aged couple sat across from one another in a booth of a coffee shop. They shared a newspaper and their thoughts on the articles they were reading.

“Oh my,” said the woman. “Did you read this story about the fellow who won millions of dollars on that game show? Says here that he’s got himself a Web site where he’s saying all sorts of unflattering things about the show and the show’s host.”

“What’s he griping about?”

“Doesn’t say. Just seems like he’s offering some kind of commentary, criticism really, just because, well, I guess just because people will listen to him since he spent so much time on the show and won so much money.”

“That’s what you call biting the hand that feeds you,” said the man.

“You’ve got that right. But I’d like to ask him why he’s using his fame in this ugly way. Of all the things he could write about. My goodness! If I had the world’s attention…”

“Yes, my love? If you had the world’s attention, what would you say?”

Readers? What would you say if you had the world’s attention for a few moments?